rove27

After quitting smoking and drinking, I am still dealing with something deeper. I think the addictions are just a symptom of a deeper problem. I am still dealing with this emptiness, that is screaming to be filled with tobacco or a drink. I am asking God to help me find the cause, although I am not very religious, I still believe in God. I do not have a bad life right now, I am overall content. I do have a troubled past that I try to leave in the past but keeps resurfacing.

I am wondering in anyone here, who has some time under their belt has any advice. I do not want to relapse, but I still have a gnawing feeling of me yearning for something.......not sure what

sugarbear1

I found the answer in looking at me through the 12 steps.

still working for me 3 years later.

doggonecarl

There are many who believe that understanding the root cause of addiction will lead to sobriety. I am not one of those.

Quit drinking, learn how to live sober and enjoy life. If you manage that, there is a good chance that in the process you have addressed the root cause or some of the root causes of why you drink.

Nuudawn

Ever read anything by Anne Lamott? She (a recovering alcoholic) writes a lot about what she calls a "God Hole" in her book "Tender Mercies".
It's a wonderful, witty (hot cup of cocoa) kind of read if you haven't.

I do think Carl is onto something though...I think we drinkers..are also...overthinkers : )

Archelon

Knowing the cause won't, by itself, fix the addiction, but sometimes knowing can help recovery.

When I was getting sober, many people suggested that I satisfy cravings by eating sweets. Turned out I have a carbohydrate metabolizing issue, and eating sweets made my cravings worse. Once I found this out and cut out sugar and refined carbs it made it easier to quit and stay quit.

A friend of mine found herself unable to stay sober until she was properly medicated for her bipolar. Some people in recover said taking a pill for that was just looking for an easy way out, but having the right mediccation helped her stop relapsing. She is sober 5 years now.

So knowing the cause can help, and allows some of us to work a recovery program, or therapy to sort out our other issues.

Aellyce

I think many like to think that we use substances to fill a "void" in our soul. To me it's always a bit like the chicken and the egg - maybe we try to fill an existing void, or perhaps we create and expand it by looking for satisfaction and fulfillment in the wrong ways.

For me so far, the most effective way to figure out why I drank is to work on my recovery and address how and why I am staying sober now. So yeah, what Carl said. You can also try to analyze your past and your motivations with the help of a therapist if alone is difficult. I have a therapist now who gets very excited working with/on me, I recommend it if you like to take your psyche apart and want to do it with someone who has formal skills to do this. But for me, my primary focus is not on the past, only as much as it helps me improve the present and hopefully future.

Dee74

Hi Rove

I do believe I had underlying issues that drew me to drink and drugs in a maladaptive attempt to deal with them.

But I also developed alcoholism.

I think you need to deal with both things if you want lasting recovery.

I spent years trying to fill a void within me. I couldn't do it.
The void was bottomless.

I've had way better results trying to heal the void.

For me that meant some counselling, some service work and volunteering and a reconnection with spirituality.

Not drinking also helped there too. I rediscovered a me I'd forgotten existed and the wisdom and serenity that goes along with that rediscovery.

I needed purpose and meaning in my life again - and I found it

Thats what it took for me - only you can say what it will take for you, but I think you've made a great start Rove

D

nomis

I like the scientific explanations. Basically addiction develops because of a reward-deficit disorder in the brain. Too much cortisol (stress) and not enough dopamine, makes those susceptible reaching for chemicals to self-medicate.

MIRecovery

I don't worry about the cause I worry about the solution. The hole you spoke of was filled with the steps, spirituality, and fellowship of AA

awuh1

This is quite an interesting question. I think it’s a bit advanced, for discussion in the newcomers section, partly because the causes are varied and exist on multiple levels. I don’t think there is a one size fits all answer. There are various physical, psychological and, dare I say, spiritual answers to the question. All of which can, IOP, partially answer the question on their respective levels of reality. Since you mentioned a spiritual aspect, let me speak to that realm.

Even before the organization alcoholics anonymous was founded, the founder of analytic psychology, Carl Jung, recognized the spiritual component of alcoholism.


I have always liked Carl Jung’s letter to Bill W., one of the first two members of AA. I believe it speaks directly to your reference to spirituality, and it even uses much the same language (“search of our being for wholeness” etc). Jung said it much better than I could ever hope to. Here is the letter.

Dear Mr. W.:

Your letter has been very welcome indeed.

I had no news from Roland H. any more and often wondered what has been his fate. Our conversation which he has adequately reported to you had an aspect of which he did not know. The reason that I could not tell him everything was that those days I had to be exceedingly careful of what I said. I had found out that I was misunderstood in every possible way. Thus I was very careful when I talked to Roland H. But what I really thought about was the result of many experiences with men of his kind.

His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God.

How could one formulate such an insight in a language that is not misunderstood in our days?

The only right and legitimate way to such an experience is that it happens to you in reality, and it can only happen to you when you walk on a path which leads you to higher understanding. You might be led to that goal by an act of grace or through a personal and honest contact with friends, or through a higher education of the mind beyond the confines of mere rationalism. I see from your letter that Roland H. has chosen the second way, which was, under the circumstances, obviously the best one.

I am strongly convinced that the evil principle prevailing in this world leads the unrecognized spiritual need into perdition if it is not counteracted either by real religious insight or by the protective wall of human community. An ordinary man, not protected by an action from above and isolated in society, cannot resist the power of evil, which is called very aptly the Devil. But the use of such words arouses so many mistakes that one can only keep aloof from them as much as possible.

These are the reasons why I could not give a full and sufficient explanation to Roland H., but I am risking it with you because I conclude from your very decent and honest letter that you have acquired a point of view above the misleading platitudes one usually hears about alcoholism.

You see, alcohol in Latin is "spiritus," and you use the same word for the highest religious experience as well as for the most depraving poison. The helpful formula therefore is: spiritus contra spiritum.

Thanking you again for your kind letter.

I remain

yours sincerely

C. G. Jung

I think AA's 12 steps would greatly benefit you, because you are seeking on this level.

BrokenBottles

I think about this a lot. I've been in therapy for four years to address my deep-seated issues. I feel like I'm getting worse.

I do agree with Carl and I will take those words to heart. Learning how to be sober is the hard part (for me anyway).

zerothehero

I have had to guard against seeking answers that may not exist. In my first few months of sobriety, I read a lot that led me to evaluate my childhood, my addiction timeline, grief, trauma, and my entire life history. There were certainly environmental factors as well as likely genetic (family history of alcoholism and mental illness) predispositions. I am an organism adapting (or maladapting) to my environment. I think at times I made more of my past than necessary or even helpful.

I have also had the sense of needing to "fill a void" or "existential vacuum." This very well could grow out of lack of meaning or lack of a solid spiritual faith. However, I don't believe I can "force myself" to embrace a particular faith, and creating meaning too often feels hollow - I still recognize it as my own creation.

Mindfulness helps me because I'm learning about my mind - how it works. It's hard for me to explain, but through meditation and mindfulness I am understanding my motivations, I'm less on autopilot, and I can make better choices without feeling like it's a struggle. Practicing loving-kindness is also important. I've had to learn to be gentle and understanding with myself. It's not so much analytical, not psychotherapy, but rather, simply observing my mind at work without judgement. It's kind of about resisting analysis - not "over-thinking."

In other words, if there is a void, perhaps it doesn't want to be filled. Perhaps attempting to fill it is the maladaptation.