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-   -   I know its a cop out but...... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/335112-i-know-its-cop-out-but.html)

donz 06-12-2014 01:43 PM

I know its a cop out but......
 
I have signed up for Dry July, its a challenge to go the month of July without a drink, I want to go the rest of my life without a drink but I don't know how to tell people as the drinking culture in Australia is such that I will probably be branded "boring and 'no fun if I tell my peers the truth!
My parents know the truth and they support me and I know the friends that matter will support me but I'm still apprehensive about talking out loud a about it.
I watched a TV program called Insight this week and it was about alcohol and it really bought home the fact that I am not alone in my drinking issues....

ScottFromWI 06-12-2014 01:49 PM

Sounds like a good plan to me Donz. You are under no obligation to tell anyone anyting about your decision to not drink, it's frankly none of their business anyway. You hit the nail on the head with 'The friends that matter will support me" - the rest are probably not real friends anyway, just drinking buddies. It's tough to sever ties, but when all you have in common with someone is drinking and you aren't drinking anymore there's not much to talk about.

PurpleKnight 06-12-2014 01:50 PM

You gotta decide how important to you is it, alcohol was damaging my life, was that more important than being branded a few labels by the people I knew? Being told I was boring was a better compromise than ending up in a box at an early age, though keep in mind you don't need to broadcast it, it's up to you who you mention it to, but there still will be some conversations with those you regularly drink with.

You gotta work out which is more important to you!!

You'll find loads of support here on SR, plenty of us have felt the same feelings and had to make similar decisions!! :)

Raider 06-12-2014 01:50 PM

You sound young, us old people are boring and no fun also.....you know, this journey is so difficult without any distractions or drama. Add your concern about being boring and no fun! Forget about that nonsense, you have to take care of your self now. Lean on your family and let's get this done already.

AlcoholFree66 06-12-2014 01:53 PM

Hey donz - well done! Quitting drinking is something to be proud of! I've really seen how alcoholism just gets worse over the years.

Chilledice 06-12-2014 01:54 PM


Originally Posted by Raider (Post 4712801)
You sound young, us old people are boring and no fun also.....you know, this journey is so difficult without any distractions or drama. Add your concern about being boring and no fun! Forget about that nonsense, you have to take care of your self now. Lean on your family and let's get this done already.


This right here!

donz 06-12-2014 03:25 PM

Hi again, Im 38, not sure if that is considered young!
I decided a long time ago that I have a problem with alcohol, I just needed the courage to address my issue....the culture I am surrounded in is very much a drinking culture, a single woman in Sydney with a decent income finds herself at whisky tasting functions, winery tours, wine festivals, etc....what I meant about telling other people is simply that they will know from the onset that there is something 'not right' if im not drinking and if I tell them I am an alcoholic it may very well cause offence to my friends as they may think that if I have a problem, do they?
Dry July is just an easy transition into a bigger change.
I hope I make sense, I'm not trying to be annoying, I guess I just started this thread as means to think out loud because I'm not ready to talk to anyone in person about it yet...

PurpleKnight 06-12-2014 03:31 PM

I totally understand where you're coming from . . . I come from Ireland!! :help

Somehow I managed to survive Xmas, New Year's and our National drinking party of the year, St Patrick's day completely Sober.

Transition is a good way forward, but at some point as long as you realise your going to have to tell someone "I'm not drinking today" . . . offending people won't come into it, as the priority will be your health and your life, other people's feelings should come very much second to a change you are making for the better in your life.

SR though is a great place for support to get you through!! :)

Jupiters 06-12-2014 03:33 PM

maybe tell them you are on some medication that would conflict with booze????
or you're trying to lose weight?

LOL I dunno. I'm at the point where I don't really care who knows about my problem, I'm just glad I FINALLY realized I had one! :D

hang in there! (I'm 37, will be 38 in Dec, so let's go with that's young ok? ;))

donz 06-12-2014 03:37 PM

Haha. Thanks jupiter!

Raider 06-12-2014 03:40 PM

Yes you are young :). I stand by my post.

grubby 06-12-2014 03:42 PM


Originally Posted by donz
I have signed up for Dry July, its a challenge to go the month of July without a drink, I want to go the rest of my life without a drink but I don't know how to tell people as the drinking culture in Australia is such that I will probably be branded "boring and 'no fun if I tell my peers the truth!
My parents know the truth and they support me and I know the friends that matter will support me but I'm still apprehensive about talking out loud a about it.
I watched a TV program called Insight this week and it was about alcohol and it really bought home the fact that I am not alone in my drinking issues....

I believe that "Dee" guy who is on here sometimes is an Aussie, he might be able to advise you on this.

donz 06-12-2014 03:50 PM

Thanks grubby, ill keep an eye out!
I think that perhaps I may have come across wrong in my post and I apologise. Hopefully next post will make a little more sense. Thank you for the support everyone!

least 06-12-2014 03:53 PM

You could start your sobriety now, sort of "practicing" for July...;)

Dee74 06-12-2014 05:52 PM


Originally Posted by grubby (Post 4713049)
I believe that "Dee" guy who is on here sometimes is an Aussie, he might be able to advise you on this.

I'm an Aussie all the time actually Grubby :D

Donz, it is hard when all your mates are hard drinkers - from around 18 until I quit at 40, I got sucked back into the drinking culture more times than I care to admit.

In the end my drinking nearly killed me and I knew I had to make changes to my lifestyle - and that included what I did for fun and who I hung around.

I used to think everyone drank like I did - and everyone I knew did. Where better to hide your alcoholism than in a group of hard drinkers or alcoholics?

Since quitting I've learned that there's a whole group of people - your age and mine (I'm nearly 50 now) - who hardly drink at all...one two drinks tops.

Those where the friends I left behind when I started drinking in earnest and I reconnected with them.

I made new friends too - friends who only know me as a non drinker - by getting back into hobbies and interests I have.

It's entirely possible to be a red blooded Aussie bloke and not drink...just takes a willingness to change, and a willingness to think outside the box a little.

I hope your dry July goes well...I reckon it might be even better if you start now and get a couple of dry weeks in as a run up :)

D

Ruby2 06-12-2014 09:11 PM

I don't think that opting in on Dry July is a cop out. It must have its purpose if there is an actual campaign to join dry July. Is it to try to get people to be more aware of their alcohol consumption? Is it a fundraiser?

I think it is great incentive to stay sober. Are there activities for dry July? You could do a lot of fun things with a bunch of people who are pledged to stay sober for the month.

When it's over you could tell people, if they ask, that you kind of liked being sober and want to keep it up.

donz 06-12-2014 09:34 PM

You read my mind Ruby as thats exactly what I had planned to do, I will start early too and ill try and get the couragw to go to meetings ☺

Dee74 06-12-2014 09:40 PM

You can google 'Dry July' Ruby.

There is a fundraising component so we can't fundraise, or link to it, here.

D

hardhearts 06-12-2014 09:55 PM

I am in my twenties and pretty much in the college scene at the moment, it is hard to be sober in a drinking culture for sure. I find that if I order something like a tonic water with lime, I can avoid questions and badgering from others. Of course, with my close friends I am honest, but having that "drink" in my hand also deters pushy strangers from offering to buy me a drink and acquaintances from judging me as "boring" or "too good" without knowing. In general as far as early sobriety goes, I stay away from old haunts and social situations that might trigger me, but there are also things I am not willing to miss out on - grad parties, birthdays, etc. Just my thoughts.

DisplacedGRITS 06-12-2014 11:11 PM

Look, i got sober for the first time in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. You wanna talk about drinking culture? There were at least 3 breweries (big ones, not craft beers) within a 5 mile radius of my house. I had to pass 4 or 5 bars in the 5 blocks it took to walk to my AA meeting. Our baseball team is the Brewers who play at Miller Park! The drinking culture in Milwaukee was amazing. The good think is, i think the result of this was an amazing AA culture.

You are the culture you surround yourself with. You can hang with people who can't stand someone who doesn't drink or you can hang with people whose enjoyment of life isn't effected by someone else's sobriety. You can be a fun teetotaler. Or not. That all depends on your attitude and how you approach sobriety.


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