hokey

My opinion only ... people who aren't alcoholics don't ask that question.
If you want to quit drinking this forum is an excellent place to be.

SoberHoopsFan

I wouldn't worry about labels or tests. Is alcohol causing significant negative consequences in your life, whether health, legal, broken relationships, work, etc.? It was for me. That's why I decided I needed to stop drinking, for good. If you're in the same boat, this site is a good resource, welcome aboard.

coraltint

If you go again, try really hard to focus on things that sound familiar to you as a drinker who's had problems with it. It's really easy to find things wrong with a club to which you don't want to belong.

If you are an alcoholic, eventually somebody in a meeting is going to say something that you will relate to. If you're dead set against being there, though, you won't hear it.

I believe the some of the other methods mentioned have ways of "calming the mind", but you'd have to chat with someone from that part of the forum.

Any way you choose, good luck! Once let go, I don't miss my attachment to booze, or the hangovers & car issues one bit.

Wastinglife

People who don't have a problem with alcohol never have to wonder if they do. They don't have to 'test' themselves. They don't even think about it because it's not an issue for them. However, problem drinkers will try to moderate because alcohol has started to have consequences of some sort.

ScottFromWI

Well, then tell her it doesn't calm your mind and see if she has an other suggestions. Psychiatrists have opinions too, you don't have to agree with all of them.

FreeOwl

Chambo...

I'd encourage you to look for the things you DO relate to at AA meetings, and just allow the things you don't relate to just to be what they are.

A lot of what you see there as diehard commitment to certain tenets is coming from those who have traveled down a longer, harder road than you have. You can think of them as your possible future.... you can look to them as potentially pictures of just exactly where you could wind up if indeed you're alcoholic and choose to continue walking your path with booze.

You're here. You sometimes blackout. You sometimes lose your car.

On your presence and your statements alone, I'm pretty sure that a part of you knows the answer to the question.

If you're looking for feedback, mine would be this;

Keep coming here. Keep going to AA. Try stopping for a while altogether. Look for the parallels between your own experience and those you see and hear around the tables and here. Then, get really really honest with yourself.

You have the answer to your question.

And welcome.

Sasha4

There is a saying about take what you need and leave the rest that you can apply to AA.
Don't listen to the differences, listen to the similarities.
I was the same as you before I stopped.
I had not lost my car, lost my job, my home, my family.......
To which I was told the answer to that is 'yet'.
I have probably not said that in the best way it was said to me.
If someone could correct me, maybe it might be more impactful for you?

But really does it matter?
The fact is you are here seeking advice on an addiction website.
Drinking obviously makes you unhappy.
Do you need a label to stop?
Is the fact that drink makes you unhappy all the evidence you need to stop?

I really wish you the best xx

Serper2014

I'm subscribed to this thread and everytime I get the email I can't help but to think of the Futurama Fry Meme "Not sure if Alcoholic or just acting my age"

cl9000

"Take what you want and leave the rest" is generally the line with AA, and it's worth keeping in mind even if someone in AA says something matter-of-factly "as if Jesus wrote it." Most meetings I've ever been to have had perfectly nice, cool people who aren't going to try to preach to you, and every once in a while someone shares something that's truly inspiring even if you don't drink the AA Kool-aid. I don't go to meetings any more personally because of a lot of the reasons you mention, but if you're seeking answers to whether you have a problem, I think it's a good idea to stay focused on the issue and keep an open mind to all avenues of recovery that are available. I believe only you can decide if you have a problem that's negatively affecting your life, and you owe it to yourself to find out.

To answer your question though… Sure, I could control my drinking… if I cared to try. Personally, I've only ever drank with the intention of getting drunk. That's the whole point for me. There have been a few occasions where I only had one or two beers in social situations, but I don't even refer to that as "drinking." Drinking for me is what most other people would call getting drunk. One or two beers, I might as well be drinking club soda.

Cowgirlie

I think this site is hugely beneficial whether you are an 'actual' alcoholic, or 'just' a problem/heavy/binge drinker... I'm not 100% sure what I am, and may be able to moderate/control in future if/when I test myself. But I know I needed to act now and change my overall attitude/approach to alcohol, not because it I'm in any immediate trouble, but because I recognise my relationship with it is not healthy, and becoming less healthy over time. I'm so glad I'm here, testing myself to be sober. I don't know anything about AA and recovery programmes/approaches really, but very best of luck to you and a big welcome

Dee74

Hi Chambo

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

if AA's not your scene there's no reason not to try one of the many many alternative and non 12 step approaches.

Do some research and find an approach that speaks to you - between you and me, I think that's a better application of your energy than recounting your grievances with AA

D

EndGameNYC

It never occurred to me to try to control my drinking. It seems like torture to me, and what would be the point? But the only time I actually did control my drinking was when I didn't pick up the first drink.

hardhearts

I didn't relate to a whole lot in the Doctor's Opinion either, until it was explained to me in a different sort of way. The allergy is the inability to drink like other people, when alcohol enters our body there is no telling how we will react to it. As far as a craving, it's not so much physical for many people (though for some it is) as it is mental - once you have one, you need to have another (and another, and another...) etc.

I have never tried controlled drinking. I was questioning my powerlessness early on and thought about it, but it scared me. I know I could toe the line until I didn't want to anymore and then there was no telling. But that's the thing - I could control my drinking if I needed to, except I hated it. It made me angry; I'd go home annoyed because I found no freedom in only a few drinks (even "controlled" I could never have just one). I used to say that I'd never buy mixed drinks or beer because they didn't work fast enough, were for pussies. Only straight up liquor. My intention was always to get drunk as quickly as possible.

Anyway, if AA is not working for you, there are many other resources out there. I am not as familiar with them but I know that many people on here have found great success using other programs.

pupkin

Chambo, do you have anything else that you do that helps calm your mind? Other than while drinking, when are you most at peace?

Eddiebuckle

I didn't really crave much either, perhaps because I never went long without a drink. And I did struggle at first with being comfortable with AA, in retrospect I believe because I didn't want to be one of "those people."

However you choose to proceed is entirely up to you, but if you are an alcoholic I can assure you that it is not something that gets better over time. If AA isn't your cup of tea, try some of the alternatives. There's no wrong way to get sober so long as you aren't drinking. And if you find it difficult to stay stopped, that's a pretty solid sign you are an alcoholic.

Chambo

Been drinking 1-2 glasses of red wine a night for the past month. No problems.

ScottFromWI

Are you seeking advice or just sharing?

biminiblue

Are you looking for some kind of feedback about that?

I did the one-or-two-a-day for a long time. Then I didn't. Then I couldn't.


What brought you here in the first place? Did you at some point feel alcohol was a problem?

DoubleDragons

Honestly, I learned what I thought was moderate drinking really isn't, as related to my fellow USA citizens. The average American has 2.5 drinks per month. I don't think daily drinking is great for anyone's body or mind, alcoholic or not. JMO

Chambo

I started the thread about a month ago and just following up on how I am doing. It says in the Big Book (and I am paraphrasing) if you can drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to you. I am now drinking like a gentleman :-)

In short, do not believe I am a "real alcoholic"...