DryDesert

Hey tomorrow will be my 44th birthday and the first without a drink.
85 days sober and struggling today as a friend wants to take me for lunch and has said you'll be fine if you have a small drink.
Any suggestions or support on how to handle this scary situation.
Thanks

Woodeye

This doesn't sound like a "friend" you need to be hanging around with if you are struggling. Say no, and treat yourself to a lunch at a place that doesn't serve alcohol. Good luck and congrats on 85 days.

DryDesert

thanks

PurpleKnight

My circle of close friends now includes those that accepted my decision to be Sober, they don't ask questions when I have something non alcoholic at social gatherings, they don't say things like, "one won't do any harm" etc etc, that's because they are true friends, they accept me for who I am and back my corner in whatever major life decisions I make without a fuss.

Those that didn't respect my decision to be sober, I had to ask the question, do I really want these people in my life? . . . now maybe the comment was made in passing, you'll know more on the night!!

Happy Birthday!! 85 Days is fantastic!!

HeadLump

Happy Birthday for tomorrow, DryDesert! And well done on your sobriety so far

ElijahNoahColt

Well done on 85 days! If your friend is persistent then just don't go, you should make it clear to those around you that you don't drink anymore and real friends will accept it.

Happy birthday have a great time

Dee74

why not make your own plans - it's your bday - you choose the place (non alcohol serving) and the friends you want to be with.

85 days is huge - but being sober on your bday is something special. Don't miss out on that

D

lunar

Give yourself a birthday present. Celebrate! Have a large drink, not a small one. Have a couple!
Just be sure those drinks are alcohol-free.
No excuses needed for your friend.
Simply say, "I'd rather have seltzer with lime, thank you". (or whatever soft drink, tea or coffee you prefer).
Later on, you'll feel stronger and realize what a fantastic birthday present you've given to yourself.
On Wednesday when you awake, clean and sober, you'll have clear, fond memories of your birthday,
not disappointment, guilt and hangover. You will bask in the light of Victory!
Think of how confident you'll feel about yourself, going through a birthday soberly.
Don't get me wrong here, if you really think you won't be able to handle the situation, don't go, or go elsewhere where there is no alcohol served. Sometimes you have to fight.

Anna

Yes, it's your birthday, so do what you want to do, and refusing drinks from a 'friend' would not be my choice as to how to spend the day.

and congratulations on 85 days sober.