Either I quit today or my body will!
 

hello

I've never been one to claim "it's day 1!" on here because i knew damn well it wasn't. I knew Day 1 would be someday, just not today.

Well today is Day 1. My body is sending me a clear message that it's not going to last much longer if i don't let myself heal. Here's the deal: I'm 32 and i've drank heavily since 20. Drinking used to be a once-a-week kind of thing in college. fast forward 12 years, it's an everyday binge.

I've been in denial about my health for a long time. I've known that I was a ticking time bomb, but that I was ok for now. After all, I just went on a rigorous hike in the heat the other day! Sick people can't do that!

Sure, my fertility is messed up and we can't concieve..it's probably my diet!:lala

Well, i can't ignore it anymore. I woke at 6 am today with horrible upper abdominal pain that is just now starting to ease up. This is the worst it's ever been, but it's been happening for a long time. Early morning stomach cramping that wakes me up, forcing myself to gag for relief, dull pains that come and go.

It's too late to go to the Dr. today, but i don't need a professional to tell me Stop. Drinking. You. Idiot. Can anyone relate to this stomach pain?

So, it's Day 1. It's going to suck. Thanks for listening...

Glad you are making the move!!

Yep I had that kind of pain as well. At the end end I was vomiting bile and had blood in my you know what.

Seing your doctor is a good idea I think

It all starts with a Day 1!! We've all been there, you can do this!! :)

I think it's a good idea too. I actually half-assed attempted to quit last year and got an Rx for librium. They worked wonderfully for me, but my heart wasn't in it. i wasn't "there" yet. i think and hope I am now.

Normally, at this time (1:50pm) i'd be planning when, where, and how soon can i get my hands on some alcohol, and the excuses in my head would be flowing. "My anxiety is bad today" "I'll just have 1 now" blah blah. now would be when i'd start craving. Thankfully I'm not there yet today.

i need to figure out how to handle it when that time comes.

I hate to go internet diagnosing, but upper abdominal pain from alcohol abuse might be acute pancreatitis, which can sometimes go very badly.

Whatever the details, your body is trying to tell you that the party's over. If alcohol was a mountain, you climbed it. Time to put the cork in the bottle and find some new hobbies.

I've been scaring myself on the internet all morning. I've already convinced myself i have gastritis, pancreatitus, and gall stones. Luckily, it feels a lot better than it did earlier. If the pain was at the same level after 8 hours i'd be at Urgent Care.

but i will keep an eye on it.

Dolores, thank you for posting. It was good to see this as a reminder.

I stopped drinking for the same reason almost a week ago. Different symptoms but same story: If I keep drinking, I won't live too much longer.

Good that you are mindful of your typical cycles and habits. Look into AVRT and urge-surfing as skills to learn.

Short explanation: The part of your mind that goes "Whee!" even though the rest of yourself goes "Oh no!" is your Addictive Voice (AV). It's only a voice. Learn how to recognize it and ignore it every time. Pay no attention to the clever drunk behind the curtain.

Urges come and go. No immediate action needed. Detach and observe. They will pass. Go do something for a few minutes that needs your attention to help distract you.

I would also say that just reading SR is very helpful to me.

Best wishes for your health and recovery!

welcome !!! so happy to hear you are listening to your body - I find I ignored it when it was basically yelling, screaming and bashing me over the head to stop abusing it.

Please do pay attention to your pain and level of it. I think another poster mentioned acute pancreatitis...I have a friend who suffered from this (yah, from boozin') so please please do just monitor how you are feeling!!
You found a GREAT forum. I'm new here myself (one month sober today!) and I cannot tell you how amazing this board and it's members are.
:D

Word for word what I was going through at the end. Once my gums started bleeding too, I knew I was done. I think there's a limit in the number lies we can tell ourselves, or symptoms we can turn a blind eye to.

I've heard multiple times how much worse women are when it comes to alcohol abuse, my heart goes out to all the women who are suffering with this disease.

Hi DoloresHaze. The body is usually pretty good at sending out messages and warning signals. Giving up alcohol sounds like a wise move, as does seeing your doctor very soon.

Dr.Google cannot replace the true assessment your doctor can make; your symptoms can be manifestations for a great number of diseases; the only way to truly know what is going on is to go to the doctor and have the prescribed tests.

Hope you keep posting; rooting for you, DoloresHaze.

I also underestimated the level of denial in my life when I was drinking.

I'm very glad to know that you've made a decision to live a sober life.

I'm glad you've decided to stop drinking. :)

For me my body finally revolted. I was at work and went into acute withdrawal and was close to death. After a short ER visit they stabilized me and I went home. The next day I was drinking again. That was the end. I saw a Doc came clean and sought professional treatment and started AA. My liver and blood pressure were toast but 3 months of sobriety brought everything came back to normal but I am certain of brain damage.

The reality is alcohol wants you dead, incarcerated, or institutionalizated.

We have another option and that is staying sober today. We can get out of hell and rejoin the human race. It is not easy but it is possible as many here can attest.

We simply do not have to drink anymore

Proud of you for coming to this conclusion Dolores. You'll be so much happier without it in your life. :hug:

I'm really glad to hear this Dolores :)
I hope you'll see a Dr too, just to be safe.

D

I think you should seek out all the help you can get. Go to meetings?

Day 1 for me too, stay strong.