Day negative one
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 32
Day negative one
I drank today (and much of last week). I was doing so well and was so happy and productive for all of seven days. Now I'm in that stupid cycle. Crying and utterly anxious and once I pick up, perfectly normal. You know what I mean by normal-not really normal, but out of my head and then the numbness sets in.
I have to stop this because I have to be productive. I've also been maudlin and unnecessarily emotional and critical of those around me. I wake up in the morning embarrassed of my behavior and want to stave the thoughts away so I turn to wine.
Wine gives me the most anxious hangover so I need to stop this.
Wish me luck for tomorrow.
I have to stop this because I have to be productive. I've also been maudlin and unnecessarily emotional and critical of those around me. I wake up in the morning embarrassed of my behavior and want to stave the thoughts away so I turn to wine.
Wine gives me the most anxious hangover so I need to stop this.
Wish me luck for tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Good luck for the rest of today and for all of tomorrow. Wine hangovers are disgusting and used to send my anxiety skyrocketing so I know what you're talking about.
What are you going to do differently tomorrow to not turn to the wine? I came here a lot when I first started. And went to AA meetings. Good luck. One day at a time. You did seven days before. You can do it again.
What are you going to do differently tomorrow to not turn to the wine? I came here a lot when I first started. And went to AA meetings. Good luck. One day at a time. You did seven days before. You can do it again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Alcohol really made me anxious also. I pass out early, and wake up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding out of my chest.
I'm now at day 12 and feel so calm, it's almost ridiculous. It's like I'm drunk but sober numb. Weird to explain. Last night I slept all the way trough. Been years since I was able to. Almost went pipi in the bed.
I'm now at day 12 and feel so calm, it's almost ridiculous. It's like I'm drunk but sober numb. Weird to explain. Last night I slept all the way trough. Been years since I was able to. Almost went pipi in the bed.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 32
My go-to is to go to bed relatively sober after having drunk vodka. I know that's not a perfect plan, but it doesn't give me anxiety the next day and it certainly doesn't wake me up in the night with my heart pounding like the wine does. This is how I stopped last time. And I wouldn't have started again except I needed to stay at a friend's for convenient access to somewhere I needed to be. That friend is a junkie and she stole a heap of my Ativan. It's sick that the only reason I even get prescriptions for Ativan is for my planned stoppage. I use a bottle of 60 every four months. Now there are only four left. I never go through withdrawal, but if I don't have them with me, I get super anxious.
So, no wine for me tonight. I do have some vodka because this day is already a failed one. I'm going to join the June group. I'm so sick of this cycle. And yet, I'm still in it.
So, no wine for me tonight. I do have some vodka because this day is already a failed one. I'm going to join the June group. I'm so sick of this cycle. And yet, I'm still in it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 32
I'm also hiding in my room at this point with the shower running because I don't even want to be with my family. I'm not in the shower (obviously) but I'm sick of hearing them say "Mom" every other second. This sucks. I hope to have some better days ahead.
Don't put it off. Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
If I had even a penny for every time I hear someone calling "mom" I would be a very rich woman by now. I understand. What helps me is to take a deep breath while taking my own time out and then rejoin them.
Hang in there. You can do it.
Hang in there. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: California
Posts: 130
Hey get, remember when you hit to bottom, their are only one way to go..UP
Just a friendly reminder, be careful Ativan is Very addicting
In on day 18 and take nothing but Antabuse, because i dont trust myself yet, but i feel goid, no anxiety or discomfort....
Just a friendly reminder, be careful Ativan is Very addicting
In on day 18 and take nothing but Antabuse, because i dont trust myself yet, but i feel goid, no anxiety or discomfort....
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
I wish you all the loving positive energy I can muster to wherever you are.
You can do this again. You can start again tomorrow. Tomorrow is your new day 1 to the next week of happiness and productivity...and hope.
You can do this again. You can start again tomorrow. Tomorrow is your new day 1 to the next week of happiness and productivity...and hope.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
GetMeOffThisBus I want to thank you for choosing that name. I laughed out loud when I saw it.
On a more serious note, I need to ask what you plan to do differently. I know you can get sober, your past posts indicate you did so for a year. The question I have is what are you going to do long term, I mean really long term to stay sober?
The first sentence of your first post was “I need to be held accountable”. Ok, Then how’s that going to happen? long term?
I’ll give you my best advice for getting off that bus. Go to AA. Your water bill will go way down, and I bet your kids will be real glad to see you. Ya know, the real you.
On a more serious note, I need to ask what you plan to do differently. I know you can get sober, your past posts indicate you did so for a year. The question I have is what are you going to do long term, I mean really long term to stay sober?
The first sentence of your first post was “I need to be held accountable”. Ok, Then how’s that going to happen? long term?
I’ll give you my best advice for getting off that bus. Go to AA. Your water bill will go way down, and I bet your kids will be real glad to see you. Ya know, the real you.
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