SigChiScooby

Welcome! Thanks for sharing with us. I hope you find what you are looking for through all of this. You definitely came to the right place. Good luck in your journey!

Hawkeye13

I tried moderation a number of times without success, most recently last summer.

Even with good intentions and initial promising results (able to stop at one or two)
I found the urges and amounts increasing and pretty soon was back where I started.

In the end, I found I had to stop all together and since then have been much more
at peace and cravings are nearly gone.

I have yet to read a real success story on this list of someone with serious alcohol issues who has been able to moderate in safety over time.
Seems that we change the wiring through years of abuse and you don't get a "do over".

Just a heads up--hope it all goes well

Gonnachange

I recognize that many have tried what I am attempting and failed. How many have succeeded? I have no idea and I'm not sure which camp I'll eventually wind up in, but I'm willing to give this approach a chance. I'm not going to extrapolate three days, but I'm already feeling much more empowered over my situation. Thanks for your good wishes.

Flossy, the evening went fine. More below.

Thanks for the good thoughts. Yeah, there have been times where I went out, had one or two social drinks and then came home and drank way more than that alone. Crazy!

Glad you were able to recognize what was happening and were strong enough to make the necessary adjustments in your life.

Last Night.

The evening went fine. The group had a couple of drinks each during the course of the evening and I had water; no pushback or queries from anybody helped my situation. So I'm on to day 4 which has it's own set of challenges. We're hosting a small afternoon BBQ and will probably be going out dancing tonight. I've been giving thought about what my plan for the day should be, but regardless of what I decided I'm confident I'll be successful.

Gonnachange

Although according to my plan I could have had a drink while hosting the BBQ I stuck with water. Really wasn't an issue, so maybe I'm over the hump. Not saying I can let my guard down because I KNOW I can't, just that some amount of behavior modification has taken place. Going to keep it going today. It wouldn't have happened without SR.

Hevyn

Gonna - Very interesting that you chose not to have the drink you were going to allow yourself.

For me, I began to feel relieved without it in my system. The thing I had loved and enjoyed for decades had turned on me - and I couldn't return to being a social drinker. I wanted it to be carefree and fun again but I'd proven it wasn't possible. Again, just my experience - I was very far gone when I found SR and drinking every day at that point.

I'm really glad you joined us and decided to share your experiences. As you said, keep it going....

Gonnachange

The situation made it very easy. When I wrote that it was a small BBQ, it really was. Only seven people and nobody else was drinking, not because they have any problems with alcohol, but because they didn't want anything other than water, seltzer, or soda.

Hevyn, I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and support me. Also your avatar of the puppy is great!

This Afternoon

A few hours ago I went on a bicycle ride. While pedaling away, out of nowhere the thought of a nice cold martini entered my head. Really??? Obviously I was in no position to do anything about it at that moment, but I was a little concerned about what would happen once I was home. The answer, at least up until now, is nothing.

This isn't the first time something like that has happened. Today's ride was only about 45 minutes, but I've been in the middle of marathons when the thought of a nice cold beer after I finished would come to the fore. Honestly, that never bothered me because I think many runners enduring 26.2 miles give that some thought on a hot day and there are often many signs held by spectators that mention rewarding ourselves with beer afterward. For the record, after showering and resting I've almost always had a beer or two after a marathon, but that's it. Again, my issue is not social drinking. Today's incident, for lack of a better term, however was a first.

Dee74

I'm glad the BBQ went ok.

I think tho that you need to consider that your problems with alcohol are not situationally based, although it may look like that to you now.

I tried drinking out, and drinking at home, drinking with friends and drinking alone, drinking after 5PM and drinking at 630AM...drinking wine, beer and spirits - sooner or later the same things happened, Gonnachange.

My problem was I was an alcoholic, not where I drank.

D

Gonnachange

I'll be the first to admit that what I'm attempting may not work. Fortunately, it won't take long for me to reach a conclusion so I don't see a lot of downside from where I am today. That said I truly appreciate your and the community's support for me and concern about how I'm approaching my problems. I don't mean to come across as close minded or and I know I'm swimming up stream despite the advice of people who are much more knowledgeable and experienced than I am. Frankly, the "never again" scares me and I need to see if can change that to "rarely". Unfortunately, I now have to write about last night.

Last Night

Old habits die hard. I drank alone while watching the NBA playoffs. I have no idea why other than, ironically, things were going so well and I let my guard down. I had a wonderful weekend with friends and family that culminated in me, my wife, and son spending a few quality hours together Sunday evening. We each went our separate ways and shortly afterward I had a glass in my hand. I didn't drink a lot, but it's a binary situation. Did I or didn't I and it was the former, so a big "FAIL" for last night.

I've let myself down as well as all who come here, but this is not going to snowball. Even with last night's poor decisions I'm in a better place than a week ago and I couldn't have gotten even this far without SR. Coming here works for me and I will continue to use this as a constructive resource. A week from now I hope to write once again that I'm in a better place than a week ago. Gotta keep my eye on the prize.

carlingford

Welcome Gonnachange, I'm 16 days alcohol free now after a relapse after my first time 34 days clean. I didn't really consider I had a problem until about 6 Months ago when the demon drink really took a grip (and after a doctors visit complaining about stomach and sleeping problems) I don't look back at lost opportunities I had, it's too hard and sad, history anyway now, I just look forward to my new beginning and life with wife and family and try to stay away from triggers (well easy as i'm in Saudi now) I wish you all the best with your goals you will get good advice here among friend in similar situations, Good Luck and welcome to SR

2muchpain

Gonnachange

I'm real sorry you had such a bad night on Sunday. Everybody here on SR can understand and relate to that. Everybody has to find their own path to recovery, and I hope things go better for you.
For me, I try hard not to think too much about the past or the future. If I think of the past too much, I begin to feel guilt and shame. If I think of the future too much, I feel pressure, stress and yes, fear. Each one makes it more difficult to not drink today, which is my goal. I have plenty of goals for the future but all I can do right now is to do what I can today to reach those goals, including not drinking. Some people have said that this kind of thinking just keeps the door open to drinking, and maybe they are right, I don't know. All I know is that I will make plans for today and will do what I can to achieve them. Tomorrow, I will do the same. I hope you have a great day TODAY.

Gonnachange

Congratulation on your current streak of 16 days. Hopefully today will be day 17.

Thanks for your insights and good wishes. It's good to be here; I know I've already benefited and truly believe I will continue to do so. After last night I know that I have to always be diligent if I want to achieve the outcome I want.

I'm in the one hour at a time state. Unfortunately, I didn't employ that strategy last night. Clearly my bad. And it's not that I drank a lot last night; I didn't and although I was up a little later than usual I was at the gym lifting weights at 8 AM earlier today. The big picture is that as I previously wrote anything over zero is not acceptable in that situation so while last night I was on the cusp of five days, I've had to reset the timer and am about to complete hour 12.

Hope today's a great day for you also.

Gonnachange

Just finished beating about a 60 minute urge. I was going to post, but decided to spend the time reading around SR first. In 16 minutes it will be 15 hours since my last drink last night. Resetting wasn't fun, but I'm going to make lemonade out of this lemon by remembering the feeling I currently have and put it in my toolbox when the next urge raises its demonic head.

Hevyn

We don't feel let down Gonnachange. We're glad you're here & working on this challenging situation. It's almost impossible to have it go perfectly right out of the gate. As you said, old habits die hard. It's an interesting journey.

Gonnachange

Hevyn, it certainly is an interesting journey.

Thanks for your perspective.

Gonnachange

Got through my second day 1. Some stray thoughts that I squashed, but otherwise okay. Coming up on 35 hours. I'll deal with hour 36 when it's here.

carlingford

Well done Gonnachange just keep busy to distract the thoughts,, don't let the sneaky other bad brain try fool you as it will try every trick in the book to do so, good luck
And keep posting

Gonnachange

Thanks Carlingford. I'm trying to use a variety of techniques to get through each urge. Yesterday afternoon while I was alone working took one type and last night when I was hanging out with my college age son who is home for the summer I used the parental "set a good example" technique.

As you suggested I'm going to keep posting because I'm finding it very helpful.

carlingford

I think we are all in the same boat here Gottachange, one way or the other!! I have my own hurdles to gross as well, there are and will be many for all of us, my latest is my boss has invited me and another chap from work out for drinks, I am relatively new in this job and do not want to drink as I cannot, it just makes me so ill with PAWS (Post Alcohol withdrawal syndrome) after years of drinking and I don't want to reverse the recovery I have made with my brain by drinking, so need a plan to get out of it or go and drink orange or coke, I know he will frown on me as not being "one of the lads" but hey its my brain I am protecting, will let you know outcome in following weeks /months. Take care and keep up the good work I think the next few days will be difficult but perservere if I can do it anyone can

Gonnachange

Wishing you well with your situation that is made more difficult due to work pressure. Without knowing any of the particulars, I think you need to put your health as the number one priority and trust that your boss will realize that you're "one of the guys" even if you're not drinking alcohol.

carlingford

Yes agreed Gonnachange and thanks, it is now my no.1 priority, he is a nice man and I'm sure that if I don't drink its no problem. I just read a new post in the new posts section of SR and it had loads of different ideas and remedies to get around this issue, hey if that's my only worry I have little to worry about!! at any rate I cannot loose my job for not drinking lol mind you its some change as I lost a few great jobs in my time all over the demon drink,, I'm feeling good today at 16 days but still having problems sleeping and some twitching, this in time will pass, hope you hanging in there Gonnachange? it does get better just time is needed to get all wires reconnected together again, talk soon