I can't get past my shame
I have never been a social drinker. I drank in social situations (Bars,Taverns) but I never dank like them. It is not a matter of just stopping. I have no off switch. One drink and the craving for more begins and gets worse.
It is the first drink that gets me drunk, every time. My limit is none, nadda, zero, zilch, nope, can't do it!
Anytime! As for worrying about your sober self being no fun, look back to before you started drinking. I bet you had loads of fun then. You'll also have had more money, no hangovers, no black outs etc.
I've been worried previously that my hubby to be might not love me anymore if I don't get drunk but that's just the dependency talking. I bet you're awesome-and all alcohol does is blur that awesomeness!
I've been worried previously that my hubby to be might not love me anymore if I don't get drunk but that's just the dependency talking. I bet you're awesome-and all alcohol does is blur that awesomeness!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 95
You're not alone! I did the same thing at the beginning of my recovery. I'm 33. All my friends drank. Offered me drinks, gave me a hard time when I told them I quit. It was really tough. I'd obsess over what I was going to tell them when they asked why I wasn't drinking. The anxiety drove me crazy. Will they not like the new me? What if my husband leaves me? I just kept thinking if I was open and honest and told them I couldn't stop when I started, and drinking was negatively affecting my life, they'd understand. But they don't. Only us alcoholics get it. It got easier and easier. Hang in there, and keep coming back!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 24
Anyone want to share their best secrets for day-to-day sobriety? My therapist recommends having non-alcoholic beverages on hand and I'll get stocked up there, but any methods anyone likes in particular? Has AA helped? Obviously SR is a great resource I plan to continue using
I'm going to jump in here and say be kind to yourself. Alcoholism is a disease you have and you are beginning to deal with it and that's great.
I would suggest you stop worrying about what your friends/family think about you drinking or not drinking. You know you have to stop drinking. For me, my recovery was a very personal journey. It was something I did for me. You do not owe anyone an explanation as to what you are drinking or why and it's rude for them to question you about it.
I had to make some big changes in my life in early recovery and many of us do. It's so much more than stopping drinking. Birthday parties are not always in bars and people don't always drink when bowling. Our perception is that alcohol is everywhere but it's not. You just need to look in different places.
You can do this and we're here for you.
I would suggest you stop worrying about what your friends/family think about you drinking or not drinking. You know you have to stop drinking. For me, my recovery was a very personal journey. It was something I did for me. You do not owe anyone an explanation as to what you are drinking or why and it's rude for them to question you about it.
I had to make some big changes in my life in early recovery and many of us do. It's so much more than stopping drinking. Birthday parties are not always in bars and people don't always drink when bowling. Our perception is that alcohol is everywhere but it's not. You just need to look in different places.
You can do this and we're here for you.
Welcome tigers. You already discovered what a great place this is. .
I've only one suggestion. Try to educate your bf on this. Make it casual. Like you found some information on alcoholism and you believe you fit the description. That should open up a discussion.
He does not need to know about SR.
Gllad you're here.
I've only one suggestion. Try to educate your bf on this. Make it casual. Like you found some information on alcoholism and you believe you fit the description. That should open up a discussion.
He does not need to know about SR.
Gllad you're here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 24
I like that grtgrandpa nice way of looking at it. And LBrain- I think opening up the discussion with him is a good idea. He knows I'm on SR and is proud of me for addressing my issue...he just doesn't realize that he has no idea what my "issue" is... Again not his fault, but doesn't help either
Wow! Tigerswithellie.... Reading your post was like reading my own thoughts! This thread has helped me more than any other so far (day 4 for me on SR). So glad you're here!! So nice to have people who understand. I can't tell you how much this thread has helped me to not feel so alone. Thanks everyone!! Xo
The great thing about SR is it is always there for us. SR is a group of anonymous people who are living in recovery. I just slept 5 hours, woke up, turned on my computer in the middle of the night, and talking to you. Just like that, you belong, you fit in, and you want we have got. We love you, learn to love yourself cause you are worth it.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Anna is right. You're overly concerned with what you imagine other people will say, think, feel or do if you were to continue to stay sober. The best remedy for shame is compassion, and learning how to do things on your own behalf. Neither your friends nor your family can or will live your life for you. It's what you do with your life that will determine what you become.
The best way to unburden people in your life who you imagine will worry over you starts with putting down the drink.
The best way to unburden people in your life who you imagine will worry over you starts with putting down the drink.
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