Knat84

I'm not sure why... but, for the first time in 3 years, I have a fear of craving alcohol. I think it all started when a friend of mine came over and went out and smoked a cigarette. (As strange as that sounds because ... obviously, cigs. are not booze...but, an associative I must have with them.)
I was looking out the window at her doing it and was thinking... "must be nice.."

I have NO CLUE as to why this is happening. My cravings are very weak...but, I still, obviously, have those 'demons' there.

Then we got to talking about one of my favorite cities, New Orleans, and THAT right there allowed a doubt pop into my mind. I was like "What in the heck are you doing in my head? Where did you come from??"

I am 99.99% sure that I'm NOT going to give in... but, I just thought I should put that out there. I've worked so hard to get to where I am. Also, I read someone on here stating that they went from being 5 YEARS sober and they relapsed. I think that scared the hell out of me because I thought "OMG, what if that is me??" What if something terrible in my life happens that causes me to relapse.

So, I'm not really having a full on craving of alcohol / cigarettes, but, I am in total fear of the thought that I might...

Please, advice? Your take on it?

Much love,
Nat

PurpleKnight

I understand what you mean, the fear of finding yourself in a full blown craving, I sometimes worry about that, what happens if it's checkmate with some random situation that I can't control, the fear of no control is built into it.

BUT it's irrational, keep your plan up to date, keep your head screwed on and have confidence that you are now following a Sober lifestyle, your AV if he can't create cravings, creates a fear of cravings.

The guy is grasping at straws!!

ScottFromWI

Cravings can pop up any time. That's why it's important to work on your sobriety daily, even if just for a short time. It is true that some will relapse, even with years and years of sobriety - but most of the time it happens because they let up on their plan ( quit going to meetings, quit participating in forums, whatever their plan is ).

Knat84

You know, I got sober without AA. This forum has been a large help to me, however. But, maybe I do need to attend meetings. Just for insurance purposes! haha.

Thank you

ultradad

Hi Nat,

Relapse scares the crap out of me too! I've been using AA as my recovery plan and it has saved my life...that being said, I was at a speaker meeting a while back and the speaker had been sober 15 years when he relapsed! He stated that he in face had seen it coming due to his lack of attending meetings, working with others and such...my take on the whole ordeal was that the moment we take our eyes off the prize it can and will be stolen!

My cravings have been nill to none, so I feel blessed, but I know the day may come when it does come and I hope I'm still connected to AA and my higher power so I can see my way through! It really is a daily reprieve that we've been given!

The AA speaker did make it back and now has another 10 years I believe, but goes to show you we must stay vigilant! I think it's great that you recognize it and are willing to find a solution...all really good signs!