Holiday Anxiety
One Day At A Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 561
Holiday Anxiety
Hi folks 
In just over a week I am going away on holiday to a villa for 2 weeks with family and friends. I'm really looking to it, however my concern is I'm just coming up for 2 months sober. It is in Portugal in quite an isolated area, so no AA and no SR (no WiFi where we are staying.) There will be alcohol about, and I am just concerned - naturally. Me drinking would ruin it for everyone. I'm happy sober and drinking just isn't an option for me. However I'm trying to be realistic and prepare myself for if any urges come in.
Does anyone have any advice for things I can do to keep my sobriety strong while I am away?
Thanks
In just over a week I am going away on holiday to a villa for 2 weeks with family and friends. I'm really looking to it, however my concern is I'm just coming up for 2 months sober. It is in Portugal in quite an isolated area, so no AA and no SR (no WiFi where we are staying.) There will be alcohol about, and I am just concerned - naturally. Me drinking would ruin it for everyone. I'm happy sober and drinking just isn't an option for me. However I'm trying to be realistic and prepare myself for if any urges come in.
Does anyone have any advice for things I can do to keep my sobriety strong while I am away?
Thanks
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Gee.
normal day to day early recovery is hard enough.
This is a heck of a task to ask at 60 days Try.
But...it's not impossible
Supports great but in the end it's each of us that does the work.
You've been doing the work for 2 months now.
It may not be possible to do it with grace all the time you're away, but if you're committed to doing all you can to ensure your recovery you can do, you can stay sober
Remember that we're all with you, and that you're the one with the final say on what you do.
Be who you want to be - be a non drinker
It's the first drink that ruins everything.
Have a great safe and happy sober holiday Try18!
D
normal day to day early recovery is hard enough.
This is a heck of a task to ask at 60 days Try.
But...it's not impossible
Supports great but in the end it's each of us that does the work.
You've been doing the work for 2 months now.
It may not be possible to do it with grace all the time you're away, but if you're committed to doing all you can to ensure your recovery you can do, you can stay sober
Remember that we're all with you, and that you're the one with the final say on what you do.
Be who you want to be - be a non drinker
It's the first drink that ruins everything.
Have a great safe and happy sober holiday Try18!
D
One Day At A Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 561
Thanks for the support My family all know I'm in recovery, there's no way they would ever let me drink.
I've found an English speaking AA meeting which I'm going to get to. Better one meeting than none at all. I'm hoping I can find somewhere to log in here even just briefly as its a big support to me.
My family all know I'm in recovery, there's no way they would ever let me drink. I've found an English speaking AA meeting which I'm going to get to. Better one meeting than none at all. I'm hoping I can find somewhere to log in here even just briefly as its a big support to me.
One Day At A Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 561
I'm wonder how to keep myself on the straight and narrow on a daily basis. Hopefully I'll be too busy enjoying my holiday to be preoccupied with thoughts of drinking, but more than well aware that it's a sneak and creeps in when I least expect it, and need to be on guard.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Try! 
I would take some things with you to occupy your mind. Games, books, journal. If you are familiar with the area, plan an exit to take a stroll if you need some alone time. Maybe give your ID/cash/debit card what have you with someone you trust to hold them. Something sweet if your sweet tooth acts up?
You can do this!!
I would take some things with you to occupy your mind. Games, books, journal. If you are familiar with the area, plan an exit to take a stroll if you need some alone time. Maybe give your ID/cash/debit card what have you with someone you trust to hold them. Something sweet if your sweet tooth acts up?
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I've just come back from my 5th sober holiday.
It's not that bad or hard.
I did a villa and the other 4 were all inclusive.
One of the biggest observations I made was not everyone, in fact virtually no-one drank like me.
Most people drank a few drinks, a few beers or a few glasses of wine.
No-one was reeling drunk.
Some people did not even finish their drinks!!! That really shocked me. People left booze?!!!!
I realised i must have stuck out like a sore thumb for being so drunk as no-one got like I did.
My coping strategies over the 2 years have included
1. I reminded myself that no-one was forcing me to do this, it was my choice. I could have a drink whenever I wanted to. I was just not choosing not to drink.
2. I decided I would take as many nice pictures as I could so I could share them. If things got stressful, I would take myself off and take photo's elsewhere. I would go for a walk and take my camera.
3. I took it day by day. I never got into thoughts like 5 more days to go, or 2 more days to go. I just woke up every morning and said to myself today I am not drinking.
4. I did not get into the habit of sitting around with other drinkers after a meal and consume booze for hours. I would get busy and help tidy away, make a fruit salad, make tea and coffee, take my daughter off to play, take more photo's, come here and read.
5. I drank about 100 hot chocolates with lots of sugar and enjoyed everyone. It also meant my blood sugar and energy levels were good, so I was not irritable or craving booze.
6. Everyday I got through without a drink, I gave myself a pat on the back and a well done.
Now I could not imagine drinking all day everyday on holiday.
I am glad I no longer watch the clock until it's 11am or an acceptable time to have a first beer or drink.
Try not to stress too much, you might find it easier than you think.
I wish you the best xx
It's not that bad or hard.
I did a villa and the other 4 were all inclusive.
One of the biggest observations I made was not everyone, in fact virtually no-one drank like me.
Most people drank a few drinks, a few beers or a few glasses of wine.
No-one was reeling drunk.
Some people did not even finish their drinks!!! That really shocked me. People left booze?!!!!
I realised i must have stuck out like a sore thumb for being so drunk as no-one got like I did.
My coping strategies over the 2 years have included
1. I reminded myself that no-one was forcing me to do this, it was my choice. I could have a drink whenever I wanted to. I was just not choosing not to drink.
2. I decided I would take as many nice pictures as I could so I could share them. If things got stressful, I would take myself off and take photo's elsewhere. I would go for a walk and take my camera.
3. I took it day by day. I never got into thoughts like 5 more days to go, or 2 more days to go. I just woke up every morning and said to myself today I am not drinking.
4. I did not get into the habit of sitting around with other drinkers after a meal and consume booze for hours. I would get busy and help tidy away, make a fruit salad, make tea and coffee, take my daughter off to play, take more photo's, come here and read.
5. I drank about 100 hot chocolates with lots of sugar and enjoyed everyone. It also meant my blood sugar and energy levels were good, so I was not irritable or craving booze.
6. Everyday I got through without a drink, I gave myself a pat on the back and a well done.
Now I could not imagine drinking all day everyday on holiday.
I am glad I no longer watch the clock until it's 11am or an acceptable time to have a first beer or drink.
Try not to stress too much, you might find it easier than you think.
I wish you the best xx
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
I keep Jolly Ranchers on my person at all times. They're in my purse, in my car, in my jacket pocket, in my pants pocket....everywhere! I often find that if i'm feeling irritable, i pop a JR in my mouth and i often feel better. I mean, whatever crap is going on, i have a piece of candy so at least i've got that going for me!
I'm on 3 months now and i have a few things that work for me.
I don't participate in activities where booze is heavily used for enjoyment. I don't enjoy get togethers where alcohol plays a central role. Now, these events don't come up often in my life. It used to seem like every event i went to had a heavy alcohol component but, well, they did because of my drinking. Now that i don't drink, i am amazed by how many people don't drink at events i always drank at.
As mentioned above, my sobriety is my choice. Nothing can force me to drink. Illness, death, anger, frustration, boredom, happiness...nothing i experience can be improved upon by drinking. Recently, i got really angry and frustrated at my husband. This happened about 30 seconds before i was standing in front of a grocery cooler looking at sodas and teas. To the left was a ton of craft beers, all singles. So easy to buy one and slip it in my purse. For a moment, i thought about how sorry i'd make my husband for upsetting me. Wow. That passed quickly as i'm able now to see how insane that was. Alcohol makes me absolutely insane and as long as i remember that, i can keep a clarity about myself that lets me see the delusions alcohol tries to feed me.
If i find myself in a situation where i feel trapped and only alcohol will free me, i get away. I don't care if someone thinks i'm being rude by excusing myself. I'll end up being a helluva lot more rude if i stay and drink.
Boredom is a huge trigger. Oftentimes, when i get bored, i come here. If i can't talk to anyone, i journal a little. Gets my thoughts on paper and outta my head.
Most importantly, i stay honest. I cannot drink. Not even one. If i drink one, what's the point? Who wants one drink? I need at least a few to get me where i wanna be when i drink. But then i need more than a few. Then, i'm out. I may be able to control my drinking for a little while but i cannot both control and enjoy my drinking. No matter how i feel sober, i will feel worse when i drink. You can never take that first drink back. Once it's done, it's done. I can't do that to myself anymore.
If you're a meeting goer, go nuts on meetings before the vacation. Hit as many as you can and share. Look up when the next meeting you can attend when you get home. I find myself really looking forward to my next meeting so i can share that i made it sober and actually enjoyed myself. Also, i remember that i have to face those people again and i don't want to have to tell them that i relapsed. I'm held accountable to someone besides myself at that point.
Good luck with the holiday. Don't anticipate problems but be prepared for it. I think you'll find it to be a lot less frustrating than you think it'll be. If you're an AAer, take your BB, your 12 and 12 and your Daily Reflections. Pack a book on sobriety or anxiety that you haven't read in a while. Heck, just pack a few books! I am always amazed how good a nice book can make me feel.
I'm on 3 months now and i have a few things that work for me.
I don't participate in activities where booze is heavily used for enjoyment. I don't enjoy get togethers where alcohol plays a central role. Now, these events don't come up often in my life. It used to seem like every event i went to had a heavy alcohol component but, well, they did because of my drinking. Now that i don't drink, i am amazed by how many people don't drink at events i always drank at.
As mentioned above, my sobriety is my choice. Nothing can force me to drink. Illness, death, anger, frustration, boredom, happiness...nothing i experience can be improved upon by drinking. Recently, i got really angry and frustrated at my husband. This happened about 30 seconds before i was standing in front of a grocery cooler looking at sodas and teas. To the left was a ton of craft beers, all singles. So easy to buy one and slip it in my purse. For a moment, i thought about how sorry i'd make my husband for upsetting me. Wow. That passed quickly as i'm able now to see how insane that was. Alcohol makes me absolutely insane and as long as i remember that, i can keep a clarity about myself that lets me see the delusions alcohol tries to feed me.
If i find myself in a situation where i feel trapped and only alcohol will free me, i get away. I don't care if someone thinks i'm being rude by excusing myself. I'll end up being a helluva lot more rude if i stay and drink.
Boredom is a huge trigger. Oftentimes, when i get bored, i come here. If i can't talk to anyone, i journal a little. Gets my thoughts on paper and outta my head.
Most importantly, i stay honest. I cannot drink. Not even one. If i drink one, what's the point? Who wants one drink? I need at least a few to get me where i wanna be when i drink. But then i need more than a few. Then, i'm out. I may be able to control my drinking for a little while but i cannot both control and enjoy my drinking. No matter how i feel sober, i will feel worse when i drink. You can never take that first drink back. Once it's done, it's done. I can't do that to myself anymore.
If you're a meeting goer, go nuts on meetings before the vacation. Hit as many as you can and share. Look up when the next meeting you can attend when you get home. I find myself really looking forward to my next meeting so i can share that i made it sober and actually enjoyed myself. Also, i remember that i have to face those people again and i don't want to have to tell them that i relapsed. I'm held accountable to someone besides myself at that point.
Good luck with the holiday. Don't anticipate problems but be prepared for it. I think you'll find it to be a lot less frustrating than you think it'll be. If you're an AAer, take your BB, your 12 and 12 and your Daily Reflections. Pack a book on sobriety or anxiety that you haven't read in a while. Heck, just pack a few books! I am always amazed how good a nice book can make me feel.
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
You've had some fantastic responses here, Try. I do hope they help.
I love Sasha's post in particular ♥
I always try to think of holidays as a time to rejuvenate and be good to my body - lots of rest plus lots of healthy exercise, eating good, fresh food, breathing in unpolluted air, stimulating my mind with new experiences, etc etc. Something to be enjoyed and remembered
If you need it and if you think it would help, I'm happy to PM my number so you can text if you're feeling particularly vulnerable (but you sound pretty sorted to me )
I love Sasha's post in particular ♥
I always try to think of holidays as a time to rejuvenate and be good to my body - lots of rest plus lots of healthy exercise, eating good, fresh food, breathing in unpolluted air, stimulating my mind with new experiences, etc etc. Something to be enjoyed and remembered
If you need it and if you think it would help, I'm happy to PM my number so you can text if you're feeling particularly vulnerable (but you sound pretty sorted to me
) 12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Sorry to be a bit late to this thread.
This is a situation we must all meet from time to time, being away from our human aids, SR, AA buddies or whatever. This is when the Big Guy or Gal, really comes in handy. I have two simple suggestions to make your holiday a success.
1) Try step eleven. Start each day with a short period of quiet time, asking for strength to get through the day sober, and to do the right things. At the end of the day just have a little review of the day and if there is anything that has gone wrong, think about making amends for your part quickly, before it builds up into a problem.
2) Rather than focussing on your own enjoyment, why not focus on making sure everyone else has a good time. I have found this approach brings me much more joy than if I am just looking after number one.
Those two activities, in my experience, will make the holiday so enjoyable, the thought of a drink just wont come to mind.
This is a situation we must all meet from time to time, being away from our human aids, SR, AA buddies or whatever. This is when the Big Guy or Gal, really comes in handy. I have two simple suggestions to make your holiday a success.
1) Try step eleven. Start each day with a short period of quiet time, asking for strength to get through the day sober, and to do the right things. At the end of the day just have a little review of the day and if there is anything that has gone wrong, think about making amends for your part quickly, before it builds up into a problem.
2) Rather than focussing on your own enjoyment, why not focus on making sure everyone else has a good time. I have found this approach brings me much more joy than if I am just looking after number one.
Those two activities, in my experience, will make the holiday so enjoyable, the thought of a drink just wont come to mind.
One Day At A Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 561
Thanks Gottalife, that's a good way of looking at it. I more than owe it to others to make sure they enjoy themselves. Will do everything I can to ensure that. Top of that list is stay sober!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Wishing you a wonderful sober trip to Portugal. How lovely it is that you will be able to enjoy it..fully conscious and aware...the sights, the sounds, the food!
Loads of good advice here. My only thought to add would be perhaps..a sober journal? Just something to have with you if you need to vent your thoughts or frustations..but also to record all the wonderful experiences you will be having.
Loads of good advice here. My only thought to add would be perhaps..a sober journal? Just something to have with you if you need to vent your thoughts or frustations..but also to record all the wonderful experiences you will be having.
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