Serenidad

I can't do this alone! I NEED to be around other human beings face-to-face who have or are struggling with addiction. (Not that I don't love the people on SR) It's truly hell trying to do it alone surrounded by people who don't understand. (Not their fault).

I'm seriously considering going back to AA. The problem I am having right now is a deep resentment against many of the people there. They know I relapsed after almost 6 years of sobriety but why shut me out? They won't answer my calls, they won't call me back. I'm not drunk when I call! I'm asking for help.

I feel like I "left the Amish" & I am being shunned! Maybe I should just stop calling those people. I thought one of the things they always say is "whenever an alcoholic reaches out for help, the hand of AA will be there." Really? Funny!

All I know is I would do anything to help anyone & have so I don't understand. Should I go back? If so how do I go back without telling those people off? (4th & 5th step, right?) These people who are ignoring me used to claim to love me & be my best friends. Maybe they are worried about their own sobriety. Maybe they are just busy. Maybe they are dead. (Hope not) But it doesn't feel real welcoming right now.

As if I don't feel enough shame after relapsing after almost 6 years. I hope I am not breaking any forum rules...if so feel free to delete this or ban me. I'm used to being rejected in my life...starting with my own mother....so whatever.

It works if your work it, right? Keep coming back! :-/

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Dee74

Hi Serenidad
There's absolutely no shame at all in looking for more support.

Honestly? Right now it sounds like getting help needs to be your imperative.
Don't let pride or resentment stop you from getting that

D

ScottFromWI

I would just go to a meeting. None if the other stuff matters at this point. If there is another meeting nearby other than your regular group go there if it will help, but bottom line just go. Returning to drinking, even after a long period of time is very common unfortunately, and it's common and encouraged for those who have done so to return to their support group.

Carlotta

I would suggest that you go to a different group (maybe a step meeting?) or that you try Women For Sobriety if there is a group in your area read my last post in your thread :"confused" http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...onfused-3.html
You will need to start fresh and I feel that going back in a group whose people let you down in your time of need could be unhealthy and those resentments could trip you in early sobriety.
As far as people not picking up their phones and helping you (unless you are leaving something out) this is absolutely not cool and not what AA is about.
I always pick up my phone and I am always glad to take someone to a meeting or just chat with them and I know that the other women in my home group are the same way.
A member of my old home group relapsed after some years and I remember us trying to 12 step him, bringing him to detoxes, encouraging him to show up at the meeting whether he was drinking or not. Unfortunately, our friend never made it back and hemorraged to death: he was only 42
This has been my experience in AA but I think a lot has to do with the group you belong too and some groups are healthier than others.
Start fresh with a new group and look up WFS

biminiblue

I agree, get back to meetings. There will be new friends. If your old contacts aren't calling you back, it's not necessarily you: you know that - right?

Just keep going back. If you get some time under your belt, the ones who are in the program will welcome you back with open arms. Just go. It's your life and your sobriety.

Mountainmanbob

It's probably a good idea. After my many relapses I always went back to AA and found in short time all there welcoming.

Sometimes we drunks easily get resentments. We need not let our resentments hold us back from what might be encouragement for us.

Mountainman

ultradad

Principles before personalities! Try a different meeting location, group or just walk in there with your head held high! This is YOUR life and when it comes to recovery sometimes we have to be selfish, if that makes sense. NO WAY I could do it alone...there's quite a few meetings in my area so I've been to most locations and there's one group that I really just don't care for, I kept searching until I found one I like.

Don't let anyone keep you away from the solution!

Thepatman

Go back and stand proud. Doesn't matter if or what people might think of you. This about you, if some members have time to waste with gossiping then they are not worth a second of your attention.

Go for it!

Anna

I don't use AA, but my suggestion would be to go back go a meeting and focus on yourself, rather than the people you used to know there. Take care of you.