luv4hiking

Today i have been sober 56 days. I am now beginning to feel things....emotional things and a lot of pain and anger that I have not dealt with. So.....my way of showing others that they cannot hurt me is to hurt myself. I have not told anyone this not my sponsor....not anyone. When I do it I feel such relief. I know that I cannot keep hacking at myself and need to find a different copping mechanism. Any suggestions welcome.

Thank you

Coldfusion

One of the best ways SoberRecovery can be effective is if you come here when you get urges. The Newcomer's forum is meant to be a safe and welcoming place for support, or you could find an on-going thread to join.

rove27

I also have been feeling emotional pain since I quit drinking, I find that exercise, a good run or a walk outdoors listening to music helps. Sometimes a good cry also helps. Hope you find peace eventually....

EarlyHours

I agree with Coldfusion, I keep this page open all day, and any time I feel the negative or destructive thoughts creeping in, I come back and read a few posts at random. It helps to know that you're never alone when you're here.

Ruby2

I don't have experience with cutting if that is what you are referring to. There is a mental health forum on SR. Maybe someone there also has some suggestions?

I've been experiencing a lot of emotional pain lately. Walking helps. I have a punching bag in my basement. Hitting that helps. Just plain yelling helps too. Good luck and I'm sorry you are going through the pain.

luv4hiking

Thank you for your suggestions. I do exercise a lot which helps. I will try the mental health forum as well. Good luck to you too and I hope you feel better soon.

2bHelpful

If someone is abusing you on any level, please find a way to escape that situation.

The lie we ALL tell ourselves is that we are no good, we are worse than others, others don't want to be around us, be our lovers, be our friends, etc. This is at the heart of addiction/alcoholism (at least from what I have observed) and a TRUE adoption of the 12 Step way of life can actually defeat this deeply embedded self-negativity.

You will feel worthy when you are in right relation to your Creator, not bowing before anyone, nor holding yourself above them.

Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others. Allow yourself to be freed

justinJustQuit

Exercise does something for me too. I was feeling like I wanted to hurt myself for a brief period, but there's something about getting up in the morning, lifting weights/running that made me feel so amazing about myself.

It is said to help with anxiety as well.

FeenixxRising

Well done on 56 days Luv4. Are you referring to cutting? If so, I have no experience with that issue; although, I'm sure there are people here who do. There is a sub-forum here called "Mental Health" and you may want to post something there if cutting is an issue. Finally, I would suggest counseling.

MidnightBlue

Hi, Luv4Hiking.

I can totally relate to what you are talking about. Though I am not self-harming myself in an obvious way, I still do it - it can be overating till I feel sick. Or some illogical actions when I almost deliberately screw up things, and it gives me reason to give myself a "good juicy negative talk", etc.

Just this Tuesday I finally saw the phsychiatrist for him to prescribe me meds against depression. And when he was asking me questions to get the picture of my mental state, I told him that sometimes emotional pain is so bad, that I am phantasazing about breaking my knees just to distract my pain. Just to switch it to physical pain - the one I know how to deal with.

I also started to feel emotions about that time - at 40-50 days of sobriety. It was a start of a true journey to recovery. I started to wind off a humangeous snarl of inner conficts, false beliefs, and overall BS that's been accumilated in my life. At some point I gathered courage to open up my childhood wounds in order to finally truly heal them, rather than to pretend they do not exist.

I am not completely healed yet. But I am much better than 20 months ago. Even though recently I've experienced the worst episode of major depression. But even this contributed to my recovery - I finally sought help I needed so much.

So, my advice would be - please, find a way to see a specialist about that. A therapist who will help you to find the way out of it. Self-harming always has some deep underlying issues, which fuel this.

Working out, meditation, some hobby you really enjoy would add up at feeling better as well.

I wish you the very best.

Keep posting and take care of yourself.

luv4hiking

Thank you. I do run and work out a lot which helps and am in the best shape of my life so I think I just need to find something to do when the sensation comes to cut. Like maybe just get out and go for a walk or go out to the garden. I do have deep underlying issues like you from my childhood and adulthood and once sober they all came crashing in on me at once so I have pushed them away for the moment. I need to deal with one thing at a time and work on my feelings of self worth. I did see a therapist about a year ago but we were not a great match. I felt more like I was helping her. Thank you so much for your post and for sharing your advice with me.
I wish you all the best as well.

Verte

Hi Luv

My current therapist is a gem and believe or not, I heard about her through the reviews on Angies's List. I've only lived in my current area for a few years and do not know enough people in therapy to ask for word-of-mouth-faves of the locals.

I've heard of people who find themselves in your situation using rubber bands on the wrist - snapping them as a kinder to yourself alternative while plowing through deeper issues when possible.
The 'snap' apparently releases endorphins and acts a reminder to be gentler with yourself and situation. Of course this alternative has the potential to go awry as well.

Sitting in the SR chat room gives me great interaction and giggles when I cannot go out for some exercise. This has been fun. Need to do this more often myself.

luv4hiking

Hi LeTheVerte:thank you so much for the great alternative. The rubber band sounds like a much better alternative for now. I would rather have a welt on my wrist then what my arm is looking like at the moment. I am going to try it and see if I get the same release. Take care and thank you again!

freshstart57

I have a friend with way too much experience with self harm who recommends mindfulness and journalling, drawing on the intended cut site with a red marker instead of a blade, and plunging hands into a sink full of ice water. This will release endorphins too. There are lots of online resources if you google self-harm, and even some available to you by telephone. There is help for you.

And congratulations on your two month sobriety, that is fantastic! You are a strong, good and beautiful person who deserves to have a good life, and you can have it, too. Best to you.

neferkamichael

Luv4hiking, 56 days sober is FANTASTIC, congratulations. When we don't have enemies we turn on ourselves, or at least I have. As I practice mindfulness, staying in the present moment, paying attention to what I'm thinking, I'm beginning to make a little progress, but changing behavior has proven to be a challenge. Rootin for ya.

aasharon90

Just like with an alcoholic, which I am, in recovery
since 1990, I had to make sure no alcohol was in
my home so that I wouldn't be tempted to reach
for it at anytime whether I was feeling good or bad.

Changing people, places and things was something
I had to do early on in recovery to insure building a
strong, healthy foundation each day I remained sober.

Maybe the same thing can be done for what you
are going thru. Whatever tools you have around
ur home can be eliminated to insure you wont
pick it to cause damage you ur skin. Does that
make sense?

We all have to go thru changes in our lives
whatever they maybe to help us grow healthy,
happy and free in recovery.

Remember to ask for help like I learned to do
in everything I needed help with so that you never
have to feel alone in achieving a healthy recovery for
urself, because like so many of us, YOU are
WORTH IT..!!!!

luv4hiking

Thank you so much nefer. I always try to be helpful to others or just stay away from people in general because they are usually a disappointment. I appreciate your advice on paying attention to what one is thinking. I'm glad to hear you are making progress. Hang in there