liss74

Their are not enough swear words to tell you how I'm feeling !!!!!! Very frustrated feel like I'm loosing my mind . Went saw my pysch today.

Dee74

I'm glad you came straight back Liss.

If you want to talk about it later I'm sure people would like to help you work out where the kinks in your plan are

D

liss74

Yeah my evil will night xx

jezza

Never mind Liss we have all been there. Glad you came straight back here. It's in the past now & that door is shut, just go through the open door in front of you..

Wendolene

Hi Liss,

The first thing is to not beat yourself up over this. I don't know how long you have been sober for, but the important thing is that you came here and reached out for help. Sounds like you are doing the right thing going back to your psych. Are you on any meds at the moment?

We are here for comfort and support if you need us.

Sending lots of hugs and good wishes your way.

Wendolene x

ReadyAtLast

I'm glad you've come straight back. Have you decided what you are going to do? I remember AA worked for you before-maybe go back there. Or look at SMART meetings or AVRT or therapy. find something that works for you.

I'd also recommend urge surfing which really helped me get through the cravings in the early days.They will happen-it's naive to think we won't get them -for me the crucial issue was knowing they would arise and learning how to get through them.

Hawkeye13

Well done on getting right back on the wagon.

Strengthen your tools and start again.
You can do it

ScottFromWI

Glad you are back Liss. Did the doctor have any suggestions about your drinking?

Nuudawn

(((Liss)))
Okay...look at what happened. What didn't you do? Did you remember to check in with yourself before you gave in? Were you hungry, angry, lonely, tired?
Did you post here before? Did you call a friend? Did you walk it off?
Did something happen you couldn't deal with all alone?

What caused you to just say "eff it" and drink my friend?

Just take a look at what happened...and get back on that fine sober stallion and ride.

I've been there....I get it. I'm sure most of us do.

SoberLeigh

Yes, what Nuudawn said.

Don't let this slip derail you, liss.

ultradad

Hey liss,

You know at least you made it back, so many others don't! I applaud your honesty and courage to get right back at finding the solution! If AA worked before, go back! I know you can beat this, don't beat yourself up and go to a meeting!

FreeOwl shared this link yesterday and it really spoke to me:

How I Stay Stopped | Jowita Bydlowska

PurpleKnight

Go at it again!! You'll get there liss!!

copperfield

me too. good luck!!!

liss74

yeah I'm at meetings but it's not working they used to not sure.

liss74

Something to do with 2 weeks of self loathing

liss74

Thought about it but went to my doctors instead meaning got the full bottle of wine out the bin then thought , I can't do this again and again and again so I didn't . From the first drink I was shaking knowing I shouldn't b and knew I couldn't stop once I started . This experience left me wanting to end my life it's depressing me and sending me mad that I can't get it . Feel like I'm going mad felt more sane 3 years ago .

Johnsonsober22

Remember you are not alone, we are all here to support and encourage each other..... Beep breath, exhale, and start again......

ScottFromWI

So are you saying you didn't go to the doctor? If you are feeling suicidal you need to call one or a hotline now.

KAD

You're conflicted because you know its wrong. You're allowing the AV to overpower you, in spite of the fact that you know it leaves you feeling depressed, hopeless, even suicidal. I don't know you well enough to get inside your head and tell you what you should do next, but I know myself well enough to know I've been there. Each and every drink over the past couple years has left me feeling the same way, but each and every time I got sober, I can say I felt much less conflicted. You can't see anything clearly when you drink. Even if I thought I wanted a drink, deciding not to do it made me feel better. Not great, but better. Regret is the doorway to relapse. Move past this. There is no changing it. Be sober now.

Aellyce

Hi Liss, I know all that you're going through. Doubting yourself... on and on an on... detox (I did not do the formal one but I am a mental health professional, so had my way)... feeling great, even on top of the world... then relapse. For me these were all just days. My "relapses" over a >10 year period were separated max by 1-2-3 days. I had 5 days once, if recall correctly.

Also, I could never got any decent sobriety before I moved into an environment that I loved, and started work I loved. And generally, just felt loved. Maybe not loved, just appreciated, or accepted... I really don't think I could have ever beaten my addiction in a different way, without these things.

How are you feeling now? SOOOOOO rootin for ya!!!!!