Another newcomer
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 20
Another newcomer
Hello all,
I have been lurking on this forum for the last 6 months or so, but officially signed up tonight.
I have been a long term problem drinker, but I am pretty sure I have officially crossed over the threshold into alcoholism. When moved in with my significant other last year, I was certain that that would help curb my problem. He is generally intolerant of my drinking, even of the moderate variety, and I thought that would be my impetus for changing. I was like, hooray, goodbye to all of that! That has not proved to be the case, and in fact, I have gotten worse. Because of his objections to my drinking, I have become very sneaky and have started hiding bottles around the apartment. In fact, i am sure there is at least one lurking in a closet somewhere. Needless to say, this type of behavior concerns me greatly. I have also started drinking at odd times, simply because he is away and I have a better chance of getting away with it.
I am coming off a bit of a binge, which I am sure represents the final straw with the significant other. This is distressing to me, to say the least, because he is the loveliest and best person I know. He is also, above all, extremely rational, and I know I have backed him into a corner here. I am so remorseful about this that I had to be hospitalized for a panic attack today.
I have had smallish stints of sobriety over the past 6 months, ranging from 3 to 12 days, but haven't been able to make it stick. I am hoping this forum can help me sort myself out for good. Thanks for listening.
I have been lurking on this forum for the last 6 months or so, but officially signed up tonight.
I have been a long term problem drinker, but I am pretty sure I have officially crossed over the threshold into alcoholism. When moved in with my significant other last year, I was certain that that would help curb my problem. He is generally intolerant of my drinking, even of the moderate variety, and I thought that would be my impetus for changing. I was like, hooray, goodbye to all of that! That has not proved to be the case, and in fact, I have gotten worse. Because of his objections to my drinking, I have become very sneaky and have started hiding bottles around the apartment. In fact, i am sure there is at least one lurking in a closet somewhere. Needless to say, this type of behavior concerns me greatly. I have also started drinking at odd times, simply because he is away and I have a better chance of getting away with it.
I am coming off a bit of a binge, which I am sure represents the final straw with the significant other. This is distressing to me, to say the least, because he is the loveliest and best person I know. He is also, above all, extremely rational, and I know I have backed him into a corner here. I am so remorseful about this that I had to be hospitalized for a panic attack today.
I have had smallish stints of sobriety over the past 6 months, ranging from 3 to 12 days, but haven't been able to make it stick. I am hoping this forum can help me sort myself out for good. Thanks for listening.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi and welcome MagicalThinking 
SR certainly helped me turn my life around. Tons of support here.
Commit to posting here regularly.
Check out our 24 Hour Recovery Connections thread - it's a great way to make a daily commitment to recovery
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
Come join our Class of June support thread too, if you like
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2014-a-17.html
D
SR certainly helped me turn my life around. Tons of support here.
Commit to posting here regularly.
Check out our 24 Hour Recovery Connections thread - it's a great way to make a daily commitment to recovery
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
Come join our Class of June support thread too, if you like
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2014-a-17.html
D
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Welcome to SR, MagicalThinking.
Your story sounds very much like mine and you don't have to go down the same path. Start by getting all the bottles out of the house.
Glad you're here.
Your story sounds very much like mine and you don't have to go down the same path. Start by getting all the bottles out of the house.
Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Glad you joined the family.
If you are serious your partner will see it. You can also be honest with him about the gravity of your addiction. Al-Anon might be a good thing for him also. It would help him understand how Alcohol has a hold on you.
Keep posting, and try not to be to hard on yourself.
If you are serious your partner will see it. You can also be honest with him about the gravity of your addiction. Al-Anon might be a good thing for him also. It would help him understand how Alcohol has a hold on you.
Keep posting, and try not to be to hard on yourself.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
It's great to meet you Magicalthinking (love your screen name).
You have come to the right place for understanding and support. When I found SR I was drinking all day. It had become that bad. All hopes of being a social drinker were gone - I was completely dependent on it. I couldn't imagine my life without it, even though it was causing me nothing but despair. Each time I drank I became more and more reckless and did out-of-character things. I, too, had a hidden stash. Trying to control the amounts I drank became exhausting - in the end, it was wonderful to be free of it.
You can do this Magical. We are here to help.
You have come to the right place for understanding and support. When I found SR I was drinking all day. It had become that bad. All hopes of being a social drinker were gone - I was completely dependent on it. I couldn't imagine my life without it, even though it was causing me nothing but despair. Each time I drank I became more and more reckless and did out-of-character things. I, too, had a hidden stash. Trying to control the amounts I drank became exhausting - in the end, it was wonderful to be free of it.
You can do this Magical.
We are here to help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 20
Thank you also Phoenix bot and Hevyn. I too have found moderation exhausting. I used to think that it was possible, but my last few episodes have definitely disabused me of that notion. I am very grateful for the support of this site.
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