Day 1 again. And I was doing pretty well for a while...
 

I'm annoyed with myself, I decided to drink after seeing other people sat in the sun enjoying thier drinks. I bought into the 'I can moderate' myth yet again. Sooo, nearly a full boottle of scotch and a few ciders later, here I am again - day 1.

well, crap.

glad to see you back here though!

(it wasn't as 'fun' as it looked, was it?)

:D

Happy Day One!!!

:ring:ring

welcome back!

Dont be too hard on yourself, you made it back thats all you need to focus on so be proud of that!

One day at a time.

L x

Welcome back James. Try to remember its a myth next time you romanticize it.

Sobriety is the offering again today. Take it and hold on today.

Aw, James! But you're straight back on here so that shows guts and determination. Rooting for you. Maybe post here next time, if you can, when you start feeling the pull? :)

Welcome back, James. Seeing people enjoying drinks in the sun often plays tricks with my mind. For me the reality is sitting in the sun for one (alone, not socially!) Before ending up in the supermarket buying bottles, shutting myself indoors drinking to blackout, then passing out. Before waking up on the couch the next morning wishing the sun would go away as I have a disgusting hangover and am full of guilt shame and dread.

I play the tape to the end, and think of the consequences. It's not worth it.

Pick yourself up, it's a new day :) you can do this

Thanks, and no, it's never as much fun as it looks. In fact, it was horrible dark chaos like it always is these days.

Hi Headlump, yeah it was a blip that's all - straight back on the wagon. I hate drinking and knew it was a mistake as soon as I had the first taste. But that was it, trapped in the passanger seat while the lunatic takes the wheel.

I can certainly relate James. Seeing people sitting on a patio drinking in the sun is a huge trigger for me. We had a brutal winter here in Canada so now that the summer weather is here, people are moving outside in droves wearing shorts and flip-flops getting drunk in the sun. However, most people can have a few until the sun goes down and they stop for the evening. I will continue the drinking well into the night.

It's in the past James, today is a new day, keep going at it at you'll get there!! :)

It's the same with me, I can't stop once I start. I couldn't really even enjoy the first couple because I knew what was coming - the chaos and horrible dark mood that accompanies my drinking.

Well, I am not entirely sure how long you had been sober but the fact that you are back on here says that you aren't giving up and that is great!

I tried to quit at some point early last year and managed to last 7 days without a drink. My response... CELEBRATE by getting smashed. Then, I didn't stop again until last week. That was one hell of a celebration! Congrats on jumping back on the bandwagon early!

I like that you used the word "annoyed". It shows a nice degree of self-reprimand without being too hostile towards yourself. I need to work on that. You can do it! You're here; you're trying; triggers suck. I quit smoking 12 years ago, and haven't felt tempted by a trigger for years. I look forward to that day with my current ephedrine issue.

Been there done that and it really doesn't achieve anything other than damage your self esteem.

I decided to stop counting the days so I'm not sure how long it was myself. It must've been going on for a month though. I just started feeling better for not drinking too.

It's amazing how when you are like us, drinking really stops being fun and more about chasing a high that doesn't even exist for us anymore. Sometimes that final bender is what we need to see that nothing has changed, and we need to press forward in sobriety. You're back in the right place

I added wrong; it's only been 10 years. I also gave up drinking at that time. I never get tempted to smoke anymore, but I do get an occasional mild urge to have a drink.

Smoking bugs the crap out of me. When I drink, I smoke. I would've stopped for good years ago if 'd have stopped drinking as well! I would class myself as a non smoker nowadays.