wantmylifeback2

So last night I was having awful dreams and constantly going over my awful drunk night on Saturday. I am so afraid that I will go back to that again.....and I want so desperately to never do that EVER again!

A little background on me. I am 40 years old, never married, no kids. I've been traveling a lot and focusing on my career. I moved to Chicago 6 years ago and didn't know anyone, so I had to make new friends after the move. That is difficult at any age, but trying to do that as an adult is not easy. I find that most people already have a group of friends or are married and never go out. Its just been really difficult. So.....as you can guess, the best way to do to meet new people was to go to the bars. Which I have been doing a lot of over the years. Sadly, this seems to be the only thing that anyone ever wants to do. I have been trying to do the online dating thing but the first date is ALWAYS a drink. I'm a cute girl. Ive been told I look much younger than my age. I've run 16 marathons and go to the gym everyday. I am healthy in every aspect of my life except for drinking. How will I ever meet a man if I can't go out? Where does a 40 year old woman meet someone? I fear this will drive me back to the bar. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. I always hoped for kids, but I waited too long. And now, I'm single and alone with 2 cats. Very cliche. I am the person that is made fun of on TV. The single 40 year old woman with cats. Crazy cat lady.

Everyone I know only ever wants to go to the bars at night. Especially in the summer. Or drinking on their boats on Lake Michigan. I unfortunately have a really hard time being around alcohol at all. I don't trust myself so I am going to have to distance myself from that completely. But, where do I meet new people....a man????? The thought that I am destined to be alone just makes me want to drink myself into a coma. I just feel so utterly helpless......

I guess day 2 is harder form me than day 1.

ScottFromWI

It's very common to feel tis way Wantmylifeback2. We look back at what we did ( or didn't ) do while we were driking and lament decisions we made, things we did, etc. Unforuntately we can't change it, but we can change today and what we do moving forward. Glad that you have made a decision to quit and congrats on day 2.

Regarding your main question, it's also very common for us to assume that "everyone drinks" and that bars are the only place to meet people. Mostly because that's all we know. Fortunately there is another entire world out there that has nothing to do with drinking, and there are a lot of people in it ( both men and women by the way! ). One place to learn about these things is through meeting based recover ( AA, Smart, ,etc. ). I'm not suggesting you meet a partner or a date at a meeting of course - that would be inappropriate - but the support groups open your eyes to a world of sober opportunities. Volunteering, book clubs, taking courses, excercise courses/events, there is a long list of places you can be social without drinking.

wantmylifeback2

Well......now the day is getting worse. I went out with coworkers after work last Thursday night. And....in true fashion I was completely out of my mind drunk. And as we all know, this is always a good idea around co-workers (sarcastic). Anyway, I was with one of my bosses who was pretty drunk himself and he told me to take the day off last Friday. So....I did. However, my other boss and OWNER/FOUNDER or the company did not give me permission nor did he know I was taking the day off and he just came to talk to me. I felt like a 10 year old child being scolded by my parents. So....again, drinking has proven to be a huge problem for me. I now feel ever more stupid than I did this weekend. I don't even want to look my boss in the face. Taking the day off Friday was just more proof that I have no control around alcohol. I'm so embarrassed and I feel as I Ive totally let down my boss. This is not good

I am not having a good day