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Had a very bad night.

Old 06-24-2014, 05:59 PM
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Had a very bad night.

Hi everybody,

I've had a really really bad night, I went to the pub for a beer after work to watch the football, I ended up having what can be said as 1 or 2 too many and ended up coming home and falling out with my wife of 10 yrs.

After that I left the house and caught a train to manchester which is around 1hrs train ride from my base (I don't know why). My plan I think was to get a hotel there and chill until the morning, on my arrival though all of the city centre hotels were fully booked and I ended up missing the last train home. I got something to eat and drink (non alcoholic).

I'm now in a taxi back to home that's cost me nearly 100 and I've got to face the wrath of my wife tomorrow morning when she gets up to take the kids to school. Its now nearly 2am in the morning and I'm still nearly 1 hour from home in the taxi.

This is the lowest I've ever felt due to drinking, please please help.

Bruno.
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:04 PM
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Hi Bruno

Sorry to hear of your night.

Honestly? I think someday somehow you're going to have to accept that if you want change, you need to make changes.

You're either going to have to put up with nights like these, or put more effort into your recovery, commit to abstinence and the necessary life changes, and go a little out of your comfort zone to do it.

That's the 25 words or less bottom line here mate.

D
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:06 PM
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Hi Bruno, welcome! You're in a good place here. What's the plan? Are you ready to quit altogether? I always used to have one too many too, I didn't know how not to, so I eventually stopped beating myself up for not being able to moderate and quit.

Stick around!
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:09 PM
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Unfortunately it will only get worse until we choose to quit.
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:35 PM
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Sorry to hear it, Bruno. Nobody here can help you figure out how to avoid the wrath of your wife. But we probably can help you get things sorted.

Come morning you might make excuses: "It was the World Cup, England game", and reason with yourself. You might even make those excuses to your loved ones. But I think it's important to read this post tomorrow and get your journey started in the right direction.

In the meantime, get some shuteye in the cab. Try and sleep tonight and rest up. Make tomorrow Day 1. We hope to see you back here then. Good luck.
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:47 PM
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Thanks very much for listening guys, I'm nearly home now.

Tomorrow is definitely the start of my new Journey. This is the worst its ever been for me and I know full well that its down to the drinking. The only way is up from here before I lose everything.

Bruno.
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:49 PM
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Good luck with the wife, now is a good time to do things differently. While your recent escapade is noteworthy, it can and will get much worse as I'm sure you have heard. I've found it worthwhile to set realistic goals and then be disciplined enough to follow through on a daily basis.
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Old 06-24-2014, 06:52 PM
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Have you called your wife to at least let her know you're on your way back?
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Bruno1979 View Post
Hi everybody,

I've had a really really bad night, I went to the pub for a beer after work to watch the football, I ended up having what can be said as 1 or 2 too many and ended up coming home and falling out with my wife of 10 yrs.

After that I left the house and caught a train to manchester which is around 1hrs train ride from my base (I don't know why). My plan I think was to get a hotel there and chill until the morning, on my arrival though all of the city centre hotels were fully booked and I ended up missing the last train home. I got something to eat and drink (non alcoholic).

I'm now in a taxi back to home that's cost me nearly 100 and I've got to face the wrath of my wife tomorrow morning when she gets up to take the kids to school. Its now nearly 2am in the morning and I'm still nearly 1 hour from home in the taxi.

This is the lowest I've ever felt due to drinking, please please help.

Bruno.
I'm sure many here can relate to ruining marriages/relationships due to drinking, sorry you're going through it now. I threw away the love of my life because of my relentless binge drinking. You would think that would have sobered me up, but no, I needed another 5 years of low after low after low (including a couple more lost relationships) before I finally figured out that I can never drink again. Hopefully it won't take you sinking to the depths that I did to wise up. Your marriage can still be saved most likely if you put down the booze.
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Old 06-24-2014, 09:18 PM
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It usually starts with, " I went to the pub for a beer after work." 'a' meaning one I must assume.

Time to get that silly notion out of your head I think. One is too many...

Hope everything works out. But don't tempt fate and try this again in my opinion.
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Old 06-24-2014, 09:36 PM
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We lose many, many battles to this thing before admitting we are simply punching way above our weight.



Tomorrow is a brand new one. Stand in the sun.
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Old 06-25-2014, 12:39 AM
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I lost a few very very decent women due to alcohol as well,I just thought I was doing what all young people do.I hope you can sort stuff out with your wife and remind yourself what it felt like last night.
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Old 06-25-2014, 12:49 AM
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Just remember you can't undo anything you did. Get home, take the beating and lashing from the wife, genuinely apologize, wake up tomorrow and start working on changes. There is nothing you can do tonight to change what happened. Dwelling on that will not change anything. Focus on the future, and keep us informed. A lot of support here. Wish you the best.
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Old 06-25-2014, 01:19 AM
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Hows it going Bruno?

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Old 06-25-2014, 02:47 AM
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Many thanks again to everybody who replied, this is my day 1 again and I'm determined to make it happen this time. I spoke to my wife briefly this morning before she left for work and I'm hoping that this is the start of something new for me. I feel gutted to say the least about my actions but there's little that I can do now except move forward with a clear head.

Thanks again,

Bruno.
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Old 06-25-2014, 02:54 AM
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Got any ideas on a plan Bruno?

D
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Old 06-25-2014, 03:29 AM
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I think admitting defeat to drink and looking and getting help in a solid plan, might help, after that it's proving to you and your wife, which is two separate things ,a week without is a long time for a problem drinker and nothing to others. You need time not drinking.
This place was a godsend after years of not being able to moderate, stop, but maybe you need more to kick start .
Whatever happens good luck and hope the days not too painful.
John.
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Old 06-25-2014, 04:11 AM
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I'm going have to totally rewire my brain, the lifestyle that I've been living is unsustainable. I can string time together without drinking, days, weeks and even a couple of months but the demon is always there in the back of my mind eating away. I do put myself under a lot of pressure at work and that is sometimes just the excuse that I need. The vast majority of my friends are drinkers, they probably aren't as bad as me but everything that I do is always to the extreme, I'm going have to take a look at my "friends" and maybe avoid them at all costs.

Everything needs to change, even down to the finest detail. I can remember about 15 years ago and I was dating a girl for a few months and when we stopped seeing each other it hit me hard, I ended up changing everything I did then as well, I stopped visiting the places that we went together, even down to the music that I listened to, that changed as well and I successfully moved on.

My relationship with the booze is probably like being in a bad relationship with a partner too so maybe little changes will make big differences going forward.

Bruno.
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Old 06-25-2014, 04:13 AM
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hope you're feeling better today Bruno and that you and your wife can sort this out. Congrats on day 1!!
Just think, you never have to feel like that again...or make HER feel like that again.
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Old 06-25-2014, 04:20 AM
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I know the match was boring Bruno but there was no need to drink over it!

Jokes aside congrats on day 1, we've all been there, some of us several times. Change is always tough but the benefits are greater than you could imagine.
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