Last night started good but ended badly

Old 06-03-2014, 06:20 AM
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Join Date: May 2014
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Last night started good but ended badly

So coming home from work was better than I anticipated. It was a beautiful day and when I pulled in front of the house, my husband was woking on his truck, and the girls were drawing with their chalk in the driveway. Spent some time with them outside before starting dinner. I grilled why they played and helped dad water the plants. We sat down to a nice dinner (as nice as it could be with 2 year olds refusing to eat). Dad bathed them while I cleaned up. I felt so good having everything straightened up by the time they went to bed instead of putting it off to the morning which would just add to the craziness of my day. After, my husband and I were "relaxing" on the couch. Well I was fighting some killer cravings while he surfed the internet, until he asked if we were going to have sex. One of the issues we have is that when we stop his sex drive goes up, while mine goes down. Plus I was in no way giving any sign I was interested as I was fighting just to get through the night. We went back and forth until he stormed to bed and we exchanged some choice words. He usually wakes me to say goodbye before he leaves for work at 6am, but today left without saying goodbye. I work late tonight so I won't see him till after 9:30, and know that both our stubbornness will allow this to fester all day. So between that, not getting much sleep, I woke up feeling particularly frustrated, angry and nervous. I'm about to go get my girls up so we can start our day, but needed to get this off my chest before I did that.
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Old 06-03-2014, 06:34 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Long Island NY
Posts: 105
You didn't drink over it and that is a positive. Communication is the key to a good relationship and maybe something you two could discuss. I know you are frustrated but try to put the stubborness behind and text or call him. It could make the day a little less difficult. I am sorry there is strife between you two, I know it is an awful feeling on the inside.
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Old 06-03-2014, 07:15 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Your husband sulks and storms off to bed not speaking to you because you won't have sex with him?

I think he needs to grow up and stop being so selfish! The early days of sobriety are difficult and the less stress and pressure the better. Whilst he may not understand your problem he should at least respect your decision and be supportive,not putting you under any extra pressure.

Well done for not drinking over it and for putting your own needs first. since getting sober I've learned that what I want matters and priorotizing my own welfare is no bad thing.
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Old 06-03-2014, 08:02 AM
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It sounds like you both have stopped drinking together? Is that right? You said, "when we stop."

If that is accurate, I am thinking you are both struggling and on edge. I hope you can have a talk and discuss it. Hopefully come to some understanding that both of you are edgy if you have both quit together.
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