Newbie (back again)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 43
Newbie (back again)
I'm back again...finally. Had a major relapse. Jobs in my area have been crappy, therefore money's been questionable at times. Lost my (good paying) job back in January and have had to work a couple of not great PT jobs while keeping up with my career studies for programming. Wife and I were planning on moving to Colorado to be closer with family and help me obtain a much better job, but that fell through as soon as I lost my (good paying) job. The year's been shot ever since.
Only recently (like this past week), did I notice how far I had stepped away from my sobriety. I forgot to remind myself I was staying sober! How does THAT happen??? Past few months I started drinking beer again without giving it any consideration that I wasn't supposed to. It really did sneak up on me. Then I thought to myself this past week, "What are you DOING?" Complete shock. I had been doing good up until this past January and really had stopped thinking about sobriety because drinking just wasn't in my life anymore. Somewhere I must've thought, well, life sucks - be normal and get a case of beer and think about HOW much life sucks since you lost your job. That's what normal men do.
Well, I'm starting all over again. Stupid, stupid, stupid. If I look back over these months, wife and I started arguing more (more than we really do), job search hasn't been as proactive as it should be (I'm working now, but still looking for a better paying job so we can save to move out there to Denver and get out of Indiana). Little things that weren't a problem before have started becoming problems - all because I started drinking again. I'm truly shocked at how thoughtlessly I started it up again.
So now, I'm getting back to being a forward thinker, getting back into my good habits and a bit frightened at how it's going to be in this first week of sobriety again. I had the good sense to come here and start getting involved again and I think this time I stay involved in stead of thinking I've kicked it and I don't need to remind myself constantly. I'm watching movies, studying, working out, getting back into martial arts, reading more. I just bought a book on initial sobriety today that I should get sometime next week, so I have that to look forward to. This time I just plan to stay active with my sobriety and not let the beer sneak up on me again. Obviously, it can!
Only recently (like this past week), did I notice how far I had stepped away from my sobriety. I forgot to remind myself I was staying sober! How does THAT happen??? Past few months I started drinking beer again without giving it any consideration that I wasn't supposed to. It really did sneak up on me. Then I thought to myself this past week, "What are you DOING?" Complete shock. I had been doing good up until this past January and really had stopped thinking about sobriety because drinking just wasn't in my life anymore. Somewhere I must've thought, well, life sucks - be normal and get a case of beer and think about HOW much life sucks since you lost your job. That's what normal men do.
Well, I'm starting all over again. Stupid, stupid, stupid. If I look back over these months, wife and I started arguing more (more than we really do), job search hasn't been as proactive as it should be (I'm working now, but still looking for a better paying job so we can save to move out there to Denver and get out of Indiana). Little things that weren't a problem before have started becoming problems - all because I started drinking again. I'm truly shocked at how thoughtlessly I started it up again.
So now, I'm getting back to being a forward thinker, getting back into my good habits and a bit frightened at how it's going to be in this first week of sobriety again. I had the good sense to come here and start getting involved again and I think this time I stay involved in stead of thinking I've kicked it and I don't need to remind myself constantly. I'm watching movies, studying, working out, getting back into martial arts, reading more. I just bought a book on initial sobriety today that I should get sometime next week, so I have that to look forward to. This time I just plan to stay active with my sobriety and not let the beer sneak up on me again. Obviously, it can!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by badger1172 
I just bought a book on initial sobriety today that I should get sometime next week, so I have that to look forward to.
the AA Big Book also explains alcoholism all so well
no one needs to attend meetings to read that one
Mountainman
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
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