I'm on holiday, in France with my mother.
Most of you know about our relationship and the past 12 days have not been easy, yet not as dreadful as I expected. I will write more about that when I get home.
The thing is, French people don't actually drink that much. I have been here for almost 2 weeks and I haven't seen a single drunk person. But I have been eating out a lot and I am surrounded by alcohol all the time. Now, I can't stop thinking about it. I will be 8 months sober on July 1st but I have relapsed so many times in my head and I feel really guilty. Like I cheated or something.
My sobriety comes easier at home, as I don't go to restaurants much. Or bars. I do go to coffee shops.
I haven't relapsed but I have been thinking about drinking and I'm scared and I feel bad. I can't wait to get on that plane tomorrow afternoon.
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again" - Nelson Mandela.