jaynie04

I do believe alcoholism is progressive. I drank a lot in college, chilled in my 20's because of career demands, started to drink more in my 30's and in my 40's I started to have problems. I don't think abstaining with an end date in mind in hopes that you can undo the process that has already begun works.

I know I think about alcohol differently. My husband of 17 years is a normal drinker, it is peripheral to his life and he drinks moderately without thinking about it. He also drank a lot more in college, but the older we get the less he drinks, but I see the difference in our mindset. He never had to "learn" to drink normally….he just did.

Drinking normally is not an art form, you either do or you don't. I am sure some of us could moderately if we needed to under certain circumstances, but to me that is like trying to eat jello with chopsticks. For me, alcohol would still have its claws into me, because I would be thinking about it, anticipating it, and the entire time I was drinking I would be aware of the level in the glass. Normal drinkers are involved in what is going around them while holding a glass, alcoholics are completely conscious of what is in the glass and then there is everything else.

I use the word normal here only in the context of distinguishing myself from people who don't have a problem. If you are going to have a problem, it is not going to go away, it is just how much you are willing to go through before you acknowledge it.

BuddinK

It can all come down to the individual. In the. 80's I did a lot of cocaine. In the nineties I stopped and never looked back. Today I have 15 months of sobriety, for me stopping drinking wasn't very difficult. But, stopping smoking is turning out to be the hardest.

Seanfox

Why would you risk it? I just don't see the point in alcohol any more, I know it wouldn't work for me, I have tried that in the past and it didn't work. I think the longer you're sober you see that everything about alcohol is false.

coming_clean

I will never be able to moderate my DOC (drug of choice) for I am an addict.
Tried it too often it never worked out.
Ever.

veryready

I would say your friend is not an alcoholic. Alcoholics are not capable of drinking just a little once a week. That's not how an alcoholic will ever be able to drink.

FreeOwl

I'm really conflicted by these posts.

One part of me wants to believe in them. To hope that maybe 'one day', the circumstances of my life and the maturity of my mind and the situation will all evolve to a point that I can be Mike.

Another part of me really feels like these posts are unhelpful and unfair to post in a 'newcomers to recovery' forum; where many people are coming specifically to make their way through some of the most difficult stages of the very difficult process of choosing sobriety.

FreeOwl

specifically; ME. These posts feel unfair to ME.

Just sharing my experience.

It challenges my choice to read things like this.

Today, I will choose to remind myself that I have chosen sobriety because my own experience has demonstrated consistently enough to me that Mike's method doesn't work for me, and I don't wish to experience the struggle and the pain.

But I kinda felt I needed to say it.

choublak

Just because it seems to be true, doesn't mean it is. He could very well be an alcoholic who is lying to himself and to those around him.

SoberLeigh

"Can an alcoholic ever be a responsible drinker?"

Not this one.

resolute50

Agree,

I don't think taking advice from somebody with a drink in hand at a bar is advisable. Although I always gave excellent advice while drinking.

LBrain

I disagree with the above statements. I would agree that this person is not currently an alcoholic. But he was an alcoholic at some point in his life.

SigChiScooby

Here are my thoughts on this post....Alcoholism is a disease. It is a disease we will carry with us the rest of our life. Luckily for us there is a cure. It is a cure that only works one day at a time. Some times even one hour at time. We all know that cure is to not drink. To not drink means exactly that. Not one. Not two. Not even in moderation. Here is a lil story I came up with to put it in perspective:: A cancer patient goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the patient the treatment has been successful (for now) and the cancer is in remission. The patient is elated! The patient waits a couple days and decides to pay a visit to the doctor. The patient has an idea. The patient says "Hey doc I'd like to try a few of those cancer cells my body fought so hard to get rid of. I think it would make me feel better." The doc says rather abruptly "ARE YOU INSANE!"

Today I choose to not drink. It is the BEST choice for me.

Mek2

Comparing Alcoholism to cancer is ridiculous. Alcoholics can choose at any point to stop drinking. Every single time they take that first drink a choice is being made. Cancer patients do not have that choice. They cannot choose to not have cancer.

You are addicted to alcohol. Cancer patients are not addicted to cancer.

FreeOwl

I don't think it was a comparison... it was a metaphor.

It was being used to illustrate the ridiculousness of an alcoholic choosing to drink.

The fact that a cancer patient cannot choose to have cancer almost makes it an even better metaphor.

Mek2

I disagree FreeOwl. To me my drinking is something I did to myself. When people call alcoholism or drug abuse a disease it is taking responsibility away from them and saying it is not my fault, I have a disease.

I totally understand the point Scooby was trying to make, but I think it is misdirected and can be dangerous to a newcomer.

desypete

i tried and got away with this sort of drinking for about 2 or 3 years when i started drinking again i could go all week with out a drink no problem but i made up for it at the weekend

then the trouble started as i was getting drunk more and more then i would need a drink on the monday to help me recover from the sundays drink
on and on it went unitl finaly i was drinking every day, lost my job, my money, my kids ended up in social services care i even went to prison for drunken fights etc

it all took about 8 years for me to progress to that level from just drinking at weekends only i thought i had control of it it and that the part in chapter 3 were it says if you can go back and drink normaly again our hats are off to you
well that was me for 2 or 3 years but in the end it got me

it seems to be the same pattern for all alcoholics, if you are an alcholic your life will end up getting worse for you the more you drink

i have never seen anyone come back into aa who has drank again and told me there life got better

Serenidad

Hi Mr. Ben,

I have been exactly where you are! I was a binge drinker until April 22, 2008 when I decided to drive drunk & got a DUI. After laying in a jail cell for 22 hours I finally realized that I had a serious problem & was an alcoholic. It was truly awful at the end! I was a 2 to 3 time per week binge drinker in bars. I'm surprised I survived to be honest!

Anyway...I stayed sober for 5 & 1/2 years & my life was great! Many people would tell me I'm not an alcoholic. I never was...etc. etc. & I started to believe them. Last October (7 months ago) I decided to have a beer. Oh how I wish I wouldn't have done that! I would give anything to turn back the clock!

Fast forward to now & I'm drinking the exact same way I was in 2008 only this time it's much much worse & my cravings are 10 times worse. I am on day 3 again & praying I can get my sobriety back.

There is a reason you have been sober & it's not worth it to drink! I sooooo wish I wouldnt have!

Good luck!

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SigChiScooby

I certainly wasn't comparing alcoholism to cancer. I was just trying to use a metaphor to put the thought that it is ever ok to drink in perspective. I also truly feel alcoholism IS a disease. That is just my thinking, and it is OK to disagree with me. If everyone agreed on everything this world would be a boring place!

jaynie04

Drinking is a choice, alcoholism is not. "drinking is something I did to myself", I agree with that, however, I don't agree that alcoholism is something I did to myself. Many of us chose to drink in spite of negative consequences, but none of us chose to be part of the roughly 10% of the population that for some reason develops this disease/syndrome/affliction.

Acknowledging the fact that we are part of this subset doesn't preclude us from taking appropriate measures to get well. I don't waste time wondering why I am built differently, I just am. The only known cure to date is abstinence.

I believe that failing to acknowledge that we are built differently can keep us rooted in the quest to learn to drink better or drink like other people.

Serenidad

And by the way...this disease is VERY patient! The first month or so I was able to go out & drink one or two drinks. I would say to myself...."SEE! I'm NOT an alcoholic!" Well let me tell you....my disease waited very quietly & patiently & POUNCED when it thought I wasn't paying attention. I hate this disease!!! Don't risk it!

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