Not perfect but feeling more positive
 

Hi all,

I'm in the process of starting my second attempt at becoming sober. I managed 8 months up to summer last year and then unfortunatley slipped back into my old ways. So for the last 7 or 8 months I have been drinking again and it has progressively gotten worse to the point where my drinking has escalated to a daily occurance. My drinking eventually led me back here this week.

So I would say my journey, all one week of it, has been better but not perfect. I have been drinking but insted of everyday it's only been 2 days this week. I know that's not great but believe me it's a massive improvement from where I was. This week I have also learned a lot about myself. I am hearing and noticing my inner voice or alcohol voice. Unfortunatley my AV has won on two occasions but I'm on to it now and hopefully I won't be tricked again. The one big plus that I have found this week is that on the days I did not drink I felt so much better. I was not paranoid, moody or tired. Those negative traits were replaced with a feeling of hope, pride and energy.

So even though I have slipped a little this week I can definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel and through my vigilance and determination I think can beat my demons.

Whatsgoingon --

That's great. I hope you can regulate your drinking so it doesn't become a problem for you. Thanks for sharing and I hope you keep coming back and posting often about your progress.

:You_Rock_

I never really understood the "progressive" part of this until my last binge in May. Then when I was really honest with myself and looked back at the last 3.5 years I saw how it progressed. I was sober for 18mths in 2010/2011...then started "moderating"...and I was able to (at times)...but the last year...when I actually thought about it...I can see now how the binges were getting closer and longer and worse. It also started seeping into my work life and eventually landed me a 2nd DUI on Mothers day. That last relapse, I didn't see coming at all. I hadn't drank for 6 weeks prior to that. It was so bad, that to this day, I STILL have no recollection of even purchasing the wine. Not one single memory.
scary eh?

hang in and keep posting. This truly is a sneaky, conniving, PATIENT disease. It lies. It hides. It makes you think you have it under it control, when in reality, no you don't. Being vigilant is my top priority now. Cuz this thing will ambush you with no warning!

Welcome back, whatsgoing on :hug: Glad you're back and trying again :)

Welcome back!! :)