DisplacedGRITS

A lot, and I mean A LOT of my anxieties were eased when I sobered up and started attending AA meetings. The women's group I go to has helped me so much and so has the group I adopted as my homegroup. Usually, I get really anxious around people because I'm terrified that they hate me. I always assume that no one likes me at all but don't say anything because I'm not worth the drama. I'm just tolerated. Going to these meetings and fellowshipping has really helped me. Everyone is so forgiving but at the same time, they don't let me get away with ********. Because I "practice" being a human with them, i'm better at being human around normies. I made a terrible joke at work yesterday and I was able to laugh it off because I've made social gaffs with my friends and become used to not freaking out about them not liking me.

I had horrible, horrible feelings of impending doom the first couple of weeks after I quit drinking. They've mostly eased but I still have brief moments of panic for no reason. I had a mini freakout yesterday but got through it with the help of my sponsor.

I've found that alcohol didn't ease any anxieties that it didn't cause. It just smothered my mind and my soul. Since sobering up, I feel clearer. I'm more confident, partly because I'm not worrying if I smell like alcohol or look "off." I'm less focused on myself now.

Seeing my GP was actually a great experience. A lot of it wasn't even about the medical advice and treatment he gave me. Mostly, I was relieved to tell another human being that I am an alcoholic. I came clean to someone who could really help me. He didn't judge me. He was actually proud! I walked in so embarrassed and I left filled with a sense of accomplishment. I looked someone I respected in the eye and said that I was a bonafide alcoholic. The cat was out of the bag and it just felt like relief.

Tiffyw12

Ah DisplacedGrits, what an articulate way you have detailed the anxiety. The alcohol does not ease the anxiety, you're right! I relate to what you have said in so many ways! I have always found I have different persona's for different people/friends/family. I hide under a cover of confidence, which is completely not who I am. I have zero confidence and find myself evading situations or conversation just so I don't slip up. I feel like my addiction is such a dirty secret. I find myself looking at other mum's and thinking 'my poor girls'. I know I'm not in the right place right now to confide in my GP. Although, I think I could go to an outreach centre and talk to a professional. Thanks so much for your reply. x

Tiffyw12

I'll bring the owl, one of my favourite birds of prey! Have you had any sleep at all tonight? xxxx

jwb63

Day 2 for me. A pint a night. Now sitting up a lot.

charchar75

I keep trying to sleep but it's hard. I keep checking this this and started organizing. Than I had stomach issues. I have to force myself to sleep bc I have to get up at 6 am for work.

I'm really excited again abt this. I haven't been on here since early February. I will definetly be back and I hope u will too.

brach123

I can seriously relate to the impending doom, anxiety issues and that's something my ego rarely lets me admit in meetings etc. Even after a 48 hour relapse its all back ten fold. I'm on day 2 now and have found that staying out of self as much as possible is starting to help, after all the fear I'm experiencing is always focussed on 'me'! its seem easier said than done but listening to spiritual teachings, meditation and aa speakers has got me through so far.

we can all get through the tough times!

charchar75

I love owls! On Pinterest they had this cutest little owl. By the way, I sent you a PM.

KAD

Hi and welcome! I typically do start to feel improvement around 3 days but it takes about a week before I begin to feel somewhat normal again. My biggest issue right now, at one week sober, is fatigue. I can't seem to stay awake at times during the day and when I go to bed, I don't budge all night. Wake up feeling like a zombie, too. I know about the bloated feeling in the belly and that clears up after about a week, too. Be patient with yourself. It took time to do the damage to yourself and it will take time to undo it. I would advise seeing your doctor and being completely honest about your drinking, too. I finally did that, after seeing the same doctor for over 10 years and always lying and saying I didn't drink at all. Best wishes!

Tiffyw12

I know Char char, you do tend to have allot of nervous energy in the first few days. In the past I have felt instantly better when I've stopped. This is really the first time I have had bloatedness. I hope your stomach is ok? Are you getting cramps? Try and rest and once I've reached my 5 posts, we will email xx

EJ43

Hi Tiffy! I am a mom too! Wine was it for me too.....and don't forget the vodka! I am four months in now and am so thankful for my body healing. I am there for my kids, not bombed or planning to get bombed. Hang in there, the rewards are great!

Tiffyw12

EJ43 thanks for your post. Well done on 4 months sobriety! You must be feeling great now. I'm perfectly fine during the day, I've probably always had distractions and not found the need to drink. 5PM onwards is my bad time. Once I get over the first week and start to feel myself again, I will need a strong distraction not to slip back. What times of the day were worse for you and how did you counteract it?