Keep taking control back!!!

Old 06-03-2014, 04:24 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Jupiters's Avatar
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
Keep taking control back!!!

Well, just over 3 weeks here...which isn't a huge deal for a binge drinker like myself. I could go 6 or 7 weeks sans posion, so I struggle with the early days as I have done it a million times before. For the most part, things have been good. Not great, but good. When I went on the last binge, I found myself in big ole pickle (2nd DUI, although it's a bit messed as I was not pulled over, I was arrested at home, after the fact and had already downed a crapload of booze b/c I scraped my BFs passenger side and buggered it....I knew he would be pissssssssed so my first reaction was to drink whatever I had left hidden, WHACKADOODLE!)
In the days after, I managed to get in detox and he visited me everyday, my family has rallied around me AGAIN and have a fairly good support system. I came clean with my employers, luckily saved my job but am on a very very very short leash, next time....I'm out. They will support me as much as they can but obviously have a business to run (I run the office alone, so when I am not at my best, **** falls apart pretty damn quick. I also deal with patients all day long so can't exactly be stinkin like booze every couple months!!!!)

My struggle the last few days have been with taking the control back. I got a lawyer for this "DUI" and haven't heard from him since I saw him weeks ago. THe day I saw him, I was detoxing, withdrawing, EXHAUSTED b/c at that point I was kicked outta my apt., my parents weren't talking to me and work hadn't decided yet if they were gonna keep suffice it to say, I was NOT of sound mind and clearheaded. The lawyer and I talked, but no monetary value was spoke of. Just that he would work something out with me down the road, that he wants to help me (I got his name from a friend who used him)....his last words were "Kiddo, get yourself in detox, get better and let me handle this mess" (lol kiddo, I'm 37.5yrs old! hahah)
so he went to court for me last wed, the first one always gets need to miss a day of work for that.
I haven't heard **** since. I have no clue what else he has found out, what charges I am looking at...etc etc.
Part of me wants to call his office now that I am clean, rested and settled (well moreso than last time he saw me)....the other part is telling me "he'll call you when he needs to so just relax and keep focussing on you"

patience is a beyotch. I try everyday to talk and connect with my HP and I find the last few days I am having a really hard time with all these unknowns. I am terrified I'm gonna get slapped with a ridiculous bill from him and I know the court will impose a hefty fine (2nd one).
The whole situation is messed bc I was not drinking prior, I was still drunk from the night before and had no right getting behind the wheel, I am totally admitting that. But the boozing came after I was already home, freaked out about the paint on the side of the car and downed a ******** amount of booze..when the door knocked and 2 cops stood there.
talk about scared sh******!!!!
I keep wanting to try and control this even though logically i KNOW I cannot. I need to let go of this and let him do his ****, I didnt write the bar exam!

anyways - just woke up today feeling edgy and needed to vent.
I love this site. It has been invaluable.
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Old 06-03-2014, 04:41 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
PurpleKnight's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Great Job on 3 weeks!!

Hang in there, Sobriety will help you regain overall control of your life, but in the short term waiting for the next step forward is difficult, but it'll work out eventually, give it time.
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Old 06-03-2014, 08:32 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
firstymer's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Call the lawyer. That's what he is there for. And you will feel better once you have more information. Also, don't be afraid to ask the lawyer how much you should expect to have to pay when all is said and done. Finally, if you are getting a bad vibe from this lawyer, call a different one. Reputable lawyers typically maintain contact with clients. And they don't operate without a clear fee agreement. Offering to "work something out" on your fees is not smart lawyering.

Finally, the prosecution will not be able to establish that you were driving while drunk, especially since they didn't observe you immediately after you were driving. You will likely face a charge of leaving the scene of an accident, but it will be much less serious than a second DUI conviction.

Good luck. Focus on your sobriety. I suspect the DUI issue will not be as bad as you fear.
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