The Beginning
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 55
The Beginning
Hi SR,
I created my account this morning and hope to find support and advice from these forums, so I'll start with a bit of background to me.
My relationship with alcohol is that I use it to hide from problems and feel it's necessary to have a good time when I am out socialising. My boyfriend has warned me a few times about the route I have been taking - he works offshore and is gone for weeks at once so I am alone a lot of the time. Up until Friday night, I had always shrugged his concerns away. I am 22 and to me it seemed like I was only doing what everybody else my age was doing - having a good time and a good drink. However Friday night I drank to excess once more and kissed my best friend's boyfriend. Because my boyfriend understands that I don't think about anything when I drink to excess, he's accepted it for the drunken moment that it was, but my friend has taken it very badly and feels completely betrayed. I realised I can't and shouldn't use being drunk as an excuse for such behaviour, and that my relationship is worth a great deal more than the disrespect I show my boyfriend when drunk.
So after talking to him, I have decided to do something about the drink. He insists he does not mind if I only have a few glasses, but I've told him I can't. I do not possess the control, I always drink to excess.
It seems I have been burying a lot of problems including the recent death of my father (the one man I loved more than anyone or anything) and the loneliness I feel when my boyfriend is away. I am hoping to find other ways to deal with situations like this on here, and thought that by sharing thoughts and stories with people who can understand the complicated relationships alcohol brings I would have the best chance at sobering up and breaking my dependency.
And that is pretty much me.
I created my account this morning and hope to find support and advice from these forums, so I'll start with a bit of background to me.
My relationship with alcohol is that I use it to hide from problems and feel it's necessary to have a good time when I am out socialising. My boyfriend has warned me a few times about the route I have been taking - he works offshore and is gone for weeks at once so I am alone a lot of the time. Up until Friday night, I had always shrugged his concerns away. I am 22 and to me it seemed like I was only doing what everybody else my age was doing - having a good time and a good drink. However Friday night I drank to excess once more and kissed my best friend's boyfriend. Because my boyfriend understands that I don't think about anything when I drink to excess, he's accepted it for the drunken moment that it was, but my friend has taken it very badly and feels completely betrayed. I realised I can't and shouldn't use being drunk as an excuse for such behaviour, and that my relationship is worth a great deal more than the disrespect I show my boyfriend when drunk.
So after talking to him, I have decided to do something about the drink. He insists he does not mind if I only have a few glasses, but I've told him I can't. I do not possess the control, I always drink to excess.
It seems I have been burying a lot of problems including the recent death of my father (the one man I loved more than anyone or anything) and the loneliness I feel when my boyfriend is away. I am hoping to find other ways to deal with situations like this on here, and thought that by sharing thoughts and stories with people who can understand the complicated relationships alcohol brings I would have the best chance at sobering up and breaking my dependency.
And that is pretty much me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi and welcome Prynne 
I did many things I'm not proud of when drunk. The flipside of that is now I live a life I can indeed be proud of, and all I had to do to start that process was give up alcohol
Come and join us
D
I did many things I'm not proud of when drunk. The flipside of that is now I live a life I can indeed be proud of, and all I had to do to start that process was give up alcohol
Come and join us
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Hampshire
Posts: 20
hi Pynne,
welcome to the forum. I wish I'd had the maturity at 22 to see the direction my life was heading, I could have saved my family a whole heap of heartache. I finally quit a few months ago and I feel loneliness was a major contributor to my continued alcohol abuse. It stopped being fun about 15 years ago but I stuck with it regardless. I guess you could describe me as stubborn.
Hopefully you will stick around, make some friends and keep posting whenever that lonely feeling arrives.
ATB
Mark
welcome to the forum. I wish I'd had the maturity at 22 to see the direction my life was heading, I could have saved my family a whole heap of heartache. I finally quit a few months ago and I feel loneliness was a major contributor to my continued alcohol abuse. It stopped being fun about 15 years ago but I stuck with it regardless. I guess you could describe me as stubborn.
Hopefully you will stick around, make some friends and keep posting whenever that lonely feeling arrives.
ATB
Mark
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
Wow, I started drinking when you were born, 22 years ago.
Right now I have 90 days in a row without any mood-altering substances. The first 2 months happened with a promise to stay sober "just for today" and then another promise the next day and the next.
Anyway, welcome. If sobriety is what you desire you are in the right place.
Right now I have 90 days in a row without any mood-altering substances. The first 2 months happened with a promise to stay sober "just for today" and then another promise the next day and the next.
Anyway, welcome. If sobriety is what you desire you are in the right place.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 55
Thank you for your warm welcomes! The plan so far is definitely to stick around, have a good read, and interact with people who understand where it is that I am coming from. I feel this is the biggest hurdle with my friends and family as they cannot understand why it is that I act the way I do. They don't understand the loss of control involved with drinking. Unfortunately the one person who would have understood was my father who had many drink demons over the years, but now that he's gone I have decided the best place to start my journey would be here.
I hope I get to know you all more over time.
I hope I get to know you all more over time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and good for you in recognizing something that can easily take you places no one wants to go. IF you’re an alcoholic it’s best to accept that it will never get any better that today and the progression can be very fast so now is the time to work on things that usually don’t bother us because of our situations.
I needed to accept that I could not have a first drink in safety. It always led to too many. This forum can be very helpful if we use it when needed.
I reached out to AA many years ago and don’t regret the results of my recovery, it’s great to feel comfortable in my own skin, most of the time. It involves work and takes time but I’m not looking up at the grass roots, yet.
BE WELL
I needed to accept that I could not have a first drink in safety. It always led to too many. This forum can be very helpful if we use it when needed.
I reached out to AA many years ago and don’t regret the results of my recovery, it’s great to feel comfortable in my own skin, most of the time. It involves work and takes time but I’m not looking up at the grass roots, yet.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 741
Prynne, Welcome!
I am also new and just 3 days sober bit when I real your story it sounded so familiar. I am dealing (or not dealing with) the death of my sister. She was my only sister so I know it's something more that u need other that alcohol treatment . What I realized was that I need to find better ways to cope with the ups and downs of life. I think identifying positive and productive coding methods would help a great deal in both my and your overall recovery
I am also new and just 3 days sober bit when I real your story it sounded so familiar. I am dealing (or not dealing with) the death of my sister. She was my only sister so I know it's something more that u need other that alcohol treatment . What I realized was that I need to find better ways to cope with the ups and downs of life. I think identifying positive and productive coding methods would help a great deal in both my and your overall recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 55
Thank you all! In a strange way it actually feels comforting to know that there are people out there who understand this situation. I already feel accepted here.
I thought I had been coping but in hindsight I was burying my feelings and then covering it over with a thick layer of alcohol. I'm finding out the hard way that grief is a very funny thing and hopefully we will both be able to find ways of getting through this difficult period! I know my father certainly would not have wanted me to hide in the bottom of a bottle - you're right in saying we need to identify positive coping methods. I'm here to talk anytime.
Originally Posted by EJM824 
Prynne, Welcome!
I am also new and just 3 days sober bit when I real your story it sounded so familiar. I am dealing (or not dealing with) the death of my sister. She was my only sister so I know it's something more that u need other that alcohol treatment . What I realized was that I need to find better ways to cope with the ups and downs of life. I think identifying positive and productive coding methods would help a great deal in both my and your overall recovery
I am also new and just 3 days sober bit when I real your story it sounded so familiar. I am dealing (or not dealing with) the death of my sister. She was my only sister so I know it's something more that u need other that alcohol treatment . What I realized was that I need to find better ways to cope with the ups and downs of life. I think identifying positive and productive coding methods would help a great deal in both my and your overall recovery
You're absolutely accepted here and are with people who understand and who care Gl@ss Artist & Cat Lady
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 880
We have all made mistakes when drunk that we regret later. The good thing is that you want to make a change! WELCOME to this wonderful family. You will find hope, love, and all the support you need here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 379
Welcome to SR Prynne, so glad you joined. I relate to everything you said, and have been there many times. Well done for realising you have a problem and making the decision to to something about it - it took me years of the behaviour you describe to admit to myself that there was something wrong.
So sorry to hear about the death of your father. Mine died too recently. It's so tough. You are making a decision he would be very proud of
So sorry to hear about the death of your father. Mine died too recently. It's so tough. You are making a decision he would be very proud of
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 55
Thank you all.
I would hope that my Dad would be proud of this decision. I've done some stupid things (as we all have) but I'm determined to keep the past in the past. I'm lucky that I have a supportive boyfriend, but even luckier to have stumbled across this forum. I can already see that this place is going to be a massive saviour when he's away.
I would hope that my Dad would be proud of this decision. I've done some stupid things (as we all have) but I'm determined to keep the past in the past. I'm lucky that I have a supportive boyfriend, but even luckier to have stumbled across this forum. I can already see that this place is going to be a massive saviour when he's away.
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
Originally Posted by Prynne
Thank you all.
I would hope that my Dad would be proud of this decision. I've done some stupid things (as we all have) but I'm determined to keep the past in the past. I'm lucky that I have a supportive boyfriend, but even luckier to have stumbled across this forum. I can already see that this place is going to be a massive saviour when he's away.
I would hope that my Dad would be proud of this decision. I've done some stupid things (as we all have) but I'm determined to keep the past in the past. I'm lucky that I have a supportive boyfriend, but even luckier to have stumbled across this forum. I can already see that this place is going to be a massive saviour when he's away.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 55
I'm currently feeling pretty crappy about the other night when I got drunk. There's over three weeks left until my boyfriend comes home to me. This is usually the point where I would pour myself a wine, instead I'm trying to accept that these are consequences of my actions. Time is a healer. I will not need the drink.
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