Chance2

Hello agin, sorry but I want to get completely out of my head as I cannot stand the constant negativity - it drives me crazy- why not say to yourself do what ever you want and it does not matter???! Instead of trying to be someone else? I know, I am here .

Chance2

I have spent many a night tooting and forcing and now I think fxxx it- I am going to embrace myself... Is this meds or reality? We are whT we are- we cannot live forever!!!!!!

Chance2

Am just being honest- I want to drink!!!!!!!!! I fxxxxxxxx want to drink- why? I am sick an tired of pretending. I have the most beautiful husband- teetotal - I adore him and if it was not for him I would drink into oblivion- but he tells me, holds me , understands me so I try- I love him the problem is I do not love me...

mecanix

Hi Chance ,
I often feel sobriety is a two pronged approach , not drinking is the hard first thing to do , then we need to work on how we deal with living a sober life and learn to deal with the feelings we have in a healthy way.

It is possible and you can do it .

What support do you have ? is it enough ?

Bestwishes, m

Dee74

Try some of these ideas Chance:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

It's uncomfortable, but you can get through and be stronger for it
D

Chance2

Hi, thanks for your response - I have prosac, this forum and a therapist- problem is I have had therapist off and on for ages and she admitted she cNt help me unless I engage in treatment or aa- she thinks going away for 6 weeks would be good. I do not Gree as went 13 years Ago.. So I came here and I'd do find it helpfull- I am here everyday as a reminder but the insanity still rules... It has got worse in the last 6 months, prior to that 3 to 4 days of 4-5 pints Guinness then home- now I stay up till morning once a week talking to myself or sending weird messages... Vx

Chance2

Hi dee, I read dr George,s blog- he finishes by saying if you can,t help but ride that wave do it on you own terms and enjoy the hell out of it! I have tried abstinence, moderation but I have never tried guilt free. This is new for me as prosac stops your anxiety and you don,t have guilt (thus far) but still early days, so I thought I would try a new approach. Th other means loosing all contact with friends as they all drink! Telling in itself... Lots to think about.. Thanks Vx

Chance2

Hi mechanix, I noticed you re in london too- is there a group to go to that is secular/ non aa? V

Dee74

With all respect to Dr George, giving into the urge when it's alcohol could be life or death for any of us.

My own understanding of urge surfing means that you ride the urge out until gone
I'm not sure how effective it would have been for me if I'd rode the wave all the way to the off licence for example lol

I did have to change my life tho - pretty fundamentally. My old life was all about getting drunk.
If I can do it after 20 years, you can too V

D

Chance2

Yes, I would have to change my life- was out with best friend who I have known for 30 years and as usual wine was a part- main part as she was down not that I complained- I realised when i got home I need to stop seeing her- I did not for 3 weeks and was sober- not her fault but I associate her with alcohol....

Dee74

yeah - it seems like a huge change but just take it day by day...thats all any of us can do

D

Chance2

If there was no one else on planet earth I would ride the wave; unfortunately reality is more complicated and there are others to think about... So tiring.. So good and not..

PurpleKnight

If I embraced things and went with the flow I would be dead in a box by aged 40 . . . now that may be me following my own desires (addiciton) but what about my family, how would they feel burying a son/brother at a young age, what about my work colleagues, my below par performance for the coming years, what about giving something back to life, living to our potential, rather than sitting drinking on my own in my house every evening.

Addiction is not only about ourselves!!