Dee74

I'm not sticking up for this guy at all..

but there was only ever one reason I met someone in a bar on a Friday.

Meeting people in cafes for a coffee date takes any misinterpretations right out of the picture.

D

countrysidegirl

He sounds like the cxxt
Steer clear of him.in.the future you don't need people like that when your in recovery...

Maybe he has issues himself with drink hence his aggressive and defensive behaviour?

Either way well done ben you did real good

Charlotte

KAD

Definitely just lost his friend card. Good for you for standing your ground!

Lola23

What a jerk. Nice job staying strong!

Anna

Absolutely!

MrBen

Well I understand him getting me a beer. Like I said, that's fine. But once I explained the situation I assumed he would respect that.

I think a lot of people are having trouble with the whole me meeting people at bars thing. Look, a lot of people I know work at bars and hang out there, since I've been sober I still go to bars/pubs. It's just a place to talk and play a game of pool.

Maybe it's different for others but people drinking in front of me simply doesn't affect me. I always drank really heavily at home, if anything, that's where I get tempted.

I've had half a dozen instances of people I know asking if I wanted a beer and me saying no, explaining to them if I felt comfortable and knew them well enough, then I'd order my diet coke, talk and let them get on with their night.

I'm not giving up my social life because I stopped drinking. Sometimes they'll want to meet at a bar and that's OK. I'm not going to deny my girlfriend a glass of wine after work because I can't drink wine. If it was the difference between drinking or not drinking as it may be for some people then I would but it isn't.

Dee74

I understand that you feel this is ok for you.
I'm just sharing my experience that that approach didn't work for me.

The Australian culture is not that different to the UK, in fact it may be worse.

There are still many places where you can meet have fun and hang out with friends outside bars.

I think that's a pretty important bit of information to get across to people who may be reading

D

MrBen

I understand that, I'm not suggesting anyone who finds bars or other people drinking a trigger to be in that situation. Don't. Avoid any triggers at all costs. I've cut out tv shows, even certain albums that I'd want to drink to.

Everybody's just different I guess.

Bars are just not a trigger for me. I was a lone drinker, in fact, I'd leave social situations to be alone and watch TV and drink.

I didn't know you were Australian, for some reason I always thought you were American. I've been there a couple of times and I think you're right about the culture, except we don't drink outside because the cold will leave us freezing in our ill advised short sleeved shirts.