Faltering...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
Faltering...
ARGHH....its been 16 days and I've been doing really well.
Today I'm having dinner at a great restaurant with my sister and her husband whom I adore. I've arrived early to the neighborhood the restaurant is in and all I can think about is that I would usually go saddle up to a bar and enjoy a few drinks before the rest of the group arrived.
I'm having serious thoughts of how good a glass of wine would be with our nice, fancy dinner. Just one drink? how can that hurt? But even if I DO just have a couple tonight, that means I will drink tomorrow (especially b/c I'm taking the day off tomorrow), and of course, then what will stop me over the weekend??
Been walking around and everyone is sitting outside and enjoying a nice cold glass of beer or white wine. Why can't I? Because I made a commitment, that's why. I made a promise to myself that I won't.
Ok, I'm going to read some posts, breathe, and will get through this. BTW -- my sister and BIL will in no way pressure me, they won't care one way or the other.
UGHHH...the first serious craving or feeling that I was going to slip.
Today I'm having dinner at a great restaurant with my sister and her husband whom I adore. I've arrived early to the neighborhood the restaurant is in and all I can think about is that I would usually go saddle up to a bar and enjoy a few drinks before the rest of the group arrived.
I'm having serious thoughts of how good a glass of wine would be with our nice, fancy dinner. Just one drink? how can that hurt? But even if I DO just have a couple tonight, that means I will drink tomorrow (especially b/c I'm taking the day off tomorrow), and of course, then what will stop me over the weekend??
Been walking around and everyone is sitting outside and enjoying a nice cold glass of beer or white wine. Why can't I? Because I made a commitment, that's why. I made a promise to myself that I won't.
Ok, I'm going to read some posts, breathe, and will get through this. BTW -- my sister and BIL will in no way pressure me, they won't care one way or the other.
UGHHH...the first serious craving or feeling that I was going to slip.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi Lola
the best thing I can suggest is play the tape through - remember were that one glass of wine can take you.
The second best thing I can suggest is make it easy on yourself - maybe avoid situations like this for a little while longer?
Go out by all means but maybe pick an alcohol free type of situation next time?
D
the best thing I can suggest is play the tape through - remember were that one glass of wine can take you.
The second best thing I can suggest is make it easy on yourself - maybe avoid situations like this for a little while longer?
Go out by all means but maybe pick an alcohol free type of situation next time?
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
You already know where it goes you'll do well tonight or not feel like you tricked the system, then after that you will have no reason to be sober any night.
Feel better about yourself tomorrow morning after a great night out a good meal and keep the whole hope that life will some day be as good if not better without.
If its just hanging dry for a time until you drink you will always find it difficult to truly enjoy the benefits of sobriety rather than the benefits of not drinking.
Go on get a stool and order a tonic and enjoy , the evening is yours for the taking.
16 days 17 would be better.
John
Feel better about yourself tomorrow morning after a great night out a good meal and keep the whole hope that life will some day be as good if not better without.
If its just hanging dry for a time until you drink you will always find it difficult to truly enjoy the benefits of sobriety rather than the benefits of not drinking.
Go on get a stool and order a tonic and enjoy , the evening is yours for the taking.
16 days 17 would be better.
John
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
As Dee said, play the tape through, both ways. If you don't drink, how will you feel later tonight and tomorrow morning? Will you be proud of yourself for staying strong? Glad you didn't drink? Will you wake up tomorrow clear-headed and ready to take on the day?
Skip the drink; go to bed sober, and wake up feeling proud tomorrow. Passing on a glass or two of wine is not a big deal--just do it.
Skip the drink; go to bed sober, and wake up feeling proud tomorrow. Passing on a glass or two of wine is not a big deal--just do it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Good for you for getting 16 days sober.
To be honest, I couldn't have done what you are planning. Even if I had gotten through the evening, I would have been out the next day looking for more.
To be honest, I couldn't have done what you are planning. Even if I had gotten through the evening, I would have been out the next day looking for more.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
how can one drink hurt?
it hurts because it means the option was and is on the table.
the option of drinking, not of the quantity of the drinking.
just because you have a craving doesn't mean it needs to follow that you entertain the thought of actually drinking.
sixteen days is great! keep going!
it hurts because it means the option was and is on the table.
the option of drinking, not of the quantity of the drinking.
just because you have a craving doesn't mean it needs to follow that you entertain the thought of actually drinking.
sixteen days is great! keep going!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Southern California
Posts: 66
WOW! I can't wait til I get 16 days. It's been about 12 years since I had that kind of time! Good for you. Whatever you decided to do this evening, I'm so happy for you that you got 16 days. I know that disappointing feeling of getting the thought, back to the old grind of should I shouldn't I? I hate that more than anything. That is why I would always give in and not even fight. I hate the battle.
You seem like you may be younger than I, but maybe not? If so, I wish I had the last 20 years back of saying 'no' on those nice nights out when having a glass of wine seemed glamorous and fun, or just hip or whatever, however I saw it. I wish I had those 20 years back to be a non drinker, you know, those people that have iced tea at the nice restaurant and are having a great time and enjoying their desert and coffee rather than eating small parts of their meal so they can drink more and not have the food and dessert get in the way of the buzz! LOL! I wish I had those wasted years back. Maybe think about that. For me one more night of wine led to another 20 years of it, and it was not fun and glamorous. It was a ball and chain. I ended up a mom with her Chardonnay in the closet, ashamed and chunky and tired all the time. I managed it so I could keep it. I hope you don't choose that. I didn't know I was choosing that, but that is where it led. Now I'm 3.5 days for the hundredth time and hoping I make it out this time to be the lady at the nice restaurant that orders Perrier and enjoys her desert and coffee and doesn't have to have her wine at her kids' baby showers and weddings. Bleh. I pray I don't end up there.
Hang in there!
You seem like you may be younger than I, but maybe not? If so, I wish I had the last 20 years back of saying 'no' on those nice nights out when having a glass of wine seemed glamorous and fun, or just hip or whatever, however I saw it. I wish I had those 20 years back to be a non drinker, you know, those people that have iced tea at the nice restaurant and are having a great time and enjoying their desert and coffee rather than eating small parts of their meal so they can drink more and not have the food and dessert get in the way of the buzz! LOL! I wish I had those wasted years back. Maybe think about that. For me one more night of wine led to another 20 years of it, and it was not fun and glamorous. It was a ball and chain. I ended up a mom with her Chardonnay in the closet, ashamed and chunky and tired all the time. I managed it so I could keep it. I hope you don't choose that. I didn't know I was choosing that, but that is where it led. Now I'm 3.5 days for the hundredth time and hoping I make it out this time to be the lady at the nice restaurant that orders Perrier and enjoys her desert and coffee and doesn't have to have her wine at her kids' baby showers and weddings. Bleh. I pray I don't end up there.
Hang in there!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
How could one drink hurt? It won't be one drink and done.
I will catapult you right back into this....
"Flash forward to today, and I drink every day, at least a bottle but most of the time two. Also started adding vodka to the mix last year. The last time I went a day without drinking was the day before Thanksgiving, when I was with my parents and there was nothing in the house. That was a rough day.
Drinking for me now begins when I leave work, whether that's 3pm b/c I left early, or 9pm b/c I left late. Either way, I drink until I go to sleep (ie, pass out on my couch), and wake up in a fog. Weekends, I generally am just drinking all day. "
You want this all to end right?
I will catapult you right back into this....
"Flash forward to today, and I drink every day, at least a bottle but most of the time two. Also started adding vodka to the mix last year. The last time I went a day without drinking was the day before Thanksgiving, when I was with my parents and there was nothing in the house. That was a rough day.
Drinking for me now begins when I leave work, whether that's 3pm b/c I left early, or 9pm b/c I left late. Either way, I drink until I go to sleep (ie, pass out on my couch), and wake up in a fog. Weekends, I generally am just drinking all day. "
You want this all to end right?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
Thank you to EVERYONE for your replies. I read every post..more than once. Snuck away to the restroom to read.
Made it through the night with no problem once my sister arrived. As soon as she got there, she said we should check out the upstairs bar b/c the room is gorgeous. And as soon as we walked up I blurted out, almost panicky.."I'm not drinking!!" Ha, I just about shouted in her face. She simply said "oh yea? That's good. I might have a wine"....and then we just walked around and checked out the space...which, no lie, was beautiful. And the rest of the evening, I enjoyed wonderful food with my refreshing glass of sparkling water with cranberry.
I won't sugar coat it, it was tough there before dinner. However, as several of you said, I kept replaying the "tape" of what would happen if I drank, and I didn't want that.
I have to say though I don't feel quite "proud" of myself this morning. I feel good that I didn't drink, and woke up clear headed, but in some weird way I have a bit of shame that this is something I had to WORK on. That its still tough for me, when it's just normal to everyone else. I feel ashamed that I let myself get to a point that NOT pouring a bottle of wine or two down my throat on a random Thursday is some sort of victory. Just part of what I have to work through I suppose.
Again, thanks for the support guys. SR has been a lifeline for me, and really came through yesterday. I have a few things I want to work on in my head over the next few days so I think I'm going to be posting here a bit through the weekend
Made it through the night with no problem once my sister arrived. As soon as she got there, she said we should check out the upstairs bar b/c the room is gorgeous. And as soon as we walked up I blurted out, almost panicky.."I'm not drinking!!" Ha, I just about shouted in her face. She simply said "oh yea? That's good. I might have a wine"....and then we just walked around and checked out the space...which, no lie, was beautiful. And the rest of the evening, I enjoyed wonderful food with my refreshing glass of sparkling water with cranberry.
I won't sugar coat it, it was tough there before dinner. However, as several of you said, I kept replaying the "tape" of what would happen if I drank, and I didn't want that.
I have to say though I don't feel quite "proud" of myself this morning. I feel good that I didn't drink, and woke up clear headed, but in some weird way I have a bit of shame that this is something I had to WORK on. That its still tough for me, when it's just normal to everyone else. I feel ashamed that I let myself get to a point that NOT pouring a bottle of wine or two down my throat on a random Thursday is some sort of victory. Just part of what I have to work through I suppose.
Again, thanks for the support guys. SR has been a lifeline for me, and really came through yesterday. I have a few things I want to work on in my head over the next few days so I think I'm going to be posting here a bit through the weekend
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by Lola23 
I feel good that I didn't drink, and woke up clear headed, but in some weird way I have a bit of shame that this is something I had to WORK on.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Lower Chute
Posts: 33
Well Done! You would not believe the amount of times I'd had that internal battle, and given in every single time. The feeling of self loathing afterwards is never worth it, but is never enough of a deterrent either.
Very proud that you made it, very jealous that you felt so good this morning!! And please dont feel shame, so you have to work on it - so what? Chances are everyone on this planet has something they have to work on.
Difference is - you are brave enough to tell other people (on this forum) And that is huge in my book.
Well Done.
Very proud that you made it, very jealous that you felt so good this morning!! And please dont feel shame, so you have to work on it - so what? Chances are everyone on this planet has something they have to work on.
Difference is - you are brave enough to tell other people (on this forum) And that is huge in my book.
Well Done.
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