To recap...
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by jdooner 
No Aiko - you might kill yourself but you my dear will not be solving anything. I am praying that you get arrested. I think that is perhaps the best solution to help you get the treatment you deserve.
You are of no help to yourself. I just feel badly for your poor parents. To loose one child is heart wrenching but I could not comprehend loosing both children too.
What you are doing is selfish and senseless but that is addiction.
I am curious - you talk about the pills and drugs like a badge of honor here. All I see is a beautiful woman trapped by this addict. The quantity of benzos or blue ones or any other pill that your talk about as a conquest just comes across as sad and pathetic.
You are of no help to yourself. I just feel badly for your poor parents. To loose one child is heart wrenching but I could not comprehend loosing both children too.
What you are doing is selfish and senseless but that is addiction.
I am curious - you talk about the pills and drugs like a badge of honor here. All I see is a beautiful woman trapped by this addict. The quantity of benzos or blue ones or any other pill that your talk about as a conquest just comes across as sad and pathetic.
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
I really have sunk...
I wake up still drugged and later I star getting the anxiety and start again...
I am waiting 4 monday... If they let me in.
Cos they say I will OD if go out and loose it!
I am over doing and I know I shuold not but I continue mixing poisoning myself is crazy...... I need help!
I wake up crying and drugged!
I can not hide this much longer
I pray they let me in...
Lost control...
God help me tomorrow!!!
I wake up still drugged and later I star getting the anxiety and start again...
I am waiting 4 monday... If they let me in.
Cos they say I will OD if go out and loose it!
I am over doing and I know I shuold not but I continue mixing poisoning myself is crazy...... I need help!
I wake up crying and drugged!
I can not hide this much longer
I pray they let me in...
Lost control...
God help me tomorrow!!!
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
Vivi 10 aņos en Brighton y fui a la Universifad!
Soy uk chartered accountant!
Me fuy a los 22 y volvi a los 32.
Y d vuelta a las drogas....
Estoy fatal....
Gracias por tu apoyo.
Un Abrazo miy grande!!!!
Soy uk chartered accountant!
Me fuy a los 22 y volvi a los 32.
Y d vuelta a las drogas....
Estoy fatal....
Gracias por tu apoyo.
Un Abrazo miy grande!!!!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Aiko, I can't help but feel it would be helpful if you seek alternative ways of getting treatment. You were hoping for positive news last Monday but it didn't happen. I hope you get the treatment you need tomorrow but if they say no for whatever reason then what will you do?
Maybe you need to start looking out for other ways.Whether it is rehab,detox, seeing your doc etc,going to AA,NA etc I don't know. But nothing will change if you don't do anything. There are plenty of alternatives out there but this has to come from you and you need to really want it and stop making reasons as to why you can't do x,y or z. The most important thing is for you to get better and everything else -work, your mum, everything will have to take second place to that. As a mother, I know I would want my child to seek help more than anything. I'm sure your mother feels the same.
Maybe you need to start looking out for other ways.Whether it is rehab,detox, seeing your doc etc,going to AA,NA etc I don't know. But nothing will change if you don't do anything. There are plenty of alternatives out there but this has to come from you and you need to really want it and stop making reasons as to why you can't do x,y or z. The most important thing is for you to get better and everything else -work, your mum, everything will have to take second place to that. As a mother, I know I would want my child to seek help more than anything. I'm sure your mother feels the same.
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
How they said it... ???
You are not accepted for only 15 days bla bla bla
reality::::If some thing happens to me after they left me off unstable
a Judge will say you loose your license...
So I broke down.... disappear from work... boss phoning... not bothered.
My hopes broken in half,....
I cried in car over a work college,....
Calm down.... and breathed 4 cigarettes got to get a plan H???
I remembered a friend send me a hospital address...
so Plan H is.... 5-7 days in first cost line hospital own cell, own bathroom, for:
2,900€ on arrival...
200 € per day of stay...
and includes 12 shrink shyco for 3 months!!!
Just does not add upp to me!!!
You get sedated and phone off 48 hours.... I am scareddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
after that I might get the Laptop depending....bla
but I said ok another
MONDAY AGAIN!
What else I am going to try????
Get through 6 more days.... Greattttt!
Shot.... arrive next Monday Morning at 12 in Malaga Awake Dosh on hand!!!!
someone offered to drive me there....
plan little f is have good send off... not be able to drive there!
I made a new friend ex-cocoaine NA Rep.... wants to introduce me to a girl with pills problems...having a coffee as and NA group to close to home............ on WED
forgot to say... I whet to a house today... buying beautiful flower pots
So I ended up with some pots on top of the fridge...
which I am not supposed to touch till Saturday night (Got plans:..)
So I can not see well anyway, but I finally found my two pairs of glasses finally...
Under the sofa.
God tomorrow morning how the Heavens I get there a 8,30 and then explain this.............................................. ............................................ ufffffffffffff
I am too tired....
Going to bed......................
You are not accepted for only 15 days bla bla bla
reality::::If some thing happens to me after they left me off unstable
a Judge will say you loose your license...
So I broke down.... disappear from work... boss phoning... not bothered.
My hopes broken in half,....
I cried in car over a work college,....
Calm down.... and breathed 4 cigarettes got to get a plan H???
I remembered a friend send me a hospital address...
so Plan H is.... 5-7 days in first cost line hospital own cell, own bathroom, for:
2,900€ on arrival...
200 € per day of stay...
and includes 12 shrink shyco for 3 months!!!
Just does not add upp to me!!!
You get sedated and phone off 48 hours.... I am scareddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
after that I might get the Laptop depending....bla
but I said ok another
MONDAY AGAIN!What else I am going to try????
Get through 6 more days.... Greattttt!
Shot.... arrive next Monday Morning at 12 in Malaga Awake Dosh on hand!!!!
someone offered to drive me there....
plan little f is have good send off... not be able to drive there!
I made a new friend ex-cocoaine NA Rep.... wants to introduce me to a girl with pills problems...having a coffee as and NA group to close to home............ on WED
forgot to say... I whet to a house today... buying beautiful flower pots
So I ended up with some pots on top of the fridge...
which I am not supposed to touch till Saturday night (Got plans:..)
So I can not see well anyway, but I finally found my two pairs of glasses finally...
Under the sofa.
God tomorrow morning how the Heavens I get there a 8,30 and then explain this.............................................. ............................................ ufffffffffffff
I am too tired....
Going to bed......................
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
U migth agree or disagree....
Yesterday...
A friend of a friend took me to NA....
All clean and I was tryping...
Introduced me to another girl addicted to pills etc
Everybody. Said 15 or 5 days waste.of time
And end up smoking in a house...
So I walked at night all stoned... Swerbing the floor lol
Today whent to see a doctor...
The plan is....
a schedule of pills.
And slowly reducction.
Catch:
I wont have the pills!
A friend is going to keep them and I pop in the evening and. Gives me the exact
amount per day....
I thought what is the point to be looked up! Sprint detox Pay amd get out..... Next one please!!!
What I have to do is to resolve the problems I hide!
see the real problem.... What makes un so unhappy that I wants.to be free/drugged!
Thus no boot hospital.camp!
SCHEDULE REDUCCTION!
or Else.....
Yesterday...
A friend of a friend took me to NA....
All clean and I was tryping...
Introduced me to another girl addicted to pills etc
Everybody. Said 15 or 5 days waste.of time
And end up smoking in a house...
So I walked at night all stoned... Swerbing the floor lol
Today whent to see a doctor...
The plan is....
a schedule of pills.
And slowly reducction.
Catch:
I wont have the pills!
A friend is going to keep them and I pop in the evening and. Gives me the exact
amount per day....
I thought what is the point to be looked up! Sprint detox Pay amd get out..... Next one please!!!
What I have to do is to resolve the problems I hide!
see the real problem.... What makes un so unhappy that I wants.to be free/drugged!
Thus no boot hospital.camp!
SCHEDULE REDUCCTION!
or Else.....
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