Waterfalls2014

Hi, I just want to introduce myself. I'm an alcoholic. Wow. I've never said that before. My life is holding on by a shred. Any day I can screw things up and I know it. I'm a 44 year old female. I've been drinking for 30 years. I've managed to hold down a great job and raise a beautiful family. But my addiction has ME worn out. I'm tired and sick of walking around acting like nothing is wrong while I feel like crap 90% of my life. I'm sick of puking in the middle of the night. I'm sick and tired of being sick. I'm sick to think of those I've lost. Murders, overdoses. I want to live. Please tell me how you hang on so strong.

Waterfalls2014

Wah nobody wants to talk to me

LBrain

welcome whyme, it's the getting through life and surviving while drinking that is the curse. Because eventually it catches up with you. It seems now is your time. What keeps me hanging on so strong is the remembrance of my past. And the fact that I don't ever want to be like that again. So I made a promise to myself that I would never drink again. Sure I went to a rehab and went to meetings and all that. The bottom line is that I was ready - and needed - to quit. Once I accepted that fact, the rest was easy. I wouldn't say real easy because there were times I wanted to have a drink. But I stuck to my guns and swore off drinking. And that's the bottom line. No matter what program, AA AVRT/RR or other self-help/improvement alcohol fixer uppers or whatever, until you are ready and determined to quit for good no program is going to help. Once you make that commitment then you can seek out and choose your method. Give AA a try. It's a good place to start.

Dee74

Hi whyme

Don't take it personally - this is the downtime when most folks are either going to bed or already asleep.

None of us are superheroes. We're ordinary people just like you

we just lean on each other and get through, day by day in the beginning if that's what it takes

welcome aboard

D

Waterfalls2014

I'm 6 days clean and I've been reading blogs a lot over the past few days. I read one where a lady was only 2 days clean. Another lady came on and said she was 8 years clean but jealous of the girl who was 2 days clean. Because the girl only 2 days clean was younger and had an opportunity to live a sober life at a younger age and live those lost years. Talk about a wake up call. That lady said it's a great life and it can be yours. That's been in my mind. It's never been out out there like that to me. We get one chance right.

Verte

Hey Whyme,

Living life with my eyes open. That's what the past few months have felt like. We have to be ready for it and it sounds like you are. Live each day. Keep reading and posting...it is so helpful. Lat's make this happen

Welcome to the forum!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum whyme!!

I was sleeping on the other side of the Atlantic!!

Great to have you onboard, you'll find loads of support here on SR!!

SixSongs

Welcome, we want to talk.

shakeel

As mentioned above, if you are ready for this new chapter of your life, I would suggest some kind of program of recovery. AA is a good start, not just the meetings but reading the book of alcoholics anonymous, working the steps with a sponsor. It will give you a different outlook on things, enable you to do a self inventory which you would have never tried to do otherwise.

DisplacedGRITS

Welcome to SR! I've found that I need a combination of things in my life to help me live a life where I don't need to drink. I have a psych and am on some medications, I post and read here on SR daily, I'm a meeting going, 12 step working, sponsor calling member of AA and I have embraced honesty, truth and acceptance in my life. I've tried to get sober in many different ways. The best way I've found to get sober, stay sober and be sane and even happy is to take the advice of people who have what I want.

I hope you find the support and advice you're looking for here. SR is an amazing community and it's great to have you as a part of it!

KAD

Hi, and welcome. It's not been smooth sailing for most of us, least of all for me. A whole lot of stops and starts, but what has not changed is this determination to make it stick for once and for all. If drinking was so much fun, I wouldn't keep craving sobriety more. I wouldn't keep coming to places like this for help and support. We know our enemy, and it lives inside us. We have the power to control it, but it often takes outside help to do that. There are lots of resources here at SR you can explore to get that help, whether its AA, RR, CBT, counseling, etc. For the first time, I'm serious about getting help from others instead of keeping my drinking and my recovery secretive. It's kept me from feeling accountable for anything if I don't reach out. The first person I reached out to was my doctor. You can do this. Anybody can.

ultradad

Welcome!

I'm a 45 year old alcoholic and my life was in shambles and have come close a few times of losing EVERYTHING dear to me...you asked so I'll tell you; Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is how I hang on! It's truly saved my life! Check it out, there is recovery and you never have to feel this way again!

Nonsensical

Hanging on together helps. At first I felt like I was hanging on with both hands and still losing my grip - that's when I felt the other hands here at SR and the meetings I attended helping to hold me in place.

After a while you feel it getting easier and you have a free hand to lend to someone in need.

It is an insipid, dirty, treacherous addiction. We all have to fight it for ourselves, but no one has to fight it alone.

Welcome.