Hello! :)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 16
Hello! :)
Hello Everyone. I have lurked here for awhile now, I feel I’ll have better success if I contribute to helping others while finding strength for myself. Somewhere along the line drinking went from being fun (college) to myself finding any reason or excuse to drink (i.e. it’s a beautiful day, stress at work, favorite show, etc.!) I’m 42 now, divorced with sole physical and legal custody of my 2 beautiful sons. My drinking escalated after my divorce 2 years ago, drinking in the evenings mainly (wine mainly or vodka when I didn’t want the calories). I feel like a liar in that I try to make it look like I have it together, I run, I work full time, support 2 kids on my own, but I drink to the blackout point dealing with stress in the evenings. My low was being arrested for a DUI 9 months ago. On my way home from a friends wedding (kids were at a friends overnight) I had never even had a speeding ticket, I was mortified with the experience and the gravity of what a dumb decision I made to drive that night. That in itself should be sobering. I blew high (.202) and didn’t even feel drunk, my tolerance is high I am sure. The repercussions have been very expensive, I did not lose my license but got a hardship with the interlock on my car. It’s highly embarrassing for me to have that on my car and most people don’t even know, I park far or make excuses why I can’t drive anyone somewhere. Mom’s don’t get DUI’s, I feel like a loser. Having the interlock has been a blessing and a curse, I won’t ever drive drunk again after dealing with all this, but I don’t want to drink at home anymore either. I am eligible to get the machine off next month and though I hate having the machine, in some ways it has held me accountable to not drink so much in the evenings so that it doesn’t violate me early in the morning (you’d be surprised how long alc stays in your system, I learned that with this machine! Those early morning hangovers I often had, I was still drunk!!! I just need to rid myself of the need to drink to deal with stress, it’s not fun anymore and dealing with legal issues surrounding drinking is really scary too. I’m on day 3 and feel determined. I’m looking forward to hanging around here. Thanks so much for listening. 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Welcome, Sunshinesmile. I am glad you are here with us. Many of us drank to deal with stress. The irony for me is that the after-effects of drinking have inflicted WAY more stress than I ever experienced before I took that first drink. It took me 20+ years of drinking to figure that one out.
Anyway, congratulations on reaching Day 3. The next week or two may be a grind for you. But it will get easier from there. Just take it one day at a time (or one hour at a time) until then.
Good luck. Be strong.
Anyway, congratulations on reaching Day 3. The next week or two may be a grind for you. But it will get easier from there. Just take it one day at a time (or one hour at a time) until then.
Good luck. Be strong.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 16
You are all so kind, thank you so much! I'm inspired by all of you! 
The hardest time for me is about to come, and that's the drive home from work, it's so easy to pull in a gas station to get a bottle of wine. It's been a habit of mine for so long, switching up stores so I don't look like "THAT" person that is always buying alcohol..lol.
The hardest time for me is about to come, and that's the drive home from work, it's so easy to pull in a gas station to get a bottle of wine. It's been a habit of mine for so long, switching up stores so I don't look like "THAT" person that is always buying alcohol..lol.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by sunshinesmile 
You are all so kind, thank you so much! I'm inspired by all of you! The hardest time for me is about to come, and that's the drive home from work, it's so easy to pull in a gas station to get a bottle of wine. It's been a habit of mine for so long, switching up stores so I don't look like "THAT" person that is always buying alcohol..lol.
The hardest time for me is about to come, and that's the drive home from work, it's so easy to pull in a gas station to get a bottle of wine. It's been a habit of mine for so long, switching up stores so I don't look like "THAT" person that is always buying alcohol..lol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by GetMeOut
I have about 5 liquor stores in a 15 mile radius. I used to make sure I alternated my visits to each one so I didn't arouse too much suspicion. Problem is, the liquor stores are run by the local government and they often transfer employees from one location to another, so I'd still often run into the same people anway!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,563
Glad to meet you sunshinesmile. You will feel right at home here.
Your drinking journey sounds a lot like mine, but I continued into my 50's trying to control it. Not sure why - it had been a very long time since it was fun. I also divided up my alcohol purchases among several stores. So clever!
You are not alone, sunshine. We are with you & you are going to do this.
You will feel right at home here.Your drinking journey sounds a lot like mine, but I continued into my 50's trying to control it. Not sure why - it had been a very long time since it was fun. I also divided up my alcohol purchases among several stores. So clever!
You are not alone, sunshine. We are with you & you are going to do this.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Always good to have some more Sunshine round here...
With respect to wine buying embarrassment...
Today I was shopping and saw a woman that well...I really only know her from the store I bought my wine. I brought her chocolates one year at Christmas. Geeezzz...
I debated about saying "hello".
I didn't. I turned and walked in the other direction. Just trying to outwalk my own shame...
With respect to wine buying embarrassment...
Today I was shopping and saw a woman that well...I really only know her from the store I bought my wine. I brought her chocolates one year at Christmas. Geeezzz...
I debated about saying "hello".
I didn't. I turned and walked in the other direction. Just trying to outwalk my own shame...
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