Day 8
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Posts: 196
Day 8
A couple of tough moments this weekend, but it's over and I'm still here. I thought the night sweating was done, but it isn't based on last night. I'm feeling groggy this morning and a little pessimistic.
I started thinking about my lot in life and how I can pretend all I want that it is going to change, but that's just fantasy. Not from a drinking perspective but from being a self actualized human being perspective. I feel like I drank to allow myself the façade. The only way I can keep fooling myself is to be in a stupor. Otherwise, I'm going to see things as they are. They aren't bad by any means, but they are not what I would like the end game to look like. I feel selfish thinking crap like this. My daughter just came out of an auto accident unscathed last Monday for God's sake!
I need to slow down. This always happens. I make it a few days and I start getting way ahead of myself wanting to change everything. I need to stick to the plan. These first couple of weeks are just for staying dry. No drinking and maintaining the status quo. Do my daily chores, have some quiet time each day, and develop the plan. That's what I need to worry about...just that.
Have a great week everyone. And thanks for helping put things back in perspective.
I started thinking about my lot in life and how I can pretend all I want that it is going to change, but that's just fantasy. Not from a drinking perspective but from being a self actualized human being perspective. I feel like I drank to allow myself the façade. The only way I can keep fooling myself is to be in a stupor. Otherwise, I'm going to see things as they are. They aren't bad by any means, but they are not what I would like the end game to look like. I feel selfish thinking crap like this. My daughter just came out of an auto accident unscathed last Monday for God's sake!
I need to slow down. This always happens. I make it a few days and I start getting way ahead of myself wanting to change everything. I need to stick to the plan. These first couple of weeks are just for staying dry. No drinking and maintaining the status quo. Do my daily chores, have some quiet time each day, and develop the plan. That's what I need to worry about...just that.
Have a great week everyone. And thanks for helping put things back in perspective.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 135
Hey Dirk,
I tend to do the same thing regarding getting ahead of myself. In fact I was thinking that is part of the reason I can't get past two weeks of sobriety.
Like you said, I think it's a good thing to just focus on staying dry at first.
Congrats on day 8.
I tend to do the same thing regarding getting ahead of myself. In fact I was thinking that is part of the reason I can't get past two weeks of sobriety.
Like you said, I think it's a good thing to just focus on staying dry at first.
Congrats on day 8.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: BC
Posts: 557
"I need to slow down. This always happens. I make it a few days and I start getting way ahead of myself wanting to change everything. I need to stick to the plan. These first couple of weeks are just for staying dry. No drinking and maintaining the status quo. Do my daily chores, have some quiet time each day, and develop the plan. That's what I need to worry about...just that."
I got really frustrated the last time I quit, because after 5 weeks of sobriety, my life wasn't any "better" than it was before I quit .... or at least that is how I saw things. All the $hit we've created as alcoholics has taken us YEARS to do, it's going to take a long time to accept that, undo what we can, and deal with what we can't undo. It's not going to happen overnight. What I didn't realize, was that it was MUCH better ... because I was seeing it through sober eyes and with a clear mind. Didn't make it any better, but it sure made it clearer. I've never had to really deal with anything with a clear mind, without using alcohol as a buffer. It's going to be a hard new lesson to learn and I know it's not going to be easy. Like you, I just need to NOT drink right now. The plan will come, I know it will. But I believe it is going to be a lifelong journey and it's going to take a long time to feel right in my own skin again (or maybe for the first time
).
Day by day right now ... I am plodding along beside you Dirk! Great job on eight days!
I got really frustrated the last time I quit, because after 5 weeks of sobriety, my life wasn't any "better" than it was before I quit .... or at least that is how I saw things. All the $hit we've created as alcoholics has taken us YEARS to do, it's going to take a long time to accept that, undo what we can, and deal with what we can't undo. It's not going to happen overnight. What I didn't realize, was that it was MUCH better ... because I was seeing it through sober eyes and with a clear mind. Didn't make it any better, but it sure made it clearer. I've never had to really deal with anything with a clear mind, without using alcohol as a buffer. It's going to be a hard new lesson to learn and I know it's not going to be easy. Like you, I just need to NOT drink right now. The plan will come, I know it will. But I believe it is going to be a lifelong journey and it's going to take a long time to feel right in my own skin again (or maybe for the first time
).Day by day right now ... I am plodding along beside you Dirk! Great job on eight days!
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