Losing my resolve suddenly, why??????
 

Yesterday I accomplished what I haven't been able to do in 20 yrs, 1 month sober! It has been easier than I expected, thanks to SR. Today suddenly I just want to get out of my head. I feel a little fatigue and just want to think about something else. Drinking would make it soooo easy, but I know if I have one drink today, it will turn into two tomorrow and 10 on Saturday, and Sunday how will I get back to this place again?....

Just ranting, thanks for listening and any comments you may have.

I think the recovery road is not usually a straight line and there are ups and downs as we move along.

Can you come up with healthy things to do when you want to get out of your head? For me, music usually does the trick or a long walk. :)

You already did 2 things that were very good ideas - coming here with your drinking thoughts, and also "playing the tape forward"....and recognizing that it will never be "Just one".

Sometimes there is a "pink cloud" in very early sobriety where everything feels great, your body is getting healthy again, you are proud of your hard work, etc. Then reality suddenly reminds you that life is going on...which it always does. Accepting that we'll have bad days no matter what is important - and seeking extra help on those days is even more important. Be well!

You mentioned fatigue therefore I can't help but wonder if this is a sudden "craving" rather than a nagging, lingering (as in days) loss of resolve.
In my last sobriety which was a matter of months...I know I had probably 4 or 5 hard cravings (obviously didn't make it through the last) and I know a couple of them were due to extreme fatigue...a couple were due to emotional overwhelment and once was a combination of fatigue and not eating all day.
Are you familiar with the H.A.L.T?
Hungry, Angry Lonely Tired. It's always a good idea to check in with yourself to see if any of the factors are in play when a drink seems like a good idea.

You are doing great, but realize that you are still REALLY EARLY in recovery.


What this means is your thinking isnt right yet, you will still have intense cravings, and your emotions are fresh and new.

Nuudawn is right, focus on the HALT, come here, hang out with other sober people, go to meetings, whatever you do.

Just know this. It gets a LOT better than where you are now. You are just having a bit of a rough patch.

Play the tape to the end, realize that if you start drinking again, you have to start all over again.
You can do it!

Great Job on 1 month!! keep pushing through, you can do this!! :)

Starting all over again reeeaaallly sounds awful. Thank you all for your responses. You nailed it with HALT. I was hungry, angry, tired and moody. And also received some drinking planning comments from friends. Went out and had a virgin piña colada. Thanks for the support