Sometimes I think my HP's will is for me to drink
 

Does anyone else ever feel this way? There have been so many mornings where I got down on my knees and prayed to my HP to keep me away from a drink that day. And I've drank.

I know it's hard. And, I know praying helps, but you also need to take action. What can you do differently today so you have a different outcome? You can do this.

Okay...this is probably touching on tricky territory given subject matter.
But God/HP/Creator/Universe...IMO...okay...
Doesn't reach down from the heavens and move mountains out of the way..
I will use the term "He" for lack of better one...

He speaks through you to HELP you move those mountains out of the way.
I think of him as the co-pilot..okay...Captain.
But I still got the instruments too...and I gotta know how to land that plane.

You're a team.

so why not ring someone up from aa if you feel like having a drink ? or get to a meeting ? i found these things worked for me
of course i would know what my sponsors answer would be or anyone else from aa answer would be so i would talk myself out of doing either if i wanted a drink

i found when i really honestly wanted to stay sober that i would do what was suggested i do ie ring people or get to a meeting and only then did it work for me

"Sometimes I think my HP's will is for me to drink"

That is never true.

A lot of things made me feel like I wanted to drink. To finally get sober I had to unconditionally accept that no matter what anyone or anything told me, I absolutely could not pick up the first drink - period.

When you say your HP, i'm guessing that you are referring in the sense of a 12 step program? If so, you may want to revisit step one with your sponsor for some help.

"Sometimes I think my HP's will is for me to drink "

if that is the will of yer HP, get another one.

gonna be a lil blunt here, but ya got a pretty huge part in this. its you that picks up the bottle, not yer HP.


what else besides prayin have ya done to not drink?
sittin in the garage all day wont make ya a car.

Thank you all. I haven't got a sponsor yet, which is why I sometimes vent on here. I'm afraid to Ask somebody to sponsor me. I've had a sponsor before, but she asked me if I needed a sponsor. She's since moved out of state. I'm hesitant to approach someone to ask if they'll be my sponsor because I don't like putting people on the spot...

that strikes me as an incredibly creative AV taking a line of logic I've not heard before.


:)

Don't let it fool ya.

The only one who really WANTs you to drink is the alcoholic part of your brain that craves the chemical hit it feels when you do.

Awesome.

The AA website has a pamphlet titled Q&A on Sponsorship ... it may help. :)

What else are you doing besides praying. I can pray all day long for a ham sandwich but I doubt my HP is going to give me one. What he will do is give me the tools to make one myself

He will do for me what I can not do for myself but not the things I can

The sponsor/sponsee relationship is one of the cornerstones of making AA work. You aren't putting anyone on the spot by asking - many are hoping you will ask as it's their opportunity to help someone else. If you ask someone who is unable because of other responsibilities, they will simply say that they can't and probably refer you to someone who can.

Try some medical help, talk to a doctor.... If you are not doing this for yourself, only your HP, then you are not doing it for thr right reason. YOU must be willing to be sober, just just hope pray..... Good luck.......!!!!

Thank you FreeOwl. Yes, my AV is incredibly creative and prolific. The Stephen king of reasons to drink.

ohhhhh...I like that.

Of course, he's been sober for many years :)

I can relate somewhat. major fear of being told,"no." fear of rejection.
guess what happened when I got me some courage?
I got a sponsor!

I don't believe that has anything to do with your "HP". That sounds like your "AV" (Addictive Voice), or beast (as I refer to it).

I don't care what religion or spiritual philosophy one may follow (and there are too many to name) not one encourages self harm.

You've got your AV's number. Creative, yes, but not creative enough to outsmart you. You can do this.