Remorseful
Remorseful
So damn remorseful right now in that I've been slipping so much and that I've been disappointing people. I had some friends in town and we had a good time partying. Sunday came around they left and I continued. Monday was utter hell and I could barely work yesterday. I need to etch this into my brain. Confided in more people about my problem which I guess is a good thing. Called my mom and told her how bad I felt and probably worried the hell out of her. Feel bad about that. Contacted my ex which I shouldn't have and feel bad about that. Wrote something to someone that I barely know about something that I wouldn't have wrote had I'd been sober. Left work early because I couldn't manage knowing full well my boss is already questioning my dependability. I'm a highly functioning alcoholic. I'm better than this.
I'm the guy whose coordinating everything for everyone socially and now that I'm faced with this disease I think I need to put that on hold and put my full effort into it.
I haven't had a sponsor in over a year and I know that's something I need to do. I need to work the steps. Sorry I know I'm rambling but it just feels good to get it out.
Thanks everyone!
Garrison
I'm the guy whose coordinating everything for everyone socially and now that I'm faced with this disease I think I need to put that on hold and put my full effort into it.
I haven't had a sponsor in over a year and I know that's something I need to do. I need to work the steps. Sorry I know I'm rambling but it just feels good to get it out.
Thanks everyone!
Garrison
Thanks for sharing. I'm on day 2 myself and also barely made it through yesterday. I'm commited to never going through that again! Don't beat yourself up, today is a better day if for no other reason than you are sober. Remember that. Best of luck.
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