New around here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: FL
Posts: 16
New around here
Hey all. Been lurking for a few days. I'm 7 days sober and really could use some support from people who understand. I got sober for two years a couple of years ago using CBT but then wanted to be "normal" and moderate. You all know how that went right? 
It escalated. I didn't quite make it back to the amounts I was drinking before daily but I was well on my way. Waking up with fear and dread and an upset stomach each day and disgusted with myself. Something just clicked. I had it. I'm done.
This choice feels waaay different than my first quit. The first quit I wanted to drink but wouldn't let myself but this time I don't want it. At all. In that respect it is going well except that I'm so emotional. My husband tries to be supportive but he doesn't really understand recovery and has never had a problem with addiction. I feel like he thinks I'm a crazy woman and he says that is not so but it sure sucks to feel like an intermittent crying mess around someone y'know?
I've been fairly isolated online and offline since I have problems with social anxiety but I'm tired of hiding too so here I am. I look forward to getting to know you guys!
It escalated. I didn't quite make it back to the amounts I was drinking before daily but I was well on my way. Waking up with fear and dread and an upset stomach each day and disgusted with myself. Something just clicked. I had it. I'm done. This choice feels waaay different than my first quit. The first quit I wanted to drink but wouldn't let myself but this time I don't want it. At all. In that respect it is going well except that I'm so emotional. My husband tries to be supportive but he doesn't really understand recovery and has never had a problem with addiction. I feel like he thinks I'm a crazy woman and he says that is not so but it sure sucks to feel like an intermittent crying mess around someone y'know?
I've been fairly isolated online and offline since I have problems with social anxiety but I'm tired of hiding too so here I am. I look forward to getting to know you guys!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
cheer up sleepyjean. You're not the first - or the last - to figure out the hard way that we just can't control our drinking.
Congrats on a week and that you made the decision to quit for good this time.
Welcome to the forum.
Congrats on a week and that you made the decision to quit for good this time.
Welcome to the forum.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome to SR! 
Congrats on a week sober, and your decision to start living a sober life.
One week in I was a hot mess - irritable and moody all the time. It gets better, give it time and do the things you need to do to feel good about your sober life.
Congrats on a week sober, and your decision to start living a sober life.
One week in I was a hot mess - irritable and moody all the time. It gets better, give it time and do the things you need to do to feel good about your sober life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Long Island NY
Posts: 105
Hi Sleepyjean,
My fiance does not understand addiction either so he encourages me to go on SR and post with people who understand. He is very supportive also but like you I think he must think I am nuts. GO easy on yourself and let the feelings flow. A supportive husband is nice to have by your side. Congrats on 7 days.
My fiance does not understand addiction either so he encourages me to go on SR and post with people who understand. He is very supportive also but like you I think he must think I am nuts. GO easy on yourself and let the feelings flow. A supportive husband is nice to have by your side. Congrats on 7 days.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR SleepyJean. You are not alone, most of us have been down the moderation road many times and found the same dead end you did. SR is a great place to share and learn, glad you chose to join in. Congrats on your week sober as well, that's no small feat and you should be proud.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Welcome, Sleepyjean. You will find a lot of support and helpful advice from the good people here. This place has been instrumental in helping me stay sober for the last 10 months. My life has gotten so much better. Now, I actually look forward to the 6 o'clock alarm.
Good luck on your sober journey. I am glad you are here with us.
Good luck on your sober journey. I am glad you are here with us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: FL
Posts: 16
Thanks for the warm welcome you guys! That first post is always a little nerve wracking for me but you guys are a friendly bunch. Yes, I have learned my moderation lesson for sure. For me, "normal" and alcohol do not work. I'll be glad when this emotional soup settles but I'll take it. It means I'm sober and feeling my feelings and that is a good thing.
Yes, I have learned my moderation lesson for sure. For me, "normal" and alcohol do not work. I'll be glad when this emotional soup settles but I'll take it. It means I'm sober and feeling my feelings and that is a good thing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,840
Welcome, sleepyjean, to SR, and congratulations on one week. You have a lot of company here, especially when it comes to attempts at moderation. I couldn't moderate either though I desperately wanted to; I failed every single time.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Welcome, sleepyjean! I'm on day 6 so I can relate to a lot of what you're saying about having been sober and then thinking you could moderate. And yep, I know exactly how that went! You've come to the right place for helpful support, advice, and just people who are willing to listen. Glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Welcome aboard.
Tried the moderation train many times, but it always failed and in many ways had the opposite effect, because once I realized I couldn't moderate, I sort of "re-committed" to drinking even heavier than ever. My AV convinced me that is just "who I was," a load of bull. Congrats on 7 days, it does get easier
Tried the moderation train many times, but it always failed and in many ways had the opposite effect, because once I realized I couldn't moderate, I sort of "re-committed" to drinking even heavier than ever. My AV convinced me that is just "who I was," a load of bull. Congrats on 7 days, it does get easier
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: FL
Posts: 16
You guys are awesome. Thanks for the warm welcome and the understanding. I'm feeling better tonight. Got a walk in this evening which helped too. Now that I'm looking back I can be honest with myself and admit that I thought drinking was just a bad habit and if I got sober I could learn to moderate like a "normal" person. My AV is slick. I know now that moderation is not an option for me and I'm really OK with never drinking again.
Thanks for the video Aarryckha. I've always liked that song. Saw the Monkees reunion tour in high school. One of my guilty pleasures.
Thanks for the video Aarryckha. I've always liked that song. Saw the Monkees reunion tour in high school. One of my guilty pleasures.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Welcome to SR and congratulations on seven days. That's great. I thought Daydream Believer when I saw your name. I unapologetically like that song.
I was a crazy woman at around seven days. Everything up and down and quickly changing. It will level out as you get used to not drinking.
Hang around here for support. It really helped me a lot in the early days and still does.
I was a crazy woman at around seven days. Everything up and down and quickly changing. It will level out as you get used to not drinking.
Hang around here for support. It really helped me a lot in the early days and still does.
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