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Old 06-29-2014, 11:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Alcohol Warning


Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an *******.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Yeap, they can all be consequences of alcohol!!
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Old 06-29-2014, 12:04 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Nothing good ever came from alcohol, let's look at the options!

1-headache
2-sickness
3-financial ruin
4-sick days
5-embarrassment

There's 5 top reasons why I'm out!!!!
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Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

Carpe Diem.
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Old 06-29-2014, 12:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Then there's the biggy - alcoholism and death..?
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Old 06-29-2014, 12:12 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Stoogy u forgot damaged liver ruined relationship
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