J2911

I was drinking 4-5 times a week 2 to 4 glasses each time. I didn't think I was an alcoholic, I still don't but I do think I was an "abuser" and on my way. I haven't had a drink for twelve days and I am having a hard time knowing what to do to change this very bad habit. Support and experience from others would help immensely. I am a Christian and I was hiding this habit so I felt like this venue for support would be helpful. I haven't even told my husband yet! Most of the time I drank because he travels a lot and I don't like being alone.....this journey will be very interesting.

DoubleDragons

Welcome, to SR, you are smart to quit while you still can, without any fallout!! It is,a progressive thing. I am sober nine months today with SR being my only support. Everyone else in my life, including my husband, is either a normal drinker or an active alcoholic.

Again, welcome!!

Hevyn

Welcome to SR J2911. Glad to have you with us.

I started out drinking the same way you were - and it did lead to alcoholic drinking later in life. You are wise to be taking a hard look at the effect it has on you. Congratulations on your 2 weeks without wine.

J2911

Thanks for the replies. I'm definitely struggling with grieving the only way I've ever known how to relax. My personality is so driven by performance that I felt I needed the euphoric affects of wine to calm down and have an enjoyable time. I have a great sense of humor but since I've stopped drinking I feel bored, anxious and edgy. I really hope I can find myself in my forties!

aborkie

It can certainly progress. I went from beer to wine to liquor over twenty years. Congrats on two weeks, a wise move.

sobercalmwishes

I know exactly what you are talking about. I am on day 7, but please stick with it. I progressed to two bottles a night, hiding it up in my room, hiding it from everyone except my immediate family, a Christian too, feeling that awful shame that if people really knew sort of thing, but it did progress. If you can stop now, you will be blessed. I kept going, I'm almost 50, health problems from the wine, and eventually a family member who is a Christian and very close to me began to taunt me and shame me about my problem. I felt so alone. I am glad I found this place. Here you can say what you want and get help. I don't know how I found your post, but I'm glad I did. I KNEW there had to be other funny, happy, helpful loving Christian people out there who were hiding in the closet with their wine too. It's so socially acceptable for a woman to have her wine, and once you're hooked it very hard to "stay" off, it's so relaxing at first. When you get to the point I did, it's no longer relaxing, it's a necessity. I am so excited for you that you have gone this lone and mostly that you have been so HONEST about your situation! That is everything. Don't worry about losing your personality.......I too feel bored and anxious and like I've lost something, but I stay productive, clean a closet, force myself to get moving, hit the gym, plan things and pray about what God wants to do with my personality and the experience I have just walked through for so long. Already here you are helping me by being honest and posting about your hidden trouble. And you didn't even know it.

Thank you for sharing this and wishing you the best!

sobercalmwishes

congratulations on 9 months today!!!! SO encouraging you've done it here with SR. I've tried everything else. So glad to see you succeed!

least

Congrats on two weeks sober and welcome to the family. There's a lot of support here so take advantage of it to strengthen your sobriety.

Pondlady

Congratulations on two weeks without wine. I used to drink wine occasionally, then progressed to almost every day, to relax. I was worried about it progressing and wanted to quit before the damage was too great.

Two years later, I'm glad I made the decision to quit , although I wish I'd done it sooner.

huntingtontx

Welcome to SR. Two weeks is a good start. I find drinking herbal tea to be a great way to relax. Just a thought. SR is my only support also, and the support here is fantastic. I come here every day. Read, go to chat, go to meetings on Tuesday and Friday evenings and I post every day on the 24 hour support thread. I love SR and I hope it helps you too.

neferkamichael

J2911, 2 weeks no wine is FANTASTIC, congratulations, rootin for ya.

ForgetfulKevin

J2911, my first thought is that as you are Christian, you could ask Christ the Healer, or ask God through Christ, to help you with this problem.

Also, similar to many others, I am finding SR to be very helpful in making the change to sober living.

Wishing you the best!

DisplacedGRITS

Welcome J2911! As an alcoholic who got sober only after things got really bad, I am absolutely amazed at the clarity you have to see that things were progressing down a path you didn't like. You rock!!! I think if I could go back and tap my old self on the shoulder and warn her about the path she was on, I'd tell her to be honest about her drinking. I think drinking out of boredom or to alleviate negative feelings is when I my fall from grace really accelerated. I maintained a normal to bordering on abusive relationship with alcohol until I found myself alone and isolated. Alcohol then went from something I enjoyed to becoming a companion.

Loneliness was a killer for me. I found myself stuck in my own head and I developed anxieties and self hate because of the thoughts that swirled through my head. I did not like myself much back then so I drank my fears and angers about myself away. It didn't work very well. Soon, I was so self conscious and anxious that I would drink before leaving the house to "take the edge off." The edge of what? The grocery store? Dinner? To take the edge of life, the universe and everything!

Right now, I work on being of service, accepting myself for who I am, being honest and truthful and reaching out to another human being for help when I need it. Honesty really has set me free. Once I saw the truth of my relationship with alcohol, was honest about what I was seeking from alcohol and what it actually did to my serenity and accepted my role in my drinking and the role I can play in my sobriety, I found a new life opened up before me. The scales fell from my eyes and I was struck sober.

I did not get myself sober. I tried to get myself sober for years and it only worked in fits and starts. My Higher Power entered my life and removed my desire to drink. I had become willing to accept it and it came immediately. I had events occur that could only be explained as my Higher Power reaching out and touching my life. I get misty eyed right now thinking about it. Reach out to your God and invite Him into your life. Admit your relationship with alcohol to Him and ask him to take it from you. Our Higher Powers are amazing. I found that once I became willing to trust my HP to take care of the problems in my life that were too much for me, it did! Not always the way I want and often not in my timeline but it happened because I was willing to turn it over.

Welcome to our little group. I hope you find the support and advice you're looking for here.

bookmaven

Is alcohol really the only thing you know to relax? Or is that the alcoholic voice trying to trick you into believing that it's the only thing you know?

A 10 minute walk, a hot bath, reading a book for fun, playing with pets, journaling, and heck if I hate to admit this but sometimes just washing the dishes (no dishwasher) helps me relax. I also create "art" lol even if all I do with it is give it away. Maybe come up with a list of your own.

J2911

Good point bookmaven....I need that kind of change in thinking, you are right. I've become used to not having to work hard to relax with my wine. I refuse to add dishes to my list :-)
I know changing the wAy I think is most of the battle.

sobercalmwishes

Tonight, nigh 7 for me off the wine, I discovered the sweet elixir of one and a half peanut butter cookies (that my daughter made) with a super hot chamomile tea, while watching some mindless but happy tv episode thingy online. The little bit of sugar and the tea and the fun and mindless tv made me feel happy, much moreso than wine did. It's the little things I think, that I have been missing out on because I had to have my wine. I'm looking forward to enjoying the little things now, thank you for your post to get me thinking.

bookmaven

Perhaps it's the clean sink and clear countertops that are the result of doing dishes that promote my relaxation lol. I couldn't even do the dishes when I first got sober. I always had to be stoned or in the process of getting drunk and when I took those away I had to relearn how to function, how to complete life's most mundane and boring tasks. After about 5-6 weeks my brain chemistry started to balance out and I rejoined the human race lol.

Mags1

Hi J2911, congratulations on two weeks sober.

I drank with pressure from my work, pressure at home, good days at work and home, in the end, for me, anything and everything was an excuse to drink.

J2911

Just got home from a hike and reading through all these encouraging posts! I'm grateful for every word and thank you all for stepping outside yourselves to encourage me (with a little needed admonishment). I look forward to succeeding. I've downloaded many suggested books and look forward to keeping this forum a staple in my support system! Thanks again!

sobercalmwishes

BOOKMAVEN LOLOLOLOL!!! I LOVE IT! I'm having a hard time approaching the kitchen as well! LOL! I used to love to be in there swilling it while I made everything taste good and then polished it all up for the next round.