Here we go again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 18
Here we go again.
Had my first drink at 16. Was drinking on the weekends and my performance was suffering in sports and creativity (I was a cartoonist for school paper). Then I finished high school and went straight to work. By then I had an older cousin who got us beer every weekend. When I hit 21, it was turning to every day. I remember thinking, well, why not? And just had bottles in my parents basement. I had a girlfriend who I moved out with and it last 1 night because of my drunken rage. I soon ended up back in my parents after partying it up with friends often. No money and no plans, I finally decided to do something. So I got a degree. Even that could have went better if not for the bottle. I would drink 2 40's every night and ended up on the bathroom floor at times. Ending up on the floor happened often with me.
I got a DUI at 23. I totaled my car that I worked so hard to have. I have been punched at strip clubs after I've passed out (luckily I was not killed), and most recently had a business trip where the company paid for all the booze. I am not very cool when I am wasted. I sadly did things I'm not proud of.
This is day one for me. I feel I am scared straight, but I know my ego will come back. I am sick of feeling like crap every day. I'm almost 36 and have really been struggling to quit the last couple years. The last couple years have been my true effort. This time I just feel it's different.
I am sick of texting my girlfriend and seeing the awful things I said the night before. I'm sick of embarrassing myself on Facebook with cloudy judgment. I'm sick of having a messy home and not bettering myself and dam do I want to get back into my creative side.
I feel as if Alcohol has destroyed me. I'm a "functioning" alcoholic sure, but who wants to just function. I am sick of hating myself.
I needed to vent. I know the first night is tough cause the shakes but I will suffer through it in hopes that it gets better.
Thank you for reading.
I got a DUI at 23. I totaled my car that I worked so hard to have. I have been punched at strip clubs after I've passed out (luckily I was not killed), and most recently had a business trip where the company paid for all the booze. I am not very cool when I am wasted. I sadly did things I'm not proud of.
This is day one for me. I feel I am scared straight, but I know my ego will come back. I am sick of feeling like crap every day. I'm almost 36 and have really been struggling to quit the last couple years. The last couple years have been my true effort. This time I just feel it's different.
I am sick of texting my girlfriend and seeing the awful things I said the night before. I'm sick of embarrassing myself on Facebook with cloudy judgment. I'm sick of having a messy home and not bettering myself and dam do I want to get back into my creative side.
I feel as if Alcohol has destroyed me. I'm a "functioning" alcoholic sure, but who wants to just function. I am sick of hating myself.
I needed to vent. I know the first night is tough cause the shakes but I will suffer through it in hopes that it gets better.
Thank you for reading.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 219
Good for you making a sincere effort to quit 
. I'm going to suggest making sobriety your highest priority in life right now, and be willing to put as much time into working for it each day as you've been putting into your alcoholism. For some people this means joining AA or another program.
For me it means spending hours each day doing things to make myself see alcohol in a negative way--- by reading this board, making a list of reasons to stop drinking and reading it three times a day, watching alcoholism documentaries on youtube, etc. Your mind can be re-conditioned to see alcohol as your enemy and not something to turn to.
. I'm going to suggest making sobriety your highest priority in life right now, and be willing to put as much time into working for it each day as you've been putting into your alcoholism. For some people this means joining AA or another program. For me it means spending hours each day doing things to make myself see alcohol in a negative way--- by reading this board, making a list of reasons to stop drinking and reading it three times a day, watching alcoholism documentaries on youtube, etc. Your mind can be re-conditioned to see alcohol as your enemy and not something to turn to.
Last edited by lovesymphony; 06-17-2014 at 12:30 PM. Reason: spelling
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Great to see you back here alne.
I drank like you too - but unfortunately I didn't have the good sense to stop at 36. Kept trying to manage the amounts I drank. The result was a life in ruins. Took me forever to dig my way out of the mess I created. That's when I found SR and knew I never had to be alone again. It meant everything to have people to turn to who understood. Glad you are giving sobriety another go. You can do it.
I drank like you too - but unfortunately I didn't have the good sense to stop at 36. Kept trying to manage the amounts I drank. The result was a life in ruins. Took me forever to dig my way out of the mess I created. That's when I found SR and knew I never had to be alone again. It meant everything to have people to turn to who understood. Glad you are giving sobriety another go. You can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 18
The plan.... Hmm... Well, I am walking a lot. I have dogs that need walking. I am cleaning a lot. This place is still a mess from deprivation. Then, maybe read. I have some reading on sobriety to do. I also want to get closer to God. Day 2 and I made it. Day 3 is where I always fall. Not this time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
why not join our Class of June support thread as well for more support?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-9.html
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-9.html
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 18
Well I will be amazed and proud waking up tomorrow not having had a drink. My routine is changing. After work, when I usually go mad with drinking, I have instead been cooking, then working or cleaning, then finishing my night with a swim at the athletic club. I have been taking long walks with my dogs and feel that I can call it a night.
It's been a long time since I've went three days sober.
It's been a long time since I've went three days sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Welcome Alne and well done. I found changing my routine to be very helpful in the beginning. Have you made plans for the weekend? For me, even though I drank every day, there was something different about weekends and the long stretches of free time.
I start mine by attending a Friday evening AA meeting and then follow up with checking the weekenders thread on here. I make plans to keep busy with activities and people that don't involve alcohol. If you are thinking about AA maybe see if there are any Friday evening meetings. Or Saturday night meetings? There are usually open speaker meetings on Saturdays where anyone can attend and you don't have to say anything, just sit and listen to someone else's share their story. Being around other people in sobriety is very helpful too.
Good job! Keep going!
I start mine by attending a Friday evening AA meeting and then follow up with checking the weekenders thread on here. I make plans to keep busy with activities and people that don't involve alcohol. If you are thinking about AA maybe see if there are any Friday evening meetings. Or Saturday night meetings? There are usually open speaker meetings on Saturdays where anyone can attend and you don't have to say anything, just sit and listen to someone else's share their story. Being around other people in sobriety is very helpful too.
Good job! Keep going!
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