I feel lost
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Originally Posted by bigsombrero 
heck, you have a lot of knowledge to share with a newcomer, 300+ days is nothing to sneeze at...Change is tough, but sometimes it's more dangerous not to make a change, if that makes sense.
Just considering that you want to go to rehab to be in a safe environment is a huge step in a great direction. Our brains are so powerful and tricky sometimes, aren't they? Nice job asking a friend to help you get help.
You are doing this!! Finding support that works is really challenging and you are doing it. Go easy on yourself and please stick around. You have so much to offer everyone and we all have so much to learn
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by JenMHall
Update: went to a meeting, it was really small, just 7 of us there. I was so nervous, my hands are still shaking. I have anxiety issues anyway, and trying to go a meeting on my own was really hard for me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Jen, you have done a very brave thing by reaching out for help and by returning to AA. I am about 300 days sober myself and I have still not mustered the courage to walk through the door of an AA meeting. So don't sell yourself short.
Good luck on your sober journey. I am glad that you are here with us.
Good luck on your sober journey. I am glad that you are here with us.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
You did great going to your meeting mate.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
If giving up drinking forever more was so easy there would be no need for rehabs, detox, AA and forums like this would not exist.
I don't know if I am wrong but you sound quite isolated and lonely.
I know when I am bad - drink, feeling down, anxious, worried - I isolate myself.
The longer I keep away from other people, the harder it gets to go out and talk to people and try and be a member of society again.
I even struggle going for petrol or to the supermarket.
I think drink and anxiety often go hand in hand.
There are many, many of us here who suffer the same as you and understand. Never feel alone or feel ashamed.
I find my anxiety quite unpredictable too.
One day I can be fine, the next I am like a quivering wreck.
Are you in the UK or elsewhere?
Can you go to your GP or even contact your rehab and explain that you are struggling?
I found when I was at my worst, that setting myself a small challenge everyday helped me.
For example one day, I would go for a quick 10 minute walk and buy a newspaper. Or drive to somewhere nice and buy a cup of tea or an ice cream.
I didn't speak to anyone, but just getting away from the four walls I imprisoned myself in helped me.
As a I got more confident, I did more.
The AA meeting a few doors down sounds heaven sent for you to be honest!
Perhaps you get more involved with setting chairs out before the meeting, making coffee. You could even bake something to take there for everyone to eat.
Doing that might make you go even more, if you know you will be useful there.
Will you make me a promise that you will keep coming back here and posting and reading.
We all care and we all understand.
I really, really wish you the best
xxxx
Don't be so hard on yourself.
If giving up drinking forever more was so easy there would be no need for rehabs, detox, AA and forums like this would not exist.
I don't know if I am wrong but you sound quite isolated and lonely.
I know when I am bad - drink, feeling down, anxious, worried - I isolate myself.
The longer I keep away from other people, the harder it gets to go out and talk to people and try and be a member of society again.
I even struggle going for petrol or to the supermarket.
I think drink and anxiety often go hand in hand.
There are many, many of us here who suffer the same as you and understand. Never feel alone or feel ashamed.
I find my anxiety quite unpredictable too.
One day I can be fine, the next I am like a quivering wreck.
Are you in the UK or elsewhere?
Can you go to your GP or even contact your rehab and explain that you are struggling?
I found when I was at my worst, that setting myself a small challenge everyday helped me.
For example one day, I would go for a quick 10 minute walk and buy a newspaper. Or drive to somewhere nice and buy a cup of tea or an ice cream.
I didn't speak to anyone, but just getting away from the four walls I imprisoned myself in helped me.
As a I got more confident, I did more.
The AA meeting a few doors down sounds heaven sent for you to be honest!
Perhaps you get more involved with setting chairs out before the meeting, making coffee. You could even bake something to take there for everyone to eat.
Doing that might make you go even more, if you know you will be useful there.
Will you make me a promise that you will keep coming back here and posting and reading.
We all care and we all understand.
I really, really wish you the best
xxxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
Sasha4, this sounds so familiar. When I get too stressed or anxious, I just want to climb into a corner and be left alone. Drinking made it worse and worse each time, without ever wanting to climb out again. I agree we should put ourselves out there and talk to others. I reached out to someone new in the area today and felt it was very welcome. For an intravert like me it was quite a step. Good luck Jen, you can do it, one little step at a time!
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