Accidental?
 

I was actually looking for a forum for like minded heavy drinkers like myself when i happened upon this forum via a google search.
Then i realised how pathetic i have become, and how my life revolves around alcohol. Alcohol is always on my brain. it is the start and end of my day.
It has resulted in numerous convictions for theft of alcohol from stores... Numerous beatings in random attacks whilst drunk, numerous injuries from self inflicted injuries whilst drunk.
I've had plenty of chances to go to rehab, whether court appointed or off my own back, but i always thought i could do it on my terms.
Who am i kidding?
i no longer have a job, friends have deserted me. i have driven my parents to edge of despair.
I lost my 41 yr old sister last year, just gave me another excuse to hit the bottle..
I am approaching 40 in 2 months and i feel its now or never.....
I'm sick of feeling sick. Even typing this feels like a load off my brain.......

D.

Welcome, David!

You'll find lots of support and ideas for staying sober here.

Read around and post often!

David

I really identified with those feelings in your post!!! I am now over 16 months sober and recently turned 40. I really hope you can find sobriety soon - it is absolutely worth it!!

Welcome to the forum, David. :)

IMO, you did not get here by accident. Welcome to SR. There is a lot of information and support here. Keep coming back!

The problem i have is that i have gone sober for weeks on end and felt absolutely amazing to the point of mania... (i'm on antidepressants)... then i want to drink and i do, and the vicious cycle begins again

Hi David, welcome to SR

Being here is a great first step David, welcome.

I was in that vicious cycle as well.
Like you I had to put that bottle down and get it in my head that I was done with it forever. You need a support team. Family,friends,if need be AA and yes,this site helps out a lot. Visit here often,use this as a tool.
I didn't think I could break the cycle.

But, now I'm coming up on 11 months of sobriety.
You can do it as well. And start living again.

Hell I feel a fraud. i'm drinking as we speak.. but hopefully my last.... I decided to stay on this forum. thats a step in the direction right?? i could of passed this by.... D.

Absolutely.
Just stick around here. Chat with people.
There's no judgement. We've all been there my friend.

Welcome to the family. :) I hope our support can help you put the bottle down for good. :)

I appreciate that. To a lot of people i'm scum of the earth... Just some stupid old drunk....never had anyone to talk too...... D.

Welcome friend. You are among those who understand. This is an awesome tool and caring community to help keep you not pick up the drink. You found us with a drink in hand and I really hope you find it without one as well...ya know?
I have no idea where you are with drinking as in ....physical rather than just emotional dependence..do you think a visit to doc might be a good idea? Do you think you might require medical supervision in order to detox?

Trouble is. i went into a pre-detox and my results came back ok.. Slightly high but not life threatining... I was so pleased i went for it! got completely smashed and continued to do so.. i've been lucky, but sure enough my lucks running out..... feel so ill!....... D.

NO,you're neither of those.
You're just like us, alcohol slowly became a big part of life. Offering a temporary hide out only to cause even bigger issues in life.
It happens. But the great news is,it's reversible.
I wont lie,takes a lot of work. But,you've made a BIG step in the right direction,David.

You have lost a job, friends and family...
So you're internal organs have not yet shown signs of quitting yet...
Is that the ONLY red light you require?

thanks for reminding me were i have come from my friend
the simple truth is i dont drink anymore thanks to aa
and in over 10 years i have never been in trouble with the law in anyway shape or form
i have not be beaten up anymore when out and drunk etc
i dont wake up anymore with hangovers
i dont have to try to remember what i did last night

life isnt a bed of roses bad things happen but i am able to stay sober through them
there have been times were i have felt true happiness in my life and really felt good to be alive

when i read posts like yours it takes me back to day one when i was so alone and empty inside of me
thanks for that post and i went to aa for help and it worked that is just one option open for you as there are many more around these days and there all out there just give you any help you might need
good luck to you my friend keep coming back and posting if you dont fancy an aa meeting but keep in touch

Of course not.... But alcohol is seductive in so much as, when you're pissed nothing else matters. family, health, neighbours!! right? that's why i be here. i need to right so many wrongs... with a clear head. D.

Welcome to the Forum!! you'll find loads of support here on SR!! :wave: