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Old 06-15-2014, 11:29 AM
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Angry new member

I just joined this site. I have a husband that wont stop drinking and I am at my wits end. He is sneaky and a liar. I find vodka stashed all over the house. He will still swear he isnt drinking even reeking of alcohol. I don't know what to do anymore.
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Old 06-15-2014, 11:33 AM
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Hey done1, Welcome to the Forum!!

The problem with addiction is only the addict can make the decision to stop, no one can be forced to sort themselves out, so if he isn't thinking along those lines then he will continue to drink I'm afraid.

The only option is getting support for yourself, Al-Anon is a great place for friends and family of alcoholics, also here on SR you'll find plenty of support!!
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Old 06-15-2014, 11:42 AM
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I used to be the same. I hid vodka bottles from my GF and when she looked me dead in the eye and asked me if I had been drinking, I swore I wasn't. Of course, she could smell it on my breath but that didn't stop me from trying to convince her I was stone-cold sober. Vodka especially is used by 'sneaky' alcoholics as there is a myth that it has no odor. It may not smell as strong as whiskey or rum, but it still smells.

Hiding vodka bottles is a classic sign of alcoholism. You husband seems to be in denial and I encourage you to confront him about his problem before things get worse, because they will get worse.
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Old 06-15-2014, 11:57 AM
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Welcome to SR. Sorry to hear you are having troubles.

I was a sneaky liar when I was drinking, also. I would hide alcohol and drink it when no one was watching. I would usually have a public bottle (in plain site) and hidden bottles so I could say "Yeah, I've had a few (see, only a little bit missing from this bottle)" when in reality I was drinking quite a lot. This behavior is quite common for alcoholics.

You can't make him stop. He has to want to stop. Unfortunately that frequently comes when the negative consequences of continued drinking become intolerable to the drinker. Get yourself some support - talking with people in a similar situation can be a great comfort.

Best of Luck on this Journey.
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Old 06-15-2014, 12:01 PM
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He knows its a problem. When I say anything he says he is going to stop. Just give him one more chance. He will try harder. But he just tries harder to hide it. He has a dui and is on probation, supposed to be going to AA, which he does sometimes. He still drinks and drives because "I dont let him drink at home" He says he wants to stop but doesnt really try at all. He hangs out with another guy that srinks because hes his "good friend". He jas been to probably 4 rehabs in the past 5 years. It just seems hopeless. But here we are giving him one more chance.
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Old 06-15-2014, 12:02 PM
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Wow, I could be your husband. I was quite crafty at masking the smell. My SO said her biggest frustration was not being able to tell I was drinking unless she found bottles, or I admitted to it. It can be masked. I drank lots and lots of water and started munching on something immediately after a drink to cover the odor. Occasionally, my SO said she smelled something funny but I would lie my way out of it. She found hidden bottles several times, once when her parents from out of state were in town and all three of them saw it! It's a matter of guilt and shame on behalf of the alcoholic, and anger and frustration on behalf of their loved ones. He is in need of help, but I'm afraid it won't happen until he realizes and admits it. It has to be for him, or I'm afraid it will not last. My heart goes out to you. I caused my ex-SO untold anguish and frustration over this.
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Old 06-15-2014, 12:31 PM
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Welcome to SR done1. I've been on both sides of this thing and I sympathize greatly.

Have a look at our Friends & Families of Alcoholics forum here too - many have been through exactly the same thing you have.

I hope reading and posting here will give you some relief. We care.
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Old 06-15-2014, 03:13 PM
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Welcome! I'll just echo that a great place to start is Friends & Families of Alcoholics forum right here!!! Al anon has really helped my wife as well!

All the best!
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Old 06-15-2014, 03:24 PM
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Hi Done - I'm sorry for what brings you here, but I'm glad you found us

You'll find a lot of support and understanding in this forum as well as the other ones mentioned....finding the right support for you can really help you deal with this

welcome to SR
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