Holidays
 

I'm on holiday, in France with my mother.

Most of you know about our relationship and the past 12 days have not been easy, yet not as dreadful as I expected. I will write more about that when I get home.

The thing is, French people don't actually drink that much. I have been here for almost 2 weeks and I haven't seen a single drunk person. But I have been eating out a lot and I am surrounded by alcohol all the time. Now, I can't stop thinking about it. I will be 8 months sober on July 1st but I have relapsed so many times in my head and I feel really guilty. Like I cheated or something.

My sobriety comes easier at home, as I don't go to restaurants much. Or bars. I do go to coffee shops.

I haven't relapsed but I have been thinking about drinking and I'm scared and I feel bad. I can't wait to get on that plane tomorrow afternoon.

Thoughts aren't actions, Tetra. Your sobriety is still intact - and probably stronger, given all the reinforcement it has had! Just one more night to go and you'll be heading home and right into 8 months :bigok:

I hope your mum recognizes your achievement and can feel a little proud of you :)

Its a tough gig you have set for yourself. I associate France, which I used to go to for two to three weeks every year, with 'good' inexpensive wine and a lifestyle which includes siting out in the evening with a lovely meal and gallons of vino. I'm not sure I would be ready to go there quite yet and look at it all differently.

...except..

..that so called 'lifestyle' isn't accessible any more by yours truly unless I want what goes with it - huge mental anguish, physical ailments and the likelihood of serious re-ignition of potentially deadly addictive drinking.

It is tough but remembering that booze is no longer our dear buddy but now our mortal enemy, is something I try to remind myself of regularly. Maybe that can help?

Oddly, as an avowed atheist I also find the serenity 'prayer' (more a sort of chant in my case) helps me a lot.

Bonne chance in any case and hang in there!

Hi Tetra,

I'm afraid I don't know the situation with your mother so can't pass comment on that aspect, but you certainly should not feel bad about thinking about drinking. The main point is that you haven't - you've controlled yourself. The seemingly little steps are always the biggest!

Hang in there Tetra, just 1 more day, think of all the positives from the last 8 months!!

You can do this!! :)