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Domestic abuse

Old 06-22-2014, 08:36 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 View Post
call an ambulance then and file the report

That's what he is trying to do--stop it from being public record.

Don't let this pass. This is really serious--please don't minimize it or let him do so.

Your foot may be seriously injured and you need medical attention.

What do you mean "he won't drive you"?
I asked him to take me to A&E and he said no. He apologised but said my foot will be fine. I'm struggling to walk on it as it is so painful when I do. My fault apparently as I made him upset. Possibly seeing my hubby in a new light since getting sober.
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:42 AM
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You need to get to the hospital. Call the ambulance Hawkeye suggested.
Hawkeye is right...he does not want anyone to know about his horrid, shameful behaviour.
YOU have to bring it to light.
Do not let him get away with this.
Do you have friends or family you could call? Like call..right now?
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:45 AM
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I don't really have anyone where we live - we are about an hour from his parents but they wouldn't help.

I am numb. This is not the man I married, this is not my husband! Yet I can only limp on my foot so it must be him
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:47 AM
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call an ambulance please...
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:48 AM
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Needinghelp82, you've gotten some great advice. I hope you take some action but I have a feeling you're either too scared or don't want to upset your Husband.

You don't need him to help you! All you need to do is make a phone call. Help will come to you.

If you decide not to report this or get help...please get some ice on your foot and elevate it.
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:51 AM
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He apologises ( easy to do) but won't take you to hospital.Then go yourself. Don't be so dependent on him. He knows he's done wrong.

We can advise you all we are doing but it is for you to call the police/womens aid and go to hospital. We can't make you do it. You have to decide if you want to continue living like this and for your daughter to grow up witnessing violence and abuse and thinking it's normal behaviour.
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:52 AM
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Please show your daughter the proper way to handle being treated in this manner: call the police and get to emergency / see a doctor. And aside from being a role model for your daughter, please do it for You. ((hugs))
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Opivotal View Post
Needinghelp82, you've gotten some great advice. I hope you take some action but I have a feeling you're either too scared or don't want to upset your Husband.

You don't need him to help you! All you need to do is make a phone call. Help will come to you.

If you decide not to report this or get help...please get some ice on your foot and elevate it.
I don't want to upset our family. I'm going to call a number given in this thread but it worries me.
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:56 AM
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If there wasn't physical abuse before there must have at least been mental abuse. That behavior doesn't spring up from nowhere. I agree that maybe you drank away a lot of the bad parts of the relationship. He sounds quite scary.

My sister went through a lot of physical abuse with her ex-husband.He tried to get full custody of their kids when she left, and accused HER of being abusive. Thankfully their was already a CPS report on him. It could help you later if there's domestic abuse on his record
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Needinghelp82 View Post
I don't want to upset our family. I'm going to call a number given in this thread but it worries me.
He already "upset the family" by kicking you and breaking your foot.

That's on him, not you.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:02 AM
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Originally Posted by lovesymphony View Post
If there wasn't physical abuse before there must have at least been mental abuse. That behavior doesn't spring up from nowhere. I agree that maybe you drank away a lot of the bad parts of the relationship. He sounds quite scary.

My sister went through a lot of physical abuse with her ex-husband.He tried to get full custody of their kids when she left, and accused HER of being abusive. Thankfully their was already a CPS report on him. It could help you later if there's domestic abuse on his record
For years I went through him getting at me mentally. He removed my friend circle by convincing me they weren't a good part of my life and it ended up just being us. Daughter came along and we were great!

I've had bulimia in the past and it has started again. He knows but just tells me how **** I am for 'letting' it flare up again. My foot ******* hurts.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:03 AM
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Sweetie...you gotta put your big girl pants on here.
You need help.
So does he.
Do not throw this dirty little secret under the carpet.
If you hide this...you are a co-conspirator.

DO NOT hide this ugly.
Do not.
You need to take your wee girl...and get out...to assess this properly.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Needinghelp82 View Post
For years I went through him getting at me mentally. He removed my friend circle by convincing me they weren't a good part of my life and it ended up just being us. Daughter came along and we were great!

I've had bulimia in the past and it has started again. He knows but just tells me how **** I am for 'letting' it flare up again. My foot ******* hurts.
Removing you from your circle of friends/support is the hallmark of an abusive person.
He insults/blames you for your bulimia??
Call the number you found in this thread.

You need to stay sober. You need to keep your wits about you.
For you...and your little girl.
Call the number.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:07 AM
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I've been in abusive relationships. I've been kicked, punched and sworn at. I allowed it to happen because I was too scared of the repercussions..but it never went away. They always said sorry...but that's just a word. It means nothing. I didn't have children then..that changes everything..

I grew up in a household where violence was commonplace..the legacy of that stays with me always. It's how I ended up picking the wrong types myself for a while.

The number I posted is a free and confidential domestic violence hotline. You don't even need to give your name. Just ask for advice. You owe it to yourself and your daughter x
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Needinghelp82 View Post
I don't want to upset our family.
It's already much too late for that. As some others have suggested, and you yourself commented on, there seems to be more going on here than meets the eye. The more you dismiss such events as aberrations, the more you're condoning his behavior. Get some help for this.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:31 AM
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Needinghelp, you truly do need help right now. Don't overthink or hesitate more. In my view, what you need now before anything else, is medical help.

Here is what I suggest, just like others. Call an ambulance for your foot. You don't want to mess with that, you would MUCH regret later. Don't think about anything else. Then when they come, tell them what happened. Probably they will volunteer to also call the police for you, you don't need to do all that by yourself. Just call the ambulance, NOT your family.

I had an experience in the past that was only vaguely similar... No domestic violence, but I was mugged on the street... I thought I was fine and could handle it by myself, but somehow my instincts disagreed and I ran into a random building, rang the doorbell of an apartment in a shock or confusion. There were two really nice helpful girls there, I got so lucky. They called the police for me and also an ambulance since I told them I was hit on the head by the muggers.

It was such a good instinctual "decision" to run for help, but I would not recommend the same thing, I suggest that you call the ambulance NOW. Believe me, you will not regret later and they will help you in a few ways.

Btw, I also had bulimia in the past... if you want to discuss with someone, I am happy to... but now please get help!
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:41 AM
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I called the number. They won't speak to me while he is in the house. Wtf do I do??
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:42 AM
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Where roughly in the UK are you?
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:47 AM
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You need medical attention!! . . . a trip to A&E should be the plan to get checked out!!
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted by flossyfressia View Post
Where roughly in the UK are you?
Somerset
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