I thought Life Was Supposed To Get Better
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Like people said before: it is amazing you made it sober through all of this. You should be proud of yourself. The pendulum will swing back and you will see better times. Think of how much worse it could be if you would have been drinking...
L
L
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 40
Wow, you truly are an inspiration and example to us all, when my storm comes I will think of you and double down! I hope and pray things start looking up for you.
I also, like the idea of exercising/practicing gratitude, for all things at all times.
I also, like the idea of exercising/practicing gratitude, for all things at all times.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
I'm so sorry that life has dumped so much on you, Mega, but you have amazed me with how you've managed to not only stay sober but you actually have a better attitude than most people I know. Good things are coming your way soon, it's the law of attraction!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by megacrankcase 
I'm 73 days sober and clean today. A long way to go, but a miracle for me.
It seems like everything has gone wrong since then. I had hoped to be healthier.
I lose use of my right arm for a while due to cubital tunnel syndrome. I got through that. Pollen season came, and I got the worst sinus infection of my life. Knocked me on my ass. Bleeding out my nose, dizziness, utter misery.
An old knee injury flared up. I took some anti-inflammatory drugs and had a bad reaction to one of them. Also the Vicodin made me feel horrible.
My Mom died. My cat died. My house got flooded.
Monday I was asked if I would agree to a five dollar an hour pay decrease. Things are tough and some are losing their jobs.
Next week is my vacation. I am flying my beloved stepdaughter here from across the country. We had a bunch of stuff planned. Now I can't afford to do all of it.
Then, this week I started feeling bad. Really bad. Brutal headaches and a wicked cough. I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon. I have pneumonia.
I don't smoke. Never have. I haven't had a drink in almost three months. I have been trying to eat right.
Add in the agony of alcohol recovery to all of the above.
I broke down last night. Started crying and could not stop. I'm still crying right now.
I am trying so damned hard. I don't remember what it is like to not feel bad. I've had to take piles of pills for all the stuff. It is making me sick.
I know things will get better. They have to. I won't make it otherwise.
I know I am whining like a baby, but I need a break.
It seems like everything has gone wrong since then. I had hoped to be healthier.
I lose use of my right arm for a while due to cubital tunnel syndrome. I got through that. Pollen season came, and I got the worst sinus infection of my life. Knocked me on my ass. Bleeding out my nose, dizziness, utter misery.
An old knee injury flared up. I took some anti-inflammatory drugs and had a bad reaction to one of them. Also the Vicodin made me feel horrible.
My Mom died. My cat died. My house got flooded.
Monday I was asked if I would agree to a five dollar an hour pay decrease. Things are tough and some are losing their jobs.
Next week is my vacation. I am flying my beloved stepdaughter here from across the country. We had a bunch of stuff planned. Now I can't afford to do all of it.
Then, this week I started feeling bad. Really bad. Brutal headaches and a wicked cough. I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon. I have pneumonia.
I don't smoke. Never have. I haven't had a drink in almost three months. I have been trying to eat right.
Add in the agony of alcohol recovery to all of the above.
I broke down last night. Started crying and could not stop. I'm still crying right now.
I am trying so damned hard. I don't remember what it is like to not feel bad. I've had to take piles of pills for all the stuff. It is making me sick.
I know things will get better. They have to. I won't make it otherwise.
I know I am whining like a baby, but I need a break.
living sober is certainly not easy but despite it all you haven't picked up a drink !!!!
thats amazing dont you think ? with all them problems and you havent reached out for a drink ?
well done my friend giving up drink doesnt mean life is going to be fair, it doesnt mean there will be a lotto win and all problems will go away etc
we just dont drink on them anymore
so well done for having the courage to post and to cope
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Oregon U.S.
Posts: 1,023
Hope you get better soon. That's a whole lot to have happen in a short time, I'm sorry for your losses. Good job on staying sober through it all. I think both mind and body take some time to adjust and maybe the whole system gets thrown off a bit. But sober, your body should be stronger in the long run. Take care, hope you have a nice visit.
-Ted
-Ted
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Originally Posted by megacrankcase
I am alive. The worst of the recovery is behind me. I may not have much money, but I got my antibiotics. I will see my stepdaughter in less than a week. I can still walk on the earth, see its wonders, hear beautiful music.
It actually helped to get it out. I feel a little better. As better as a guy with pneumonia can feel.
It actually helped to get it out. I feel a little better. As better as a guy with pneumonia can feel.
Enjoy your time with your stepdaughter! Money is a trifling thing next to the love of family.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
I'm high fiving my screen right now. This is some major crap you've had happen but your still sober and that is absafuckingmazing. Sometimes, life comes at you and it comes hard and fast. It sucks. It really, really sucks. What sobriety has done for me is help me to connect to a side of myself I'd lost touch of for a long time. I can endure a lot when I'm sober because I get the opportunity to experience human emotions as they're meant to be experienced. I get to experience acceptance and I get to take time to be grateful for what I have going for me.
When I was drinking, bad things would happen and I'd be drinking. So I'd feel bad about what happened then I'd feel guilty about my drinking then I'd fall into despair. I was never able to drink myself into happiness or acceptance. Just oblivion and that was just awful. I wasn't even human at that point.
I've got my fingers crossed for you. I'm sure you've got plenty of good karma but I'll send a good karma transfer your way.
When I was drinking, bad things would happen and I'd be drinking. So I'd feel bad about what happened then I'd feel guilty about my drinking then I'd fall into despair. I was never able to drink myself into happiness or acceptance. Just oblivion and that was just awful. I wasn't even human at that point.
I've got my fingers crossed for you. I'm sure you've got plenty of good karma but I'll send a good karma transfer your way.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
You've had alot thrown at you in a short period of time, and during a time that is difficult and emotional all on it's own. What stood out to me, was how much you must want sobriety, because despite all thats happening you are staying sober and finding the positives in that. You have a great attitude. I am really impressed. We all need to get it out some times, it helps. I hope you enjoy your visit with your stepdaughter and feel better soon. Better days are coming and because you're sober, you'll be ready for them. Hang in there
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
wow, that is quite the list of *crap*!!!!
who knew YAHTZEE could be so dangerous???!! lol....but props to you for posting and venting...and I sure hope things start to turn around for you. Sounds like you have a the right frame of mind, I have no doubt when you get through all of this....you'll look back and be like "man, I'm AWESOME!!!" and good things WILL come.
feel better soon mega. rest up for your visit
who knew YAHTZEE could be so dangerous???!! lol....but props to you for posting and venting...and I sure hope things start to turn around for you. Sounds like you have a the right frame of mind, I have no doubt when you get through all of this....you'll look back and be like "man, I'm AWESOME!!!" and good things WILL come.
feel better soon mega. rest up for your visit
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