Another Newbie. Yay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 31
Another Newbie. Yay.
Hello all. I'm a long-time lurker and a first-time poster. Been married a little over a decade to a wonderful man who eventually became an alcoholic. In the last year the verbal abuse and cold shoulder has been hard to bear, and the interference I had to run between him and the kids was emotionally exhausting. Every month or so there'd be something destroyed because he passed out while cooking. My stove has two unusable burners. I've replaced the toaster. Food has burned in the oven and he's slept through the fire alarm.
He drank every night. 101 proof. It got so I couldn't tell if he was drunk or at least under the influence. Weekends, he'd start drinking the moment he got up, literally.
At least once a month I'd be treated to a loud diatribe, usually out of the blue, about how worthless I am, I'm a ******* ****, a stupid bitch, he doesn't want me, I can't please anyone, I'm a mooch, stupid, lazy, crazy, he hates me. . . . And worse. I think you get the drift.
Three weeks ago he tied one on so badly I had to call the police because he threatened to kill me. Our five-year-old heard the whole thing, which breaks my heart. He blew a .26 after having a long conversation with police officers and he walked to the police car.
So now I have an order for protection. He's got three charges against him. His whole family is furious with me for not letting him see our child until after the court hearings, but it takes time to get supervised visitation in place.
I feel really alone, but I've been reading here for about six months and it's really helped me understand that I'm truly not, and it's also helped me understand that I have to distance myself from the drinking and stop trying to help him and start trying to help myself and my children. So really, you guys gave me the impetus to call 911 and change things. Thank you.
He drank every night. 101 proof. It got so I couldn't tell if he was drunk or at least under the influence. Weekends, he'd start drinking the moment he got up, literally.
At least once a month I'd be treated to a loud diatribe, usually out of the blue, about how worthless I am, I'm a ******* ****, a stupid bitch, he doesn't want me, I can't please anyone, I'm a mooch, stupid, lazy, crazy, he hates me. . . . And worse. I think you get the drift.
Three weeks ago he tied one on so badly I had to call the police because he threatened to kill me. Our five-year-old heard the whole thing, which breaks my heart. He blew a .26 after having a long conversation with police officers and he walked to the police car.
So now I have an order for protection. He's got three charges against him. His whole family is furious with me for not letting him see our child until after the court hearings, but it takes time to get supervised visitation in place.
I feel really alone, but I've been reading here for about six months and it's really helped me understand that I'm truly not, and it's also helped me understand that I have to distance myself from the drinking and stop trying to help him and start trying to help myself and my children. So really, you guys gave me the impetus to call 911 and change things. Thank you.
I'm Wide Awake
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 766
I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I hope you continue to find support here and continue to find the strength you need to keep making positive changes. I will keep you and your children in my thoughts and prayers.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi punchdrunk and welcome to SR. I'm also sorry for what brought you here but you will find support. You are doing the right thing, as hard as it is sometimes. You cannot leave your children with him if he is passing out and burning things, or threatening you when he is not passed out. He isn't safe.
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome PunchDrunk. You did the right thing...protecting yourself and your children is imperative. Sorry it had to happen this way, but in the end you dime the best you could have. I hope you can find some local support, and also check out the family and friends of alcoholics forum on the main page.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Vancouver Island
Posts: 26
Thank you for finding the strength to protect your children from your husbands abuse. You may have just saved them from "learning what we live"...
Keep finding the power you need to go through with making the right decisions for both you and your kids.
Keep finding the power you need to go through with making the right decisions for both you and your kids.
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