Seanfox

I made it to 2 months clean and sober yesterday, I would say it was one of my hardest days. I really wanted to drink yesterday, it was hot, it was Saturday and for some reason my brain was trying to convince me that it'd be worth throwing everything away for "one" night on the drink and cocaine. I don't understand why? I've saved more money then I ever have before, I've never felt better in myself, I'm feeling more confident and feeling excited about my future yet my brain was trying to rationalise me giving into the dastardly stuff. Even worse was that I was considering it. I've failed in the past 3 times between 2-4 months and I think that is making me feel a bit anxious, 4 months is the longest I've been and I'm determined to make it past the next few months and hopefully as time goes by I can just relax and enjoy my sobriety. I've just watched the movie Drive and now I'm ready to sleep.

I made it through today it was just scary how that voice in your head can make you forget what you're trying to achieve.

least

Congrats on two months.

ultradad

Congrats on 2 months! What plan of action do you have? Are you working a 12 step program? I know from my experience I could never do it on will power alone and AA has really been a safe-haven for me! You can break that 4 month barrier and make it a life long recovery!

All the best!

Dee74

Congratulations Seanfox

maybe posting here more regularly may help?

D

Verte

Hi Seanfox...congrats on 2months! We are sober buddies in time.

We here on SR can remind you of the greatness of the sober life any time you forget or your brain gets a little tricky.

BTW - any good stories that you can share about Moscow? or good tips for sober business travels in general? Would be so grateful to hear.

Glad to see you back on the forum

Hevyn

Wonderful job on 2 months Seanfox.

That sort of thing happened to me too - but now drinking thoughts rarely cross my mind. It's a habit we fell back on for a long time - we're learning to live in a different way, & it is hard in the beginning. You're doing great.

FeenixxRising

Well done Sean.

GroundhogDay

Congrats!

LBrain

way to stay strong Sean, congrats on 2 months

Seanfox

Thanks everyone.

Hi Ultradad, my plan of action is to change my lifestyle so I'm doing more stuff in the daytime like going on drives to new places, eating in new places and just doing different activities so I'm left with a feeling a lot more satisfied with my days. AA isn't for me but coming on here a lot helps. Thanks for your support.


Thanks Dee I do plan on posting here more, my laptop is currently out if action and it's just easier posting on there than my phone



Thanks LeThe Verte, we got taken to a Russian bathhouse which was an interesting experience. Me and my colleague had to strip down and go in the hottest sauna imaginable whilst some naked Russian man would beat us with tree branches, after this we had to dive into an ice cold pool of water and repeat the original process. Afterwards the main guy ordered lots of food and they all had alcohol but although they seemed weirded out by me drinking water instead of beer they were fine with it and that was the end of it.

On our last evening we got taken on a Moscow river tour of the city, I thought it was going to be a quiet relaxing evening but when I boarded I realised it was some sort of party boat so I panicked a little realising there was no escape. I spied lots of coca cola bottles in the fridge so I just helped myself to them and didn't let anyone get me a drink that I didn't pour. My colleague on the other hand made a total ass out of himself and even played away from his girlfriend back in England which I was disappointed in him for.

I was in Germany this week and on the way back to the eurotunnel they guy I was working with was desperate to find a duty free wine shop in France as I stood I the middle of the shop I just looked around thinking that it was just a room full of poison and he spent €100 just on bottles of wine, he bought 14! And he seemed so happy afterwards, he kept saying how much money he'd saved and I just thought he was bonkers. I think the fact that he kept going on about it was just him trying to convince himself that what he just did was money well spent. Obviously I've spent stupid amounts on alcohol before but seeing it from the other side made me see how crazy the whole alcohol industry is, we all spent fortunes to make ourselves feel sick. It would've been a lot healthier for us to flush money straight down the toilet.

Anyway sorry for rambling and thanks for the support

PurpleKnight

Great job on 2 Months!!

HeadLump

2 months is great, Sean, and there's no reason why you can't just keep on going . . . .

Stoogy

Hey Sean, excellent job on 2 months, you are doing great.