First steps
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 60
First steps
Hi all,
I want to first say thank you to everyone who shares their stories here, both the good and the bad. I only registered tonight, but you've already helped me without knowing it.
As I write this, I'm on what I guess is my third day of sobriety, or hour 56.
I like to write, or I should say I used to, but there was never much time for it, which is kind of funny since I spend most of my time outside of work with nothing to do... just netflix, online games, or more work. I'm not social, I prefer my own company, which kind of begs the question, why do I feel the need to alter my own perception just to stand being with myself?
My decision to quit came after a five day binge where the only time I wasn't drinking was when I was passed out for a few hours. I've been a heavy drinker by trade and even as I see and feel my body breaking down, it wasn't enough to stop me. A little blood in the bathroom, no problem, throw up after eating anything at all, no problem, stomach pains, acid reflux, fatigue, didn't matter. What actually got me was on Tuesday morning, right before I passed out again, I brushed my teeth for what was probably the first time in five days, and realized every last one of my gums was bleeding, and somewhere along the way I had lost a crown on one of them.
I've never been that worried about my teeth, I smoke, I drink coffee, soda goes hand in hand when I'm using alcohol, but right at that moment, something clicked in my brain. I am actually killing myself, and I really don't want to do that.
I was still drunk, but I had finished my bottle anyway, so I went to bed. Scared, but determined. My attitude really hasn't changed. It's constantly on my mind, but I'm doing it, hour by hour.
I did not get medical help. I know I should have, and probably still should, but for me, that's a harder step than telling a thousand other people here.
The first night wasn't too bad, a lot of sweat and insomnia, a little pain in the gut, but I didn't even put any of that together with the lack of alcohol, I thought it was just from the few hours I had been passed out earlier, and it was a little hot inside.
My second day was a bit easier, only because I had to be back in the office and being busy helps. I drank lots of water, skipping the soda and caffeine, since I relate soda with alcohol, and coffee with my teeth, which I'm still convinced are going to fall out. My brain was foggy all day, I was sweating, and convinced I could smell myself, and sure everyone around me could too.
Today was day three, all in all much like day two. I finally took a few tylenol to deal with the no-caffeine headache, but otherwise stuck to the plan. About to get in bed, but I feel like I can put a check mark on it. I know there will be good days and bad, I feel like I've been lucky this far, and strangely enough I'm kind of looking forward to tomorrow.
Sorry for such a long first post.
I want to first say thank you to everyone who shares their stories here, both the good and the bad. I only registered tonight, but you've already helped me without knowing it.
As I write this, I'm on what I guess is my third day of sobriety, or hour 56.
I like to write, or I should say I used to, but there was never much time for it, which is kind of funny since I spend most of my time outside of work with nothing to do... just netflix, online games, or more work. I'm not social, I prefer my own company, which kind of begs the question, why do I feel the need to alter my own perception just to stand being with myself?
My decision to quit came after a five day binge where the only time I wasn't drinking was when I was passed out for a few hours. I've been a heavy drinker by trade and even as I see and feel my body breaking down, it wasn't enough to stop me. A little blood in the bathroom, no problem, throw up after eating anything at all, no problem, stomach pains, acid reflux, fatigue, didn't matter. What actually got me was on Tuesday morning, right before I passed out again, I brushed my teeth for what was probably the first time in five days, and realized every last one of my gums was bleeding, and somewhere along the way I had lost a crown on one of them.
I've never been that worried about my teeth, I smoke, I drink coffee, soda goes hand in hand when I'm using alcohol, but right at that moment, something clicked in my brain. I am actually killing myself, and I really don't want to do that.
I was still drunk, but I had finished my bottle anyway, so I went to bed. Scared, but determined. My attitude really hasn't changed. It's constantly on my mind, but I'm doing it, hour by hour.
I did not get medical help. I know I should have, and probably still should, but for me, that's a harder step than telling a thousand other people here.
The first night wasn't too bad, a lot of sweat and insomnia, a little pain in the gut, but I didn't even put any of that together with the lack of alcohol, I thought it was just from the few hours I had been passed out earlier, and it was a little hot inside.
My second day was a bit easier, only because I had to be back in the office and being busy helps. I drank lots of water, skipping the soda and caffeine, since I relate soda with alcohol, and coffee with my teeth, which I'm still convinced are going to fall out. My brain was foggy all day, I was sweating, and convinced I could smell myself, and sure everyone around me could too.
Today was day three, all in all much like day two. I finally took a few tylenol to deal with the no-caffeine headache, but otherwise stuck to the plan. About to get in bed, but I feel like I can put a check mark on it. I know there will be good days and bad, I feel like I've been lucky this far, and strangely enough I'm kind of looking forward to tomorrow.
Sorry for such a long first post.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Welcome,
It is great that you are here....and great that you had that moment of clarity, those 'aww ha' or 'aww sh**' moments can get drowned out pretty quickly with the desire to drink. Well done and congratulations on day 3.
There is a lot of great resources here, I really like the AV recognition or AVRT, That really helped me in the early days and still does at certain times.
It is also great that you like to write because you are good at it...it is a gift.
It is great that you are here....and great that you had that moment of clarity, those 'aww ha' or 'aww sh**' moments can get drowned out pretty quickly with the desire to drink. Well done and congratulations on day 3.
There is a lot of great resources here, I really like the AV recognition or AVRT, That really helped me in the early days and still does at certain times.
It is also great that you like to write because you are good at it...it is a gift.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Welcome to SR, EarlyHours.... you've come to the right place for support and help getting sober.
Stick around and read the stories of those of us that have decades and lifetimes of experience to share and don't hesitate to reach out for help whenever you need it.
Every friday and tuesday at 6pm PST / 9pm EST we have a chat meeting and I'd like to invite you to join us. Just click on the Chat room button above and then click on the door next to Meeting Room in the yellow field on the right side of the Chat room page. Hope to see you there!
Stick around and read the stories of those of us that have decades and lifetimes of experience to share and don't hesitate to reach out for help whenever you need it.
Every friday and tuesday at 6pm PST / 9pm EST we have a chat meeting and I'd like to invite you to join us. Just click on the Chat room button above and then click on the door next to Meeting Room in the yellow field on the right side of the Chat room page. Hope to see you there!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi EarlyHours - welcome 
Congrats; if you are done with Day 3 and it wasn't too bad, most likely the worse of the physical withdrawal is over now. That's always a great relief.
Now perhaps look around here and read up on different recovery strategies that people use, and make a plan for yourself. I would suggest that you start with whichever method seems most sympathetic and easiest for you, plus make a plan what to do in case the cravings hit. There is host of great information on all these things here on SR.
Good luck on your journey!
Congrats; if you are done with Day 3 and it wasn't too bad, most likely the worse of the physical withdrawal is over now. That's always a great relief.
Now perhaps look around here and read up on different recovery strategies that people use, and make a plan for yourself. I would suggest that you start with whichever method seems most sympathetic and easiest for you, plus make a plan what to do in case the cravings hit. There is host of great information on all these things here on SR.
Good luck on your journey!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 60
Thank you all for the kind words. I still had trouble falling asleep last night, I've always had a weird sleeping schedule, but insomnia was never an issue (for obvious reasons), so I'm hoping this part of it won't last long. On the bright side, I was able to move my bed next to the AC vent, which completely cut out the worst of the sweats.
Woke up feeling gross, as I have a majority of the last two days, it's almost like I can feel the toxins just sticking to my skin, even after showering. These early mornings used to be bad for me, kind of a race to see if I could get a buzz going before I left for work, or if I was off work, as I am today, it would turn into a mini binge followed by a post lunch pass out. That's kind of where I find my brain this morning.
I'm still determined though, hour by hour.
@Hope4Life, thank you for the invitation. My schedule usually has me in bed before that time, but since I've just been laying there a few hours, I will absolutely try to come to the chat. Actually it gives me a bit of a mini goal for the day.
Woke up feeling gross, as I have a majority of the last two days, it's almost like I can feel the toxins just sticking to my skin, even after showering. These early mornings used to be bad for me, kind of a race to see if I could get a buzz going before I left for work, or if I was off work, as I am today, it would turn into a mini binge followed by a post lunch pass out. That's kind of where I find my brain this morning.
I'm still determined though, hour by hour.
@Hope4Life, thank you for the invitation. My schedule usually has me in bed before that time, but since I've just been laying there a few hours, I will absolutely try to come to the chat. Actually it gives me a bit of a mini goal for the day.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: NC
Posts: 1
Hey everyone, I am wanting to stop drinking and I dont know where to begin, cause I wake up in the morning and I have the jerks really bad so I drink so that I can work, I used to only drink beer and mainly on weekends but I started drinking vodka cause I thought it would be less calories (huge mistake ) now I hardly drink beer and I usually drink vodka from the time i get up until I go to bed... I dont like this at all but I dont know how to stop... I think I would be fine if I didnt have to go through withdrawals but with my job I have to work so I dont know how to quit but yet continue to do my job...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 60
Welcome Jememe, I encourage you to create a post to introduce yourself to others, as they may not necessarily read your message here. I'm still very new to the process, but there are some amazing people here that can provide some excellent guidance. I believe there is also a meeting in the chat room tonight, at 9PM EST, you don't have to talk, but maybe you can stop by and see what others have to say (it will be my first too, so I'm not sure exactly what it entails).
Heading into Friday evening of day 5 and it's been an ok day. This morning was kind of rough, breaking that old habit of running to the liquor store when they opened, instead I took a long walk, got some fresh air, did some shopping. It felt a little more productive than my normal routine. The cloudiness I've felt all week has lifted some, and I was able to sleep for a few hours earlier. I'm going to attribute that to the insomnia this week, I was genuinely tired, and the difference in waking up from a 2 hour nap as opposed to a 2 hour pass out was kind of amazing. Going to spend the day with family tomorrow instead of making my excuses, and I'm actually looking forward to it, so that's new. Here's looking forward to another 24 hours.
Heading into Friday evening of day 5 and it's been an ok day. This morning was kind of rough, breaking that old habit of running to the liquor store when they opened, instead I took a long walk, got some fresh air, did some shopping. It felt a little more productive than my normal routine. The cloudiness I've felt all week has lifted some, and I was able to sleep for a few hours earlier. I'm going to attribute that to the insomnia this week, I was genuinely tired, and the difference in waking up from a 2 hour nap as opposed to a 2 hour pass out was kind of amazing. Going to spend the day with family tomorrow instead of making my excuses, and I'm actually looking forward to it, so that's new. Here's looking forward to another 24 hours.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Stay STRONG EarlyHours! Things will get better and better as time passes.
Enjoy the meeting tonight and don't be afraid to share. Unfortunately I will not be attending as I have tickets to a concert tonight and will not be home.
Take Care.
Enjoy the meeting tonight and don't be afraid to share. Unfortunately I will not be attending as I have tickets to a concert tonight and will not be home.
Take Care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 60
Day 5 (miscounted yesterday, I know my brain was fuzzy when I couldn't count to 5 properly). Spent the day with my sister's family, and let her know I had quit drinking. She's the first person I have told outside of here other than a co-worker who promptly tried to pass me the bottle of vodka he keeps in his desk drawer. We sat outside at lunch, right next to a beer/wine store, so that was fun. I know it wasn't intentional. Other than the, "I can't see you this weekend" excuses, I hid my drinking pretty well from them, the whole sobriety conversation lasted about 5 seconds. Still, I spent half the time wanting to get up from the table and run away from the store, and the other half wanting to run directly into it.
Anyway, back home to my sparkling water and a quiet and sober night. Hope everyone is doing well.
Anyway, back home to my sparkling water and a quiet and sober night. Hope everyone is doing well.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Great job on 5 days. I can relate to a lot of your story, acid reflux, the vomiting because you are too sick to hold food down, etc. My formerly white living room carpet still has a few stains from bouts of puking. Sounds like you have made the right decision in choosing not to drink. Remarkable how this stuff is literally killing us and we continue to pour it down our throats. Will never make sense to me....
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