bookmaven

In AA they say "we are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn't done so yet."

(Chapter 3, p. 31 Alcoholics Anonymous)

360shoes

Hi ForgiveMeAll,
Welcome!

The only way I even got on the path to start the rewiring was taking the option of drinking completely off the table. I told myself no matter what, I would not drink. At first, my own thoughts tried to convince me otherwise. I did whatever I had to do when those times hit.

Sometimes it was as easy and a pint of hagan daz that did the trick. Other times I had to cry or just go to bed. Mostly though, I got here and joined the March 2013 class and poured my heart out to a bunch of strangers just like me.

15 months later...those strangers are my friends, the thought of wanting to drink doesn't occur to me...oh, every now and then I get a response to something and like an old memory a thought will pass that I used to drink when I felt a feeling I couldn't quite identify but not very often. It's okay. I still like my not drinking life so much better than my drinking one.

You can do! You will find lots of support here when you need it!

ForgiveMeAll

I have been sober for 3 days and it has been so hard. I get constant thoughts all day. I used to count the hours till I was off work so I could get drunk. Now I find myself still looking at the clock and I am having to try to think of something else. I find myself crying all the time like you said. I am so alone tonight. My kids are with my X and my boyfriend still won't talk to me. I am finding this so hard! I am crying all the time as I am so ashamed of what I have done, my actions, my hurtful words... I really hope everyone who I have hurt can find it in their heart to forgive me. I am trying so hard to do this. It is so hard when I have no friends or family to help me.

I threw everything out so there won't be anymore drinking and I am definitely not buying any.

I so look forward to my not drinking life being happier.

Thank for your support!

Dee74

Have you checked out the Class of June support thread ForgiveMeAll?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2014-a-6.html

or the 24 hours club for daily pledges?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...elcome-10.html

D

least

Welcome to the family. Show them with your actions. Stay sober and show them that you mean it. Eventually they will notice. Do the next right thing and they will come around.

fini

ForgiveMeAll,

good to see you here.
and sorry to hear you feel so alone. in my "real" life i found one meeting per week i could go to when i sobered up, but the mainstay of my support came on line, where i was every day. connecting and participating with others was the most helpful thing. maybe it will be for you, too. lots of "others" here to connect and talk with any time.

ForgiveMeAll

Thanks for sharing!!

ForgiveMeAll

I agree. It's finally time in my life to show my actions match my words and promises!

I am hoping they will notice I finally mean it and will support me.

Thanks for the welcome and hug!!!!

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome, ForgiveMeAll. You're in a tough spot but there's a way out. Most of us here were at our rock bottom at one point and battled back. It's a shame that you can't be honest with the psychologist without risking your job- the first duty should be to the patient! Still, there are other steps to take.

If there an AA group near you? That might help.

AVRT was a godsend to me. It's all I have needed to stay sober, going on 20 months or so now.

Good luck to you! Remember, there is hope!