So so heartbroken and afraid
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 133
So so heartbroken and afraid
My name is Kelly and I'm an alcoholic. And the pain that's where my heart is is so sore. It's hurts so much. I had to be taken to the hospital today to speak to a physiatrist. They did an ECG to see if there was something wrong but I know it's not medical. My heart is just broken. I can't stop drinking. I got Librium today and still finding its so hard. I'm supposed to be going into a treatment centre tomorrow and I'm so scared and afraid. I don't know how I will find the strength. I was at this treatment centre last year and I was happy there but I was in such denial too. But this time there's so so so much pain. Did anyone ever feel this heartbreak physically? I feel now alcohol is taking my mind. I'm so afraid and lost and broken. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Aw, welcome to the site, Kelly! It's going to be okay.
You can stop drinking. Go to treatment and throw yourself willingly into the program. Pay attention, be humble, do what they suggest.
You can beat this. Millions have.
You may be having physical pain because you're causing it by drinking. I had lots of heart and stomach issues at the end when I was drinking. Pain, anxiety, fear, depression, hopelessness - it all goes with alcohol dependency.
You can stop drinking. Go to treatment and throw yourself willingly into the program. Pay attention, be humble, do what they suggest.
You can beat this. Millions have.
You may be having physical pain because you're causing it by drinking. I had lots of heart and stomach issues at the end when I was drinking. Pain, anxiety, fear, depression, hopelessness - it all goes with alcohol dependency.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 643
Please don't give up Kelly. I know what you mean about the pain in your heart. Maybe it is your heart trying to tell you how much it needs you to get well. Just surrender to treatment and let others help you though this. Much love x
You'll find lots of support and understanding here 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 375
I think everyone has some understanding of your pain. We are all different but we are here because we feel a common bond. You don't need to worry here. Just be safe and tell us what you need to tell us. I hope the treatment really helps you.
Be tough, be strong and believe in yourself. Keep us posted. We are all here whenever you need us.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Take heart Kelly,
How you are feeling is how most of us felt just before we recovered. It is always darkest before the dawn. It seems alcoholics of our type need to reach this point before we are open to the solution. A miracle awaits you, just around the corner.
Hang in there Kelly, the best years of your life lay ahead of you.
How you are feeling is how most of us felt just before we recovered. It is always darkest before the dawn. It seems alcoholics of our type need to reach this point before we are open to the solution. A miracle awaits you, just around the corner.
Hang in there Kelly, the best years of your life lay ahead of you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Hi Kelly. I'm so glad you found SR. You're in very good company, and we all understand.
You don't have to feel this fear & dread ever again. You can get well and begin to heal from all you've been through. There's a wonderful new beginning waiting for you & things can be better than ever. We're here for you - any time - please keep posting.
You don't have to feel this fear & dread ever again. You can get well and begin to heal from all you've been through. There's a wonderful new beginning waiting for you & things can be better than ever. We're here for you - any time - please keep posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 133
I am just reading over these messages I received here almost six months ago and have been moved to tears. The reassuring words, encouragement and love, reading them now with a much clearer headed and am astonished at the good heartedness of it all.
I went to treatment, a 28 day program, and am 6 months sober at the end of the month.
Each and every kind word that was written to me, it helped me in finding the strength to keep things together while they were falling apart; and I will be so very grateful always for that. Love to you all. And thank you, I really mean that.
I went to treatment, a 28 day program, and am 6 months sober at the end of the month.
Each and every kind word that was written to me, it helped me in finding the strength to keep things together while they were falling apart; and I will be so very grateful always for that. Love to you all. And thank you, I really mean that.
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